Problems with my almost 4 year old little girl

Nicki

AlisonW wrote: »

Re the parenting classes. I suspect it was not so much the classes sugestion which has caused the outcry, as the insinuation that seems to be contained in the sentence following it.

''my advice? ring your HV and find out about some local parenting classes. you need to learn how to handle a normal child and deal with your own issues.''

Ax

Oh, I agree. The tone of the post was obnoxious. I just didn't want everyone to throw the baby out with the bathwater, and for BB to completely discount the idea just because it was presented in such a negative way, as I think the experience can be quite positive in the right circumstances.

arthur_dent_2

Bettyboop wrote: »

For those who want to know I have phoned and left a message for my health visitor but she is on holiday for 2 weeks. DS had a big scream when I fetched her today because she was tired. That made me really sad as I had missed her all day. Yes, I know some of her behaviour is normal but surely this shouldn't be a continous everyday episode!

It really is normal. I get it all the time and you are right tiredness does play a big part. Our preschool breaks up at the end of the week, if yours is the same she will get more sleep and there will be more you and her time.

Lozzle23

I have the utmost sympathy with all u posters. My "DS" (4) is being very badly behaved at the moment aswell. His latest trick is to unplug the phone from the socket when I'm talking to someone.Either that or he turns off the electricity completely. When he's not doing that he's throwing things at me, pushing me down the stairs and wrecking the house. I feel as though I've completely lost control. His Dad's in the Navy and is away at the moment so he doesn't have a strong male influence apart from when he sees my Dad at the weekends sometimes. I feel bad shouting at him all the time but I get so stressed out sometimes.I'm trying to clamp down before he goes to school in September but it's so hard.
I don't mean to hijack the post I just wanted to get my point across that I really do sympathise with everyone who is having problems with their darling monsters,I mean kids!! :rotfl:

Savvy_Sue

I know mine are a lot older now, but I really do feel that it's worth talking to a 4 year old when they are NOT completely manic / tired / unspeakable, and TELLING them what is unacceptable. I know mine are perhaps more 'rational' than others (think 'pedantry as an art form'!) but for Lozzle, it really does sound like an attention seeking thing. Which is understandable, his dad's not around all the time, so your son probably feels he's missing out and possibly quite insecure, which isn't your fault, because you're missing his dad too!

But while you can't tell a baby that We Don't Scream When We Don't Get Our Own Way and expect a result, you CAN tell a 4 yo that We Don't Unplug The Phone While Mummy Is Talking. And you can also tell him that Mummy will finish talking faster if we don't hit her, interrupt her, turn off the electricity or otherwise distract her. Oh, and would a cordless phone help? If you had the base station plugged in somewhere he couldn't access, you could use one of the extra handsets with impunity! Or if you can find a particular activity or toy which he ONLY has when you're on the phone, that can work too. Or set a timer - five minutes is a long time at that age - but say that when it goes off you'll come off the phone and read a book / get a drink for him / get the playdoh out or whatever. And while I'm not a huge fan of letting little children talk on the phone to complete strangers, if that's what it takes to have a conversation with their mother, I'll prattle away with the best of them!

One thing with the electricity, if you didn't switch it on again afterwards there would be no TV, no DVDs, no dinner maybe? Just a calm "Oh well, that's a shame, I was going to suggest we watched Thomas together but we need electricity for that, don't we?" That's if you can't prevent access completely, which would be my preferred option ... I'd keep a vacuum flask full so you can still have a cuppa ...

Star charts, pasta jars - these are all things which work with some children, they take consistency (and believe me, I know how impossible that is!) and a bit of trial and error, but I think sometimes we don't realise that we haven't 'explained the rules' to our youngsters clearly enough. 'The rules' are obvious to us, but not to them, and they're testing and testing to find out what they are. But I think sometimes they are just plain scared.

You might find your HV useful too, I'd say it's always worth seeing what they have to say about behaviour you're finding difficult to handle.

Good luck! At least when any of mine were four they were still smaller than me ...