Can't afford to leave

MrsSaver

I'm in a relationship I can't afford to leave.

We both earn £36k. If I leave I will have full nursery fees (£1200), commute (£200), rent (c.£600 for one bed flat near work). I've not eaten or paid any bills and I'm broke already. (£1900ish take home pay).

I feel so sad as I'm no longer in love with my baby's father, I want to keep my exit civil and so I will offer to leave our home. I own half but I'm not sure how paying the mortgage would work. I guess we would both move out and rent it. Although that would just about pay the mortgage. So no profit there

I can't be the only person not to be able to move out. How did you deal with it?

lika_86

Have you factored in the amount your partner will have to contribute in child support?

annie_d

Have you considered Relate?

BigAunty

Shelter has a relationship breakdown section to advise on rights, options and obligations when it comes to accommodation.

fivetide

If you pay £600 to live near work that knocks off £200 commute immediately.

You should also be looking to how much your partner will provide in support too although that isn't technically an income stream it is their share of the childcare costs.

How old is the little one? Can you do the vouchers through work? They can be tax friendly etc. You'll also get child support so there is a lot more to factor in than what you have put here.

Confusedandneedhelp

MrsSaver wrote: »

I'm in a relationship I can't afford to leave.

We both earn £36k. If I leave I will have full nursery fees (£1200), commute (£200), rent (c.£600 for one bed flat near work). I've not eaten or paid any bills and I'm broke already. (£1900ish take home pay).

I feel so sad as I'm no longer in love with my baby's father, I want to keep my exit civil and so I will offer to leave our home. I own half but I'm not sure how paying the mortgage would work. I guess we would both move out and rent it. Although that would just about pay the mortgage. So no profit there

I can't be the only person not to be able to move out. How did you deal with it?

Why are you assuming the child would come with you? Just curious that alot of the time this is 'pre'decided'

heartbreak_star

Have you actually sat down and talked to your partner about this? Is it really an unworkable relationship?

Can you pinpoint what has gone wrong?

Good luck.

HBS x

dorothyjeffery

because there is a child involved, a court would most likely say that YOU stay in the house. you are entitled to stay in the house until your child finishes full time education. and being on your own means that you may also get some tax credits, which helps towards child care too. think about working part time?? you may also get some help with your rent and council tax. (if you do move out and rent a place).

i think you maybe need to see someone to advise you on what your rights are.

Confusedandneedhelp

dorothyjeffery wrote: »

because there is a child involved, a court would most likely say that YOU stay in the house. you are entitled to stay in the house until your child finishes full time education. and being on your own means that you may also get some tax credits, which helps towards child care too. think about working part time?? you may also get some help with your rent and council tax. (if you do move out and rent a place).

i think you maybe need to see someone to advise you on what your rights are.

Think this advice is VERY shortsighted.

The court will possibly decide, that the parent with primary care (not necessarily the mother) will remain in the home with the child. They are not likely to remove the other party from the home unless there is domestic abuse/ protection orders etc.

So the partner will be perfectly entitled to live at the home.
There is no divorce in this case as far as i can see.

So basically its upto the OP and her partner how this goes down.

freshstart11

Confused, increasingly your post seem less helpful and more towards nitpicking peoples posts when it is clearly a difficult time. I am all for not the mother but the BEST parent being the resident parent but please stop jumping on things! Sometimes becomes hard to read!

Mrs, I would strongly recommend speaking to your baby dad, maybe counselling? If not then speak to shelter for more advice.

I do hope you find some peace xx

Confusedandneedhelp

freshstart11 wrote: »

Confused, increasingly your post seem less helpful and more towards nitpicking peoples posts when it is clearly a difficult time. I am all for not the mother but the BEST parent being the resident parent but please stop jumping on things! Sometimes becomes hard to read!

Mrs, I would strongly recommend speaking to your baby dad, maybe counselling? If not then speak to shelter for more advice.

I do hope you find some peace xx

I apologise if it seems i was having a go, im not.

The advice is intended to be pragmatic.

The OP is making decisions about her life, without possibly realising the implications.

So leaving home, with child in tow, to a rent accomodation further away from school/nursery/family etc. The partner could easily go to court and seek to be the resident parent, the court would decide in the interests of the child and now the OP could be paying child maintanance and seeing DS/DD once or twice a week.

Not the solution the OP at all wanted.