New Mums - stay at home or back to work?

Rummer

I have quite an age gap between my children and after my first I returned to work when she was 4 months as I hated being at home and wanted to build my career. Now however I am on maternity leave and as much as I love my job if I had the money I would choose to be at home with my children.

However I aside from money I think the decision needs to rest mainly with the parent who will be at home. Being at home is not for everyone and it is a very personal decision.

gearfreak

I've just started back at work last week (start of July) and have gone back 4 days, but trying to increase to 5 for the money. I was quite lucky that I was able to have 13 months off on maternity using annual leave aswell.

Found it really hard though as I've already missed out on alot with my LG just in 1.5 weeks! She goes to a nursery for 2 days and then 2 days with either my partner or his parents depending on if hes working or not. She enjoys both when she is there, just screams when she gets left :0( Hopefully it will get easier for her.

If I could have afforded it I would have gone back on 2/3 days a week or not at all, but I'm the main breadwinner and without my salary we couldnt afford to pay the mortgage :0(

What I would say is that in the 1.5/2 weeks i've been back at work, I feel that the really strong bond that I had with my LG has definitly got weaker and she doesnt seem to want as many cuddles etc as she used to.

Although the good news is I'll be off on maternity again in November, so I've only got 4 months back at work, and again I'll try and be off for another 12 months.

I think its hard whatever you decide to do, but good luck :0)

Somra

hope to come back to work when the child is 2

DFWannaBee

I'm hoping to return part time (3 days a week) purely down to financial reasons. We could manage on the one wage but we really need to buy a house and get a new car at some point before we have another baby so needs must

liney

I went back 0.5 when my son was 6 months ( as was end of maternity then) and then increased to 4 days when he went to school.

Even when he was at school I found that extra day off meant we could devote our time to fun family things at the weekend.

onlyroz

Remember that it doesn't always have to be mum who stays at home with the baby

GwylimT

When our two were both six weeks old my wife went back to work full time, however due to her job full time is actually only three days a week, at that time I was working part time so we very rarely needed any childcare, she was working Monday to Wednesday and I was working Thursday to Friday, I went back to work full time when our youngest was 14 months.

flutterby_lil

I could never go back to work full time with little children. After my son (I was a single parent, he has just turned 6) I went back 2 days a week as I needed the adult stimulation, it was all baby groups, baby talk and I needed more. My daughter has just turned 2 and even after having a year off on maternity leave I still didn't want to go back. I did, for 4 days a week but hated not being there to pick my son up and take to school 4/5 days so I got a new job working 9:30 - 2pm. I never felt guilty about my daughter being at nursery as she loved it, was more guilty for the 6 year old as whilst on mat leave I had got used to being there for him in a morning at school and also after school.

I am starting Uni in September so all will change again, but I am only there 3 days and his dad will take him and his sister to school/nursery and I can pick up but still get 2 days to take so its swings and roundabouts I guess.

Suppose what I am trying to say is that everyone is different and circumstances for every family means some go back to work and some don't.

Do what feels right.

CathyP72

I was lucky in that my partner's income is enough for me to stay at home. I wouldn't have wanted to miss a single minute of that blissful first year.

Kaye1

I stay at home- we just didn't want to have children and give them to someone else. That said, it isn't easy- we have old cars, are very thrifty, go to lots of free places such as libraries, museums etc. I rarely (never) buy things for myself- I make do with what I have got.


It is an interesting problem- I have a friend who is VERY well paid, with a massive house, land etc and all she wants to do is be at home. She is envious of the things I get to do- making chutneys, homemade cards, growing our own food- but can't see that it is because we need to save every penny. (I have told her this!) I look at her massive house and think 'oh wouldn't that be nice!'


As for my job- this is my job for now. Naïve maybe but I wouldn't change it for the world. When they are both at school, I'll pop my head back into the world of work- maybe I'll have a nasty surprise but we will look at that when the time comes.