20 months grandson does not like his nan

loulou41

My 20 months grandson does not like me, he prefers his granddad, will not come to me for a cuddle but will run to his granddad. When he comes to visit he runs past me and straight to the toy box. He was doing it at a much younger age. He seems to be holding a grudge when I say no to him when he was much younger and has not forgotten it. He will come to me if there is nobody else around. He also prefers his daddy to his mummy. He seems to prefer men to women. Is this behaviour normal? Thanks

hieveryone

Yes, little children go through phases like this where they prefer either the same-sex parent or the opposite sex parent. There's lots of theories behind it, but that's the basics.

Let grandad enjoy his special time and know that yours will come around again soon

victory

loulou41 wrote: »

My 20 months grandson does not like me, he prefers his granddad, will not come to me for a cuddle but will run to his granddad. When he comes to visit he runs past me and straight to the toy box. He was doing it at a much younger age. He seems to be holding a grudge when I say no to him when he was much younger and has not forgotten it. He will come to me if there is nobody else around. He also prefers his daddy to his mummy. He seems to prefer men to women. Is this behaviour normal? Thanks

Yes it is

Northern78

I wouldn't take it personally, kids at that age don't hold grudges. My DS always go to grandad first but that's cos he can wrap grandad round his finger and whilst nannan is busy cooking his tea or tidying grandad plays with him.

He'll soon start showing more interest in you. X

sacha28

Goodness me that could've been writing about my ds a few months back!!

My lb is 27 months old and, up until the past month or so, seemed to have taken a dislike to his nanny and it was all about granddad. Even when she picked him up from nursery (although not very often it has to be said) he would run away screaming and crying saying he didn't want to go. Needless to say my MIL was mortified and came to dread picking him up!!

He is totally the opposite with her now, I even have to ring her so he can say goodnight to her before he goes to bed. Nothing changed, she has always been the same with hi, he just kind of snapped out of it.

Oh and he is totally a mummy's boy

Person_one

Definitely stop believing that a 20 month old is holding grudges from the past! That's just not how their minds work.

looby1975

totally normal. When my son was little he had no time for his grandad and only had eyes for his gran, then when he was about 3 it was the other way round, it swapped and changed until he was about 5 when he seemed to realised that both of his grandparents were fantastic and both loved him to bits.

Try not to stress about it, he'll come round as long as you are consistent in showing him love even if he doesn't reciprocate right now.

Hermia

loulou41 wrote: »

My 20 months grandson does not like me, he prefers his granddad, will not come to me for a cuddle but will run to his granddad. When he comes to visit he runs past me and straight to the toy box. He was doing it at a much younger age. He seems to be holding a grudge when I say no to him when he was much younger and has not forgotten it. He will come to me if there is nobody else around. He also prefers his daddy to his mummy. He seems to prefer men to women. Is this behaviour normal? Thanks

I don't think a 20 months old child's brain works like that! I think it is normal. My little cousin hated several members of our family when he was little and would scream blue murder if he was within a few feet of them. It lasted about a year and then he was fine. He is hugely embarrassed when we tell him about it now!

meritaten

loulou41 wrote: »

My 20 months grandson does not like me, he prefers his granddad, will not come to me for a cuddle but will run to his granddad. When he comes to visit he runs past me and straight to the toy box. He was doing it at a much younger age. He seems to be holding a grudge when I say no to him when he was much younger and has not forgotten it. He will come to me if there is nobody else around. He also prefers his daddy to his mummy. He seems to prefer men to women. Is this behaviour normal? Thanks

oh wow does this sound familiar! my first grandchild (a boy) adored his 'Gar'. ignored me totally, until he was about 4 or 5, then discovered I was the provider of snacks, drinks and meals (just joking). he is sixteen now and still chooses to come over for a 'sleepover' now and again because, in his words 'nan is fun and she lets me watch DAVE all day'!
don't worry hun - he is just at the age where they do prefer males (and my granddaughters were like this as toddlers too).
you WILL forge your own relationship with him - just be yourself and he will appreciate for you for your own qualities.

auntyrara

I had a similar problem with my nephew. I looked after him with my mum and he wouldn't come to me and wanted my mum all the time. I would say no to something, he would then go to my mum and she would say yes. We decided that we needed to back each other up and if I said no she couldn't overturn it.
I also started ignoring him a bit, as my chasing after him and trying to play with him wasn't working. When I stopped chasing him he would then come to me to interact.
Maybe you need to let him come to you and make sure you're not the bad guy who always says no, and your husband backs you up.

skattykatty

yes...it's normal. be careful not to place adult ways of thinking on a little one...my nephew was the same...just let him come to you in his own time...