Coping With Cancer

Mrs_Optimist

Thanks everyone. Strange weekend - he was so much better on Saturday and for that reason alone I couldn't stop blubbing (not in front of him obviously). I cannot fathom that he has this awful disease inside of him when he looks well.


He says that chemo round 2 will be the one to make his hair fall out - dreading that - but once that is out of the way it will be another MRI to see if it is effective treatment or not worth bothering with chemo 3.


It helps enormously that those who have suffered/suffering with cancer have posted from their viewpoint as it is difficult to put yourself in someone's shoes and understand where they are coming from when you don't have first hand knowledge of the situation. (Thank god I don't)


It also helps to know that I am not alone in anxiety about contracting a terminal illness - so thank you everyone for posting.


I just wish I could stop "thinking" and just "be". Hope that makes sense?




I sincerely hope that this thread continues so that it may help someone else going through the same nightmare x

DUKE

When I visited my parents when my Dad had cancer I'd say a lovely bright hello to everyone then I'd go straight to the bathroom, turn the taps on full & scrub the bath whilst sobbing my heart out. Everyone wanted it to be over so our Dad didn't suffer, but I selfishly wanted him to live forever as I could never imagine life without him. Strangely enough I felt so at peace when he died. I think it's the thought of waiting for someone to die that's so hard to cope with.

This may sound strange but I loved it when my hair fell out, I'd had too many bad hair days to care. I thought that was the least of my worries compared to being diagnosed. Although I understand that not everyone feels the same. Some people used to allow me to go first in the queue, I wasn't sure whether to be glad or sad so I just took advantage in the end. Plus it's quite fashionable to have the head shaved for men.

Mayflower10cat

I'm very sorry to hear about your poor FiL. And how painful you're finding it trying to cope with his diagnosis. Not wanting to upset you, but has the GP mentioned help/support from your local Hospice?


A close friend endured chemo and radiotherapy recently, her cancer had a very poor prognosis from the outset. At the point where her oncologist gave her the grim news 'your blood results are simply not good enough for us to contemplate more Chemo.....' he also said, (and she found this terribly upsetting at the time) 'I will refer you to our local hospice who will be in touch with you about your further treatment....' However, as she said herself, after the initial shock;- the Hospice were just marvellous and her MacMillan Nurse was a star. She received further palliative treatment at the Hospice, in beautiful surroundings with cheerful, kindly staff who were gentle, dedicated and sensitive. Her husband and her children could talk to the staff and to her Macmillan nurse about anything. And her nurse made sure she was pain free, comfortable and at the very end, at home with her husband sitting looking at the garden.


Please ask about your Hospice and ongoing palliative care - I'm guessing for most people, their main fear is that the disease will be very painful. But it can be managed.


I wish you all strength to cope.

Mrs_Optimist

Just thought I would post an update.


FIL has been told the cancer has not spread so further beyond lungs to any other organ and so further chemo is an option. He has second chemo today, then a scan to see if it is helping shrink the tumours in the lungs. He will never be cured and the prognosis is still terminal, but if he can get an extra year or two, whilst he feels well, that is a massive plus. He remains at Stage 3.


I sat with him for a while whilst he was having chemo and we had a good chat about his illness, his Will etc (he instigated the conversation not me - I just took his lead). We were laughing so much we were told off by the nurse for making too much noise which he was peeved about, as he said to the nurse "I know there are ill people in here - I am one of them!". I got his view about the vibe of being a dead man walking when in the oncology department, but I do believe laughter goes a long way to assisting with your mental well being, which is just as important as your physical wellbeing.


Anyway feeling upbeat today, but next hurdle is the scan to see if chemo is effective- that will be in a few weeks.....