Money Moral Dilemma: Should my housemate's boyfriend pay towards our bills?

dickavis

If your bills are going up, then I assume that his are going down, making him and his housemates (if he has any) better off. If this is a long-term relationship you could be seriously out of pocket after a while. This site is all about saving money, and it sounds like this guy is either consciously or unconsciously using a method to save him money that studends having been using for years. I'm curious to know whether MSE has ever recommended using other people's electricity as a money saving idea, it's genius. Bye for now, I'm just popping round to my neighbour to watch their TV for an hour while I charge my phone at the same time. I might even make maself a cuppa and cook ma dinner while I'm there.

passau91

He should definitely pay - in fact, if he really was such a nice guy, he should have offered something straight away, especially if he's earning money! Although it's a fair while ago now, I remember such dilemmas at university very well, and although it might be daunting, it's better to clear the air in a calm and friendly manner than to allow things to fester unsaid...

Cimscate

Is the £80 extra a direct result of more power being used or just a general increase in prices? I can't really see how 1 person could be making that much difference to the electricity consumption unless he is running heating etc when you wouldn't normally have it on.....


So unless you can directly relate the increase to something he is doing then I'd say let it go or risk losing your flatmates altogether.

19lottie82

rachiibell wrote: »

I'm afraid you just have to suck it up and deal with it. Unless you set specific rules about boys staying over when you first moved in you can't just bring it up now. I'm assuming he has his own place and still has to pay rent and bills there. If not then it obviously isn't fair.

When I was at uni my boyfriend at the time would spend more nights at mine than he did at his but his housemates didn't let him off his share of the bills and it isn't very nice to make someone pay twice. Plus if you do bring it up prepare for your friend to fall out with you, move into her boyfriends permanently and stop contributing to any bills.

Sorry but I don't agree with this one bit.

Why should the OP and her other flatmate have to pay extra for the other girls BF to stay and use their flat as an office?

It's not fair that they have to pay when he gets to stay for free, let alone subsidise him!

Maybe he does have his own flat, but tbh that's not the OP's problem. If the FM was spending equal nights at hid place that would balance things out, but it doesn't sound like that is the case.

There's a big difference between having a boyfriend to stay a night or two a week, and them moving in part time.

pablakeman

I have just left my student house for the last time! We had £100 extra on our electricity bill in January. I spent all day, every day at uni (week days, weekends I worked) whereas 2 of my 3 other housemates sat on their b**ksides all day and watched telly! I paid my share and said that if it happened again I wouldn't be contributing. Fortunately it didn't happen again.

I think it depends on your own personal financial situation. If you are struggling (which I was, due to moving to Scotland for a grad job), then bring it up. However, if realistically you can afford it just accept that this is part of student living. Also try and thinking what the bf uses extra? Is it not likely just to be a phone/laptop being charged? I don't know the ins and outs of the situation but it is probably worth just paying it and not causing an issue.

Just wait till he starts using up all the milk...

pablakeman

Just reread post and he works from home! So actually, yes he should pay something, but it isn't that simple. Approach the friend (without him) and ask if would mind contributing a set amount. Not a high amount, just something to cover the minimal extra usage etc...

The most important thing is not to fall out over it though. By the sounds of it he isn't trying to get away with anything and I am surprised he hasn't offered. For all you know, he may have said to his girlfriend "can I contribute" and she being nice has said "oh no don't worry about it , its fine" etc... If I was in that situation, I would approach my girlfriend and not the housemates. However, if I was staying there a lot I would also make sure to replenish bread, milk etc... and make it clear to everyone they can use it!

selement

It's a tricky one. I had a similar situation at uni where my boyfriend stayed over a lot and my housemates wanted him to contribute but I strongly disagreed with this. His housemates made him top up the meter despite him rarely being there so not fair to pay twice. My argument was also that he wasn't really using any extra energy, I would stay in on my computer a lot and he was never there without me for long. In your circumstance if hes working from home whilst his gf is out tjat does sound like a bit of extra energy consumption. Maybe suggest to the gf he could go home to work instead or else just a tiny contribution (not an equal split his additional expenditure is still less)

sulphate

19lottie82 wrote: »

Sorry but I don't agree with this one bit.

Why should the OP and her other flatmate have to pay extra for the other girls BF to stay and use their flat as an office?

It's not fair that they have to pay when he gets to stay for free, let alone subsidise him!

Maybe he does have his own flat, but tbh that's not the OP's problem. If the FM was spending equal nights at hid place that would balance things out, but it doesn't sound like that is the case.

There's a big difference between having a boyfriend to stay a night or two a week, and them moving in part time.

I totally agree.

When I shared a house one of my housemates had her boyfriend stay for about 4 months, her boyfriend was earning at the time (we were students) and thought it was sufficient that he was contributing maybe £50 a month to live there and neither of them thought it was a problem because they stayed in the same room.

Boyfriend needs to stay maximum 2 nights a week, any more than that and the other flatmates should be having a word with the girlfriend to say that unless she goes over there for a similar amount of time, he needs to start contributing to bills.

It's particularly unfair if the rest of them are students and he is earning.

£80 is a lot extra if that's solely down to him working there, why should the others be subsidizing this?

duchy

Why would a boyfriend be there when their GF isn't ?
If they work from home -then "home" is the operative word. No doubt they are claiming the usual tax allowances for working from home anyway so even less reason to subsidize them.

nczm

Personally I wouldn't ask the friend to get her bf to contribute. Gather your house mates together and say that you are really concerned that your bills went up by £80 this month as long term it isn't something you can afford so can you all sit down together and work out what to cut back on to save the money (turn the heating down etc), if she's a nice honest girl she'll mention her bf costs and try and restrain him.
Ideally if you could switch to a pre paid card for your electric that would be the better option that way if he's about using it up he'll have to go top it up!