wife blocking access to kids - help needed

andydiysaver

they can be so vindictive can't they - my advice- never miss anything, document everything, evidence everything. And be the good guy - in years to come those kids will be grown ups and your conduct now will either win or lose the day. its a long game but it is worth winning it.

Mojisola

mr-s wrote: »

i separated from my wife last year and she has now decided that i can no longer see the kids. i have been paying full maintenance and seeing the kids a few times a week but she has now decided that she doesn't want me seeing the children any more

wouldthisbeodd wrote: »

But to see it from her point of view, she still won't get a proper break, the children come back every night, she still has to be available to put them to bed and get get them up. I don't agree with her stopping contact but can see where she's coming from with overnight stays.

Its not a good situation to be in and ultimately its your children who are going to loose out not seeing their dad. How old are they?

And who is creating that situation - their mother!

Whatever her issue is, it should be discussed with the children's father. Why should the kids have their 3 to 4 contacts every week with their father stopped?

pinkshoes

Can you afford to rent a property? Who is paying for the main accommodation that your kids kive in?

I'd book a hotel room once a week so you can have them stay over.

Or could they have your room, and you kip on the sofa?

mr-s_2

thanks all to the replies above, all are appreciated and cover both sides of the debate

does anyone have any experience of the legal process, pros/cons?

shoe*diva79

Legal process wise.... you can apply for a contact order yourself. You dont need a solicitor to do this. It costs £200 (may have gone up slightly in April)

But be warned, having been through it myself, the judge told my ex that the minimum he would expect our daughter to have contact was every other weekend from Friday evening until Sunday evening. This is pretty standard. So you do need to sort yourself out so you can have your children overnight.

A contact order takes about 6 - 8 weeks to go through. CAFCASS will speak to both you and your ex and maybe the children depending on their ages. You will both get your say and CAFCASS will do their report and give to the court prior to your hearing. You both then attend the hearing and the contact order will either be set there and then or an interim order may be given meaning you will then have to go back to court at a later date.

GwylimT

As a parent I would say the first you need to get somewhere your children can visit properly, how would you feel if mum and the children lived in a room in a shared property?

If you are serious about raising your children you need to show this by providing them with a home.

As others have said a contact order is a good place to start, it also benefits both parties receiving an outside view.

Talk to your partner, ask what her concerns are and then show her the steps you are taking to settle these concerns.

duchy

When you say you want continued access do you mean that you have set days you see them or is there no routine to it and it may be at very short notice ?

If it is the latter a judge may feel this is disruptive to the children as well as unfair to your wife and make a contact order for set days/times. Once you go to court you'll have to accept the courts decision so it may be better as well as cheaper to try and find a compromise with your wife....like set evenings or days if you genuinely can't offer the children anywhere overnight.

Caroline_a

Unless you have a bottomless purse, try to avoid the legal route. The money you will save will get you somewhere 'proper' to live, and all hopefully will be well again.

Mojisola

mr-s wrote: »

i separated from my wife last year and she has now decided that i can no longer see the kids. (

Did you get back together after the 2010 split? Is there any chance you could work through things again?

Top_Girl

You need to find somewhere to have your children overnight.

You are as parentally responsible as she is and it's about time that you realised that and acted accordingly.

Whilst I absolutely don't agree with the way she has gone about things, I don't know how many conversations the two of you have had about the situation over the last year and I don't know how she has reacted to these interactions.

You're a dad, you need a home to have your children in, you've had long enough to arrange this.