Money Moral Dilemma: Should my housemate's boyfriend pay towards our bills?

meknowalot-51

You could say something,but be prepared,as the flatmate who is hardly ever there could validly say she should,for obviouse reasons,pay a reduced rate to the rest of you.All this could quite easily become very complicated if you all start assuming who uses the most electricity.How do you know he is the one using the extra elec?As you've already said,your flatmate is there all the time.Just because her boyfriend is there at weekends it doesn't mean the t.v.,lights or computer uses double the amount.Ask your flatmate who is at home all week if she's reading books or most likely watching t.v. or on the computer.Don' be too hasty in your assumptions,the flatmate who's hardly ever there could decide to move.

babushkava

I would definitely recommend speaking up if you feel miffed about this issue, because resentment is uncomfortable and it would probably show in your voice or manner with him.
What about saying to your flatmate, " whew, that electricity bill was bigger than we expected. Do you think [name of her boyfriend] would like to chip in? I think ten pounds would be good."
That way you would be conversational and reasonable-sounding and I think she would either agree to speak to him about it, or just say, no, I don't think he would. But I doubt the chat would get heated.

Talent

Difficult one this.... I think you need to keep the peace. Without pointing a finger or casting aspersions you need to mention the £80 increase generally and ask what could be the reason for it.
A lesson to future house sharers, lay down some ground rules. Anyone staying over should contribute at least a fiver per night into the pot, assuming they are going to eat drink and be.... whatever!

sclare

are you also prepared to pay a bigger share of the housemates bill that is seldom there?

That. You're getting away with paying less than your share at the moment. You'll open up a can of worms if the subject of who pays what proportion of the bills comes up. Let it go.

DaftyDuck

So, are you gonna give a refund to the "girl who's hardly ever here" at the same time? I'm thinking 3 + 1 - 1 is still 3, so if you charge him and refund her, you'll still be paying the same....

Augustus_the_Strong

If she's your good friend and he's such a nice guy, why can't you say something like, 'we really like having you here, that's no problem, but it is pushing the bills up a bit, and maybe you wouldn't mind chipping in occasionally?' At least he would be aware. But keep it nice.

JeremyCH

Always difficult this one - I feel it's a bit swings and roundabouts. One the one hand you have a house mate who is paying in but not there often, on the other an extra guest who is there for 2 or 3 days a week - my feeling is that it balances out. My youngest son had similar problems in his fisrt houes - one left all the lights one and never claened up, the others were creful and it caused a lot of probelms. There will always be those who contribute more than others and is it worth busting up a realtionship over this. I see several people have suggested maybe asking the girlfiend about it and this seems sensible if you decide to follow this up but unless his stays increase so that he is there more than he isn't then I would tend to let spleeping dogs lie

CountryGoose

How much extra power is this BF using? I can't see an additional laptop or phone charger run to more than £5.

It's like going out for a meal with friends - you can split the bill between you or reach for the calculators. I know which I would prefer.

Primrose

If he,s running up heating bills during the day when the house would otherwise be unoccupied so you can directly attribute the increased bill to him, could you tactfully suggest to your girlfriend that he wears some thicker clothes suring to help keep the bill under more control. Hopefully either she or he will then take a hint and hopefully contribute something towards the fuel bill without it having to become a major issue.

rach_k

Perhaps you could suggest to the girl with the BF that her BF could make a contribution to the girl who isn't there very often, as he is probably using part of her share of the electricity etc. Make it clear that the other girl hasn't said anything but you think it would be fair if he contributed. That means you're not asking for money for yourself so it's less likely to be taken badly.