Carers allowance

FBaby

I can understand how you can mutually support each other in some instances, like yours, but could you say that you would also be able to care properly for a 14 yo together with the support needs you both have?

sunnyone

FBaby wrote: »

I can understand how you can mutually support each other in some instances, like yours, but could you say that you would also be able to care properly for a 14 yo together with the support needs you both have?

Our youngest is just gone 18 and we have always managed to care for him properly, many people think that we spoil him (and we most probably do over compensate him because we feel so gulity for being disabled parents).

We pay for the outside care/other help that we both need and that allows us to choose the help we need so that we can make sure that we can always parent our child properly without our needs getting in the way.

"Luckily" my husband only became disabled @ five years ago, I have been disabled all my son's life and I chose to have him knowing that I would be a disabled mother and knowing that my condition would get worse over time but being disabled isnt the end of the world and we have brought up two good, well behaved, respectfull kids that are both doing really well. Neither of my kids have ever congrigated outsifde a shop or hung around street corners or caused us any trouble in anyone, our daughter was 3 1/2 when I became disabled.

Niether of our kids have ever been forced to be child carers either, its a disagrace that children have to care for their parents in the worlds sixth wealthiest country but it happens all over the country and we didnt have kids to care for us. My daughter did choose to care for me once during a short period of convalesing post major surgery, she was 18 and she wanted a summer job but couldnt find one so she offered to be my carer (on full decent wages, not the micky mouse 18 year old minimum wage, she was doing the same job as an older person would so she got the same wage)) and it worked out well. I am having major surger again this month and as its in the uni holidays my daughter has offered to fill the breech again, she would be part time carer to back up my long term (fully hospital based trained carer) who is also my childhood best friend that I employ to care for me year round.

FBaby

sunnyone, I just want to be clear that my post was not about the ability of disabled people to look after their children. I don't doubt that this is possible in many circumstances and with outside help. In your situation, you care needs are different and I can see how in some cases, one can compensate the other.

However, OP stated that her FIL can't look after himself let alone someone else, and MIL seems to be suffering from the same issues. I question how they can look after two teenagers when they are incapable at looking after themselves and their partner, especially children who clearly will need extra attention.

jetplane

FBaby wrote: »

The legal loopholes are really baffling me! Hoe can two people be so poorly they require 70 hours of care between them yet be deemed fit enough to look after a 14 yo who doesn't do much around the house?

Is your question actually about doubting that the in-laws need 70 hours care? Or are you truly baffled at how anyone so infirm, as to require such high levels of care, can look after a child? While I am sure you did not intend to offend any parents, you already know that needing care for yourself does not render you unfit to look after children. There are many children being brought up by disabled, infirm or poorly parents, many without the help and resources that they need.

FBaby wrote: »

sunnyone, I just want to be clear that my post was not about the ability of disabled people to look after their children. I don't doubt that this is possible in many circumstances and with outside help. In your situation, you care needs are different and I can see how in some cases, one can compensate the other.

However, OP stated that her FIL can't look after himself let alone someone else, and MIL seems to be suffering from the same issues. I question how they can look after two teenagers when they are incapable at looking after themselves and their partner, especially children who clearly will need extra attention.

You have really answered your own question, in the OP's situation the very reason that the children are able to live there may be because of the huge amount of help that the in-laws receive. In addition to sunnyones situation, what about two parents with learning disabilities, two parents who are blind or deaf, two parents with cerebal palsy?

HB58

Murtle, no-one expects you to cook for your in-laws and leave the 'kids' to fend for themselves. The point being made is that carer's allowance is to pay for personal care being given to the claimant of AA, time spent looking after others is not counted.