What To Do

melanzana

Anon-i-Mouse wrote: »

Maybe "wake" isn't the right word, when I mention the word "wake" I'm meaning the reception after the funeral where people attending the funeral are welcomed back for buffet food and tea/coffee.

Sorry for any confusion.

Well in my world, the reception after the funeral is the thing, and when it's over, that's it.

Over here, funeral is usually at eleven or twelve oc. Then back to reception for lunch and a few drinks. That can last into the afternoon evening, but it's what we do.

Only immediate (close) family back to house after that.

What time do you think the funeral might be? And I know it's a sensitive subject since your dad is still with you.

Later the better Id say, then when wake is over, all go home to respective houses.

You need to say this. And obviously point out that you are grieving and tired etc.

How anyone would not see that though, is a bit unsettling.

It's not about them at that stage is it?

There would be no question of anyone other than the immediate and close family going back to a house after having a post funeral reception here. Out of respect for the family aswell.

It may be a different tradition here, but the post funeral reception is where everyone laughs, cries, and remembers together.

And at the pre funeral wake too,

You'd be exhausted after an Irish funeral!

Just trying to lighten the load for you OP, not insensitive.

My best wishes.

Brenny

As people go, standing with your sister as per previous suggestion and saying...."Thank you for coming and I hope it's not such a sad occasion next time we meet".

If anyone presses to go back just a simple "I'm sorry but I really don't feel up to having visitors at the moment." You could add "Maybe another time" to soften it. If anyone still pressed the point then they are definitely NOT people you want back!