Saying goodbye to a friend

purpleshoes_2

top_drawer wrote: »

The local library here only opens on restricted opening hours (10-4pm / 10-3pm), nothing in the evening anymore.

I know people who hold a book club in a local pub, certainly doesnt need to be in a library.

top_drawer_2

purpleshoes wrote: »

I know people who hold a book club in a local pub, certainly doesnt need to be in a library.

I used to attend a writing group here (I love writing!) but that collapsed due to a lack of a venue - no library in the evening / participants work and don't want to meet in the day / no cafe was willing to open with a guaranteed high sales to make it worthwhile and pubs round here tend to be on the rough side.

After some palava we found a community centre willing to open but the Steward kept forgetting / neglecting to unlock the doors for us and eventually the group resorted to meeting back in a pub. It petered out in the winter and there is an ongoing email debate discussing an alternative venue.

jaylee3

purpleshoes wrote: »

I know people who hold a book club in a local pub, certainly doesnt need to be in a library.

Yeah, in fact the 3 book clubs and a writing group that I know of are all NOT in libraries. It seems odd that they would be actually, as many people are only able to attend of a evening.

jaylee3

Eastie77 wrote: »

I was friends with a group of girls from the age of about 15 who still live very close to me. Around five years ago two of them (the two I was closest to in the group) stopped communicating with me. Genuinely have no idea why. I called, sent text messages, e-mails etc about meeting up and was met with silence or a series of cancelled meet-ups with barely credible excuses. I just let it go. We hadn't fallen out or anything, I think they just moved on.

When I had my baby last year they both separately got in touch after years of silence and left lovely messages on Facebook congratulating me and suggesting we meet up. I replied saying it was lovely to hear from them and suggested times/places to meet but both failed to respond. They still occasionally send me messages asking after me and the little one but it is clear to me that they just want to keep it at that and not actually see me. One still ends her messages with “we have to meet up soon, it’s been ages..” but I know it’s lip service. I reply with a friendly, breezy message and we keep it at that.

Urgh, sorry but this kind of 'friend' really p1sses me off! Just getting in touch when it suits THEM, and then stopping contact when it suits THEM!

I have had a few like this in the past. We were friends for X amount of years, and they moved away, or we both moved away from where we both lived, and despite me trying time and again, to maintain contact, their letters and emails got less and less frequent. I would write, and it went from 3-4 weeks before they replied, to 4-5 months, and everything I had said in my letter was irrelevant by the time they responded.

So eventually, I would stop writing, and I moved on, and then out of the blue, I would suddenly get a letter or email saying 'haven't heard from you for ages,' expecting me to go back to regular contact when 'they' were the ones that made it fizzle out!

I did actually go back to maintaining contact with them though, and then they did it again! I gave each pal several chances, and then it was a case of 'three strikes and you're out.' So when they tried contact a FOURTH time, (after losing contact three times,) I stopped responding. It really annoyed me, especially as they only usually got back in touch if they had something to brag about, like a new home, new car, new fella. Then once they'd done bragging, the contact ceased once more!

Like I said, these kind of fair-weather 'friends,' I can do without.

purpleshoes_2

top_drawer wrote: »

I used to attend a writing group here (I love writing!) but that collapsed due to a lack of a venue - no library in the evening / participants work and don't want to meet in the day / no cafe was willing to open with a guaranteed high sales to make it worthwhile and pubs round here tend to be on the rough side.

After some palava we found a community centre willing to open but the Steward kept forgetting / neglecting to unlock the doors for us and eventually the group resorted to meeting back in a pub. It petered out in the winter and there is an ongoing email debate discussing an alternative venue.

Sunday afternoon maybe? Do you have a wetherspoons anywhere near you, they are generally good about reserving space.

top_drawer_2

Hello

Just thought I would pop back. Thank you for all the advice, you were so right. I sent the card and received a thank you for the though type message but haven't heard anything further, still no idea where the job in question actually is. She has been removed from the book group email list so I'm guessing there has been a message I've been "missed" from. Never mind, she was by no means perfect and my life is moving on a little so onwards and upwards.