Money Moral Dilemma: Should my housemate's boyfriend pay towards our bills?

minicooper272

It doesn't really sound like you're the one out of pocket so much in this situation, as the extra the boyfriend uses is probably balanced by the time that your other housemate doesn't spend there.

In my opinion this is a situation where you need to hope they offer to pay more, because asking can be tricky. You can possibly prompt it by letting them know you've been looking at money saving ideas, as the last bill has left you quite short.

£80 sounds like a really large amount extra though, and I doubt it can all be attributed to him. If my bf was at mine, he'd have his laptop plugged in and use the shower but that was the only 'extra'. Our cooking was combined, same number of lights on for one person as for two, the TV was on just the same...

daytona0

Ah the joys o student houses!

1. Tell the guy he isn't welcome anymore

2. Politely ask 4 a higher contribution from them both... Also, I would suggest partially refunding the housemate who isn't there all the time to make things fair

3. Leave it alone and just suck it up, the cost split up is cheap.


The problem is that you'e not being fair to the housemate who isn't there are you? In one respect you are being selfish here by tying to get more money from the bf because I don't think you'd reimburse the other housemate (because you'd end up paying the same amount anyway)

duchy

I work from home and I know when my boyfriend first suggested I sometimes work from his he found it a bit intrusive having to work around me. In a shared house it would be a right pain in the butt.

I do think it is one thing having partners around at social times - and something else entirely if they are working -and perhaps he could go home to work. If you are all expected to be silent whilst he is on a work call etc then it might be a better way to approach it (or just make so much noise that he can't work from there )

[Deleted User]

Remember years ago when I was a student.

Two of us were leaving (graduating) but the other three were staying next year. So I got the meter read on the last day, transferred name over to one of the fellas that was staying.

Told him when the bill came, let me and the other guy leaving now and we'd pay our share. Then that was it.

I chased him a few times but he never phoned me back.

You can guess. They went back in September for college. No-one had bothered to sort out the previous bill and they'd been cut off.

Cheeky sods then wanted me to not only pay my share of the previous bill (fair enough) but wanted me to pay a share of the charge for getting them reconnected.

I pointed out I'd sorted everything out and the day I left it was their responsibilty.

LEts just say it didnt happen.

MerryLittleGoat

Leave things just as they are. You like the girl, her boyfriend is nice and everybody gets on. This is worth far more than a few pounds here and there.

PLUS>>> The boyfriend is effectively house sitting and providing a deterrent to any would-be burglars whilst he's at home and you're not. You should be paying HIM, but he's doing it all for free! Plus he's nice. Bonus!

gloriouslyhappy

As others have said, I think the electricity bill needs to be looked at more closely. £80 extra is a huge jump, how about investing in one of those gadgets that shows you when and on what the power is being used? That way you can monitor the usage pretty closely, and see where you can save. And, if it turns out it is the boyfriend (unlikely, really) then you'll have the evidence you need to ask for a contribution.
Otherwise, think about where you yourself can cut back - lots of items on constant standby? listening to the radio on television? very energy-expensive - and leave well alone.

gloriouslyhappy

There was a thread on MSE a few years ago about energy monitors, and see the latest updates here:

http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/deals/free-cheap-energy-monitors

phillw

They should already have offered, but a gentle discussion about rising bills could help. If it doesn't then you either need to accept you're going to subsidise them, move out, make it difficult for him to work there or split them up. Your choice has to be based on your personality type.

But most importantly you need the facts about every bill, because they might use more electricity but you might use more gas or water. For rent, standing charges etc then those should always be split equally as you are paying for the ability to use them when you want. If he's a permanent resident then paying a share of the rent and standing charges is appropriate. Agreeing a day/night rate for house guests that goes into a shared pot might be your way forward.

WastingMyTime

Yes, you should say something because you feel that it is affecting you but the discussion should be with the girlfriend not the boyfriend.

Between the two of you, you need to discuss how each of you will take the financial responsibility of any long-term guests/boyfriends. Don't forget to discuss what will happen if either one of you takes a certain duration away from the house.