Baptism meeting with father

seven-day-weekend

Being christened as a baby does not remove your choices later on. You are still free to chose any faith or none.

snowleopard61

Below is a quotation from a Catholic website, written by a Jesuit priest. It's a very traditional view and obviously would be regarded as nonsense by many of the posters on this thread, but it expresses something different and separate from the view of baptism as primarily an initiation into the life of the church. The traditional C of E view is not dissimilar:

"Baptism clearly shows what the Catholic Church understands by the sacraments. They actually give, cause if you will, the grace which they signify. There need be no deliberate contribution from a newborn child. The sacrament itself confers grace from God just because the infant is baptized."

Disclaimer: my own religious background is ridiculously complex (although basically a combination of Catholic, C of E and 'none of the above') so I'm not making a personal statement here. And in any event it's clear that the OP does see the baptism as the beginning of an involvement in the life of the church. But it always surprises me that no one seems to mention this particular take on things, as it was taught to me as the main purpose of baptism!

jaylee3

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Being christened as a baby does not remove your choices later on. You are still free to chose any faith or none.

Exactly! What harm can it do?! As I said, I don't know a single person whose life has been affected negatively by being christened.

However, I do actually know of a number of people who have encountered problems and issues because they were not christened. EG; when they came to get married in Church. Also, when they wanted their own children christened.

DH's cousin was not christened, and when he told the vicar this, he wouldn't christen his son. This happened several times before he found someone who would. Even then, the vicar said he and his wife have to attend the Alpha Course first, and that he'd appreciate it the family attend Church fairly regularly afterwards.

Another case I can think of is a work colleague who tried half a dozen Churches to christen her baby, and was refused by them all. The seventh one she tried, said they would christen her baby if she agreed to be christened herself.

In addition, a couple of other people I have known, struggled to get a Church wedding, because they were not christened.

IMO, you take away far more future opportunities by refusing to have your children christened.

I know some struggle to understand why people want their children christened if they are atheist/not much of a believer. But many do. DH's pal at work is atheist, and his wife is not atheist but is a bit sceptical, and hasn't been to church in 20 years, yet they both wanted their daughter christened.

The man cited his reason as 'it's not fair that my baby daughter loses out on being christened, because *I* don't believe.' I kind of agree with him. Just because YOU are atheist, doesn't mean you have the right to deprive your baby of being christened.

Like I said earlier, it's not going to affect ANY aspect of their life if they are christened, but it can cause problems at a later date, if they are not.

Have to say also, that I do find some people who are atheist, far much critical and judgemental than any Christian I have ever met.

Mojisola

jaylee3 wrote: »

However, I do actually know of a number of people who have encountered problems and issues because they were not christened. EG; when they came to get married in Church. Also, when they wanted their own children christened.

If someone comes from a family who aren't Christians (and so wasn't christened as a child) and has managed to reach the age where they are getting married and having children without getting involved in a religious community themselves, why would they want to get married in a church or have their own children christened?

jaylee3

Mojisola wrote: »

If someone comes from a family who aren't Christians (and so wasn't christened as a child) and has managed to reach the age where they are getting married and having children without getting involved in a religious community themselves, why would they want to get married in a church or have their own children christened?

Beats the hell out of me! But many people seem to want their children christened, AND they want to get married in Church. Even though they were not christened themselves and didn't grow up going to Church.

onomatopoeia99

jaylee3 wrote: »

I have never in my LIFE, ever known anyone furious at their parents for having them christened.

Me, because it meant I went to the attached RC school (this was the reason I was christened at 4) so had to be confirmed when I was 12. Never mind the being dragged to church every Sunday morning against my will because the priest would come round your house and ask your parents why you weren't there.

Should I ever marry, it will not be in a church. Should I ever have children, they can organise their own christening when they are competent to make the decision to be christened. I would not impose any faith on them nor would I attempt to impose my own atheism.

My opinion counts for little, given my lack of faith, but I'd say that the decision to enter the Christian faith through baptism represents a far greater commitment if made by a person competent to make the choice than if made on their behalf by a parent.

jaylee3

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

Me, because it meant I went to the attached RC school (this was the reason I was christened at 4) so had to be confirmed when I was 12. Never mind the being dragged to church every Sunday morning against my will because the priest would come round your house and ask your parents why you weren't there.

Should I ever marry, it will not be in a church. Should I ever have children, they can organise their own christening when they are competent to make the decision to be christened. I would not impose any faith on them nor would I attempt to impose my own atheism.

So it was being dragged to Church every week that affected your life, and the fact that your parents were clearly very religious. It was not just the fact you were christened... .

Millions of people are christened by parents who just want them christened. Very few people who are christened are forced to go to Church every Sunday of every year as a child. I was christened, and so were all 8 of my cousins. We rarely went to church at all as a child or teen; only to family weddings and baptisms of babies.

The same applies to almost everyone I know. Very, very few people were 'forced' to go to Church a child. Maybe it was the done thing some 50-60 plus years back, but most people I know who were christened as a baby, have hardly ever attended Church at all during their life..

arbroath_lass

jaylee3 wrote: »

I have never in my LIFE, ever known anyone furious at their parents for having them christened.

I have known a few people who were quite cross with parents for NOT having them christened though.

What harm can it POSSIBLY do? How is being christened EVER going to affect a person's life?!

I didn't say furious, I said resentful. I don't hate my parents. I do resent having that choice taken away from me.

I am not a Christian, I don't want anything to do with the Christian Church yet I have had this tie forced on me.

If the OP had posted she was getting her children's ears pierced she'd have been shouted down. This is worse, in my opinion. This is my spirituality. It should have been my decision.

These things should only be entered into by people capable of deciding for themselves.

notanewuser

Why do it though? What's the purpose if you yourself don't believe? What do they miss out on by not being christened?

tea_lover

jaylee3 wrote: »

Beats the hell out of me! But many people seem to want their children christened, AND they want to get married in Church. Even though they were not christened themselves and didn't grow up going to Church.

And that's the part I really don't understand. I won't be having children, but if I had I'd really been looking forward to getting them baptised as it means so much to me. I genuinely don't understand why people do it when they clearly don't mean what they're saying.

I wouldn't dream of hijacking a Muslim or Hindu ceremony for the sake of a knees up and don't get why so many people to do the same with baptisms.

To me (and many others) a church is a holy space. A church service is a holy time to worship and meet with God. Of course, it's open to anyone and it's great when new people attend. But it's downright disrepectful when so often people are playing with their phones the whole time, leaving for a smoke in the middle of the service, walking out the second the baptism is complete, talking loudly the whole way through.

I realise this is getting OT now... sorry OP. I hope your meeting goes well and that you enjoy getting involved with your church.