money v quality of life?

pinkparrott

I'm trying to decide what to do with my immediate future, I have a very good well paid job - I know I am extremely lucky compared to many. However I feel I have no quality of life .
I work full time and also commute between 3-3 1\2 hours a day ,I leave the house at 7:30 work 9-6 and get home between 7:30 and 8pm.
I have a good oh and 2 kids ages 6 and 8. But I feel like most ,that I' m constantly juggling and struggling to maintain thing's like keeping on top of housework and trying to spend a bit of quality time with my kids. The only me time I get in the time in the car each day driving,
The driving is affecting my back and I'm having to see a physio twice a month.
The moneys good but to be honest it isn't making me any happier,I spoil the kids ,who are starting to act like sploilt brats, probably to compensate not bring around, and I Aldo eat and drink too much.
I want to give my job up / look for one closer to home as I probably could get one in the city near to me (30 mins train ride) but it would be at least 1\2 the pay. We could survive just would have to get back on track and cut back on frivolaties / wine etc.
Only problem is I feel irresponsible towards my kids /family and feel I should get on with it and just stick it out.
I also have some health issues that I'm trying to sort out with my doc ,which is making me more tired than usual ,so maybe things just getting on top of me a bit

Mojisola

pinkparrott wrote: »

The moneys good but to be honest it isn't making me any happier,I spoil the kids ,who are starting to act like sploilt brats, probably to compensate not bring around, and I Aldo eat and drink too much.

Only problem is I feel irresponsible towards my kids /family and feel I should get on with it and just stick it out.

I also have some health issues that I'm trying to sort out with my doc ,which is making me more tired than usual ,so maybe things just getting on top of me a bit

Which is going to be better for the kids - more time spent with a healthy parent or more "stuff"?

elsien

For me, as long as I could pay the bills and had an emergency fund, it would be quality of life every time. I'm on my own and would struggle to keep up with housework, the dog and having any sort of a life if I were out of the house for that length of time.
Spoiling the kids because you feel guilty about not spending enough time with them isn't the way to go, as you already realise.
What does your OH think - can you sit down together, plan a workable budget and see what other job options there are out there for you? I suppose the other thing to think about is (money aside) is it a job or a career? And would you be happy stepping down a level if you do enjoy your job/want to progress further?

Tiddlywinks

Time is the most precious thing in the world... not money, not gadgets etc.

Maybe you should sit down and talk it through as a family as a big change of circumstances will impact on all of you.

suki1964

From experience I'd say time

I near put myself in the ground working and commuting long hours

Then ill health forced me to stop

We moved and then hubby was working away so he/ we could maintain ' the lifestyle'


Now our marriage is dead


His kids still don't I is him



A family is more important then any wage packet. If you have a family you have the lot. Even if you have no wealth. A living family will get you by



And yes perhaps I'm a tad sentimental , it's my experience. Shoot me

teaandcakeordeath

Quality of life over money everyday. I'm the sole earner and am 8 weeks away from mat leave. My OH will be a sahd when I return to work. Money will be tight but i'd rather our child had us around than had things. My mum gave us 'things' to make up for her 70+ hour working week. I know what I'd rather have had! Your health and family are worth far more than what is in your bank account. Take care of yourself.

justme111

These decisions are to be taken with your oh, not solo. All circumstances are different so there is no blanket answer. In general it is sad state of affairs when we sell ourselves for money with which to buy alcohol to keep us selling ourselves and gadgets to children - consumerist society , wrong proorities. Career iimportant in self actualization so it is not just money. See how you can develop it without putting in so many hours. Ah , and get a cleaner. May be you could commute by train ? Don't dismiss it before you tried.

lostinrates

Is it one or the other. Does your place of work offer 60 or 80 percent work contracts? You'd be on more than fifty percent of the salary than if you swapped jobs and be working a shorter week. It would impact on career progression speed, sure, but if income is as important as career status its a potential to explore perhaps.

thorsoak

This: http://www.worddesign.biz/dalai-lama-quotes-pic

You really do know the answer to this - talk it over with your OH - and good luck to you all xx

maman

lostinrates wrote: »

Is it one or the other. Does your place of work offer 60 or 80 percent work contracts? You'd be on more than fifty percent of the salary than if you swapped jobs and be working a shorter week. It would impact on career progression speed, sure, but if income is as important as career status its a potential to explore perhaps.

On much the same tack: why not try asking for flexible working and cut your hours? Anyone can make this request now although you'd have qualified anyway because of young children. Plus you could mention your health suffering with maybe a recommendation from your GP. Far better to work shorter hours in a better paid job than full time in a poorly paid one plus it keeps your career options open for the future.

onlyroz

Would you be able to work from home for a few days a week?