Want my OH to have more of a social life.

sulphate

FBaby wrote: »

Indeed, I struggle to understand how as an adult, if he wanted to know more about social opportunities, he couldn't look for them himself or ask for your opinion if he needed inspiration.

I'm thanking your posts more and more often these days. :rotfl:

I don't have much of a social life. I see my friends now and again (maybe 1-2 times a month) but generally when I've finished work I want to get home and relax, not go out again. I really value my weekends where I'm at home not doing much instead of spending time with my husband and rabbits.

I'm the breadwinner also, and wouldn't be very pleased if my husband suggested that I should get out of the house more so he can have more "me time"!

Buzzybee90

I have a very limited social life in the city I live in, my family and lifelong friends live in my home area. I have 3 friends in the city I live in and those I see infrequently, I am perfectly happy as is. Maybe he is too?

Tigsteroonie

Given the responses above, OP, if you want some "me time" then perhaps it is you who should get a hobby / go out to meet friends?

Men moaning through soaps is normal. It doesn't mean they're bored, personally I suspect they get a kick out of watching something bad and then talking all the way through it :rotfl:

FBaby

I'm thanking your posts more and more often these days.

Ha ha, we must be on the same wavelengths, most don't agree at all

I have to admit that I do like to have the house to myself sometimes but if I didn't, then I would make do with closing myself in one room. I would find it very insulting if hubby was trying to get me into some clubs so he could have some peace and quiet.

Georgiegirl256

FBaby wrote: »

I would find it very insulting if hubby was trying to get me into some clubs so he could have some peace and quiet.

Yes, me too....I'd wonder what he was up to! :cool:

My hubby went through a spate of watching the soaps but now just goes upstairs to his office while they are on. If he comes down and they're still on though, he's asking 20 questions about what's happening! :rotfl:

pinkshoes

I'm a teacher and work most evenings, so also got fed up of DH watching rubbish on TV every night.

I got him to join the local weight lifting club/ gym which is quite sociable and gets him out two evenings a week.

ska_lover

Nicolefury wrote: »

Been married for 5 years, been together for 9. Husbands social circle has decreased over time. If he's not at work (and he does work hard for the four of us) he's at home.

I love him to bits but would love him to have a social life himself and so I could get some me time - fed up of him moaning through the soaps, and more importantly for him to get out a bit more.

Obviously I don't want to push him into a scenario where he's up to no good I just think he secretly misses his social life just needs a push towards something that would give him that.

Any suggestions?

Leave him be

Lily-Rose_3

I see both sides here.

I think I would be offended if my hubby wanted ME to buggar off out so he could have some 'me' time. But then, I find that men are more likely to get bored and irritable when stuck in the house, than women. As much as I love my husband, he can be like a bored child on occasions.

On occasions, he just wanders around like a lost soul, and keeps channel-hopping, sighing, wandering around, and generally not being able to occupy himself. He keeps talking over what I am watching, and mithers me when I am busy. Whereas, I occupy myself very easily, and never get bored. He doesn't act like this ALL the time BTW, but maybe one night a week.

Even when they're young, girls seem to be able to occupy themselves more than boys. Boys seem harder work. I have female friends and female relatives, and we are all in agreement that having a man around ALL the time, can be a bit frustrating sometimes. I love it when he has a night out with his mates (about once a month,) and goes out to work all day, and then goes straight out, and I don't see him til eleven pm. Makes me appreciate him more; not less.

Being together all the time, does no couple any favours anyway.

And before anyone says anything like 'why don't YOU go out?!' he doesn't want me to! He doesn't stop me and doesn't mind if I do, but he doesn't want me to go out.

So I can see where the OP is coming from.

Goldiegirl

Has he indicated that he'd like to go out more?

If not, he's probably happy as he is, and doesn't want to be told how to spend his leisure time.

I'd leave him be, and watch any soaps in another room, if his comments (which may well be done jokingly) are distracting you.

meritaten

um - he loves his home and wants to spend his leisure time there. but not watching 'soaps'. girl, every football/rugby/golf/ widow is envying you right now! are you crazy?
do you know what a 'gem' you have? my first 20 years of married life I and the kids took second place to 'rugby'. our lives revolved around it! Training on Tues and Thurs, match on Saturday - but it wasn't just 'the rugby'. 'The Lads' took precedence - so the Thurs disco had to be manned by the 'Lads', sunday was often 'Meeting Day' - compulsory attendance. and sometimes 'the lads' got together for 'more training'. and this was just a minor league club.
if you need 'me time' then take yourself off! your time is as valuable as his - do your own thing!
but I don't think you want your husband to become more sociable - I think 'YOU' want more social life.