money v quality of life?

ska_lover

Most people are going to say quality of life - but that is a dream for many.

Many of us dream of working less hours, or in a less stressful job - but cannot afford to quit and have responsibilities.

There have been threads on this kind of topic before, and my only thoughts are - it is only fair, if both members of the partnership are going to do work less hours etc.

I think it is highly unfair when one member of a relationship decides they want to quit work / lower their hours, therefore transferring double the stress on to their partner

System

What does your OH think?

mr_knight

I did it. Pay cut but responsibility cut too. Don't regret it for a moment. I didn't have children then but now I do I am pleased I made the move as I would never see her. I didnt have to commute but I did work at home in evenings and weekends.

FBaby

The happiest people in life are the ones who have less.

mmm, I think that is a bit of a myth. It's one thing to have just about to have a decent life and struggling to make ends meet, coping with debts and the guilt of not being able to offer things to your kids.

I think the happiest people are those who feel they are in control of their lives and have learnt to be grateful for what they have.

System

From the posts my impression is that the difficulty is more so the commute than the job. Living in a nice place has meant needing to commute further.

The two variables are either find a new job or home. Since home move is out of the question and job move isn't realistic due to halving salary I would think you would have to stick it out where you are.

meritaten

to me - its a no brainer - Quality of life is paramount.
You are not happy - your kids are becoming brats - time to rethink?

good_advice

FBaby wrote: »

mmm, I think that is a bit of a myth. It's one thing to have just about to have a decent life and struggling to make ends meet, coping with debts and the guilt of not being able to offer things to your kids.

I think the happiest people are those who feel they are in control of their lives and have learnt to be grateful for what they have.

A lot of people spend their entire lives chasing happiness.
Buying and collecting goods, getting into dept. by greed. this is clearly not working.

those people we envy, who think they can have it all are the ones with stress, tied all the time.Miserable.

Mattygroves2

good_advice wrote: »

The happiest people in life are the ones who have less.
Many people have lots of money, letting them go anywhare and buy anything they want.
Unfortunately these people lack time due to the long working hours to build up this wealth.
Money is useless if you do not have time to enjoy a quality of life.
No time for family, hobbies or just walking by the sea/woodlands.
it is about choice = time v freedom.

I'd disagree with this. My OH has always worked long hours in a job that (now) pays very well but he loves it. The money he earns has meant that we've had very good holidays and have had the cash to explore our (relatively expensive) hobbies. He has always found time to get involved in local organisations as well and that will increase when he retires next year.

He has been a NRP since his kids were fairly young and we haven't had any kids ourself so that has probably made if easier but he has a good relationship with both his boys and I'm sure they appreciated the bank of Dad helping with their house purchases.

So long hours (average of about 50 a week for 40 years) doesn't necessarily mean no quality of life. You just have to make the most of the time you have away from work.

gozaimasu

I don't think there is ever really a viable choice between money and quality of life. The "work to live" philosophy is a big fallacy, because you work to pay the bills that society decided you should pay before you were even born. Only very rich people will ever have the life they want.

I drive 1000 miles a month, more or less, and I'm getting sick of it. The other option is to drive 4 times that. I chose what I thought was the lesser of two evils, and got a cra ppy place to sleep during the week instead of commuting every day.

I don't understand how you people have 2-3 hour commutes each way and are not miserable. I couldn't do it - the mileage on the car, the cost of the petrol, wear & tear etc. The bottom line is, that to do my job, my quality of life either suffers from driving too far, or staying in a cra p place during the week, and still driving further than I would if I had a job nearer to "home".

I want to never work again. I will never have that. Whether or not I go through life constantly dissatisfied is a question of attitude.

I want to buy a house (the society I was born into conditioned me into wanting that). My salary will never allow me to do that, so I have to accept that my quality of life will always be s h it since I'll be at the mercy of whomever I'm renting from. The society that created a nation of homeowners has the by-product of a completely rip-off rental market.


My quality of life will always suffer due to the fact that I will spend decades of my life slaving away for someone else's agenda.

I love to moan more than your average person, but this is a result of constantly trying and failing over and over with finding a better living situation. There just isn't one. I've spent months and months looking for places to live and looking for other jobs. How many more years of misery before I actually get the life I want?

Anyway, what does society care if we're happy, as long as we're all paying our bills.

pinkparrott

Just to answer the question my oh works full time too, he has a stressful job but he loves it, also his commute is about 30 mins each way and he usually works from home 2 occasionally 3 days a week,
Its definayly the 65 mile each way commute that's killing me , as on top of the stressful job , kids , home its all just got a bit too much .
Now that I'm going to get the b12 injections, I might have a bit more energy.
I left a bit earlier today , which meant I got home just before my oh took my dd for her swimming lesson and I made the effort to go for a 30 main bike ride with my son (he's 8) and it was lovely !