Working full time with kids?

Abbafan1972

Hi there.

I am just after some responses from people who have school age kids and both yourself & partner work full time (or if you're a single parent, you work f/t yourself).

I have been unemployed for 3 months and am looking for both p/t and f/t jobs. I have got an interview tomorrow afternoon for a f/t job which isn't too far away (within 3 miles, but I'll be using public transport).

I have 2 girls aged 12 and 10, the 12 year old has mild special educational needs and the 10 year old is very sensible for her age.

Obviously I want them to be independent, not sure what the hours are for this job, but I've been told they're quite flexible (it's through an agency), obviously I don't want to take libertys and demand stupid hours because I've got kids.

The 10 year old has expressed a desire to walk to school herself, as a lot of the kids in year 5 & 6 do at that school. She has to cross a main road which is covered by a lollipop lady and another quite busy road which isn't manned, but I've told her where the safest place to cross is. My 12 year old has someone to walk with in the morning who lives round the corner. Also coming home in the afternoon, obviously I wouldn't be back from work yet (my DH doesn't get home from work until 7pm), would you let them come home and let themselves in?

I have my parents living not far away, and when I was in my last job which was 3 days a week, my Dad would take them in morning and bring them back home in the afternoon and wait for me to get home (I used to finish at 4pm, so I was back home before 5). But I can't expect him to do that morning and afternoon for 5 days a week.

The other issue is we need the money, which is why I need to go back to work as soon as possible, we are really struggling on one wage at the moment. We are going away in August, this is the 1st holiday for 3 years (we booked it when I still had a job) and we can just about afford to go, DH is having to work the next 3 Sundays to get some overtime in to help out with that.

Of course the other issue is the school holidays! :eek:

Any help/advice would be appreciated. Thanks!

sweetme

How long would they be home alone for? I have four children and have always worked, I've never had the support of their father or my family where looking after them/helping out is concerned so have had no choice from time to time but to leave them home alone. My girls are now of an age where my working doesn't affect them (17/18) but my boys still need me there. I am confident enough to leave my 13 year old son for a few hours, he also has his own house key to let himself in, and has walked to school himself since he was 8 (no main roads, school was only 500km away). My 6 year old I use after school care for, on the rare occasion, if I am stuck at work, his brother collects him from after school club and takes him home, the longest I have ever left him with the care of his younger brother is an hour.

In saying all that, all of my kids are very sensible/level headed and more independant than I'd have liked really!

RAS

Would your father do one or two afternoons per week?

Are there any after school clubs?

If you used them could you claim back some of the cost via CTC?

ema_o

Are your parents close enough that your daughters could walk to them on occasion?
As you mention it's 3 miles to work - could you walk or bike there rather than public transport. Just wondering whether that would get you back quicker?

I think you should go for it - if you get offered the job you can trial to see what works. You could see whether they can be flexible letting you work less hours some days & more other days but all that could be tried once you have the job.

horsegirl

sweetme wrote: »

he also has his own house key to let himself in, and has walked to school himself since he was 8 (no main roads, school was only 500km away).

500km??:rotfl:

sweetme

horsegirl wrote: »

500km??:rotfl:

Yard, kilometres, it was at the end of the road, I know nothing of measurements

Eliza_2

In the same situation as you I rang the local 6th form and asked if they had any sensible students, hopefully those planning to go into teaching/childcare or who had younger siblings and who would keep an eye on the kids. It was the best solution possible. I was able to drop off to school in the mornings but she walked back from school with them, entertained, gave them a snack and handed over to me when I got back. She also had a gang of similar friends who were able to take over if she was sick or had something else to do.

In the holidays she worked for us all week, she was like a big sister, took them ice skating, to the cinema, to visit her parents, to play silly running around games on the field, got them involved in some fund raising she did with sponsored runs etc, or was just happy chilling in front of the tv with them. They didn't see her as a babysitter, (how humiliating at that age!) but just as a friend, not massively older than them, who came round for a bit after school.

Thank you Helen, I don't think I realised at the time what a godsend she was but I now realise how lucky we were to find her.

Abbafan1972

sweetme wrote: »

How long would they be home alone for?

I'm hoping it won't be any more than 1.5 hours, but not sure what the hours are for this job yet.

RAS wrote: »

Would your father do one or two afternoons per week?

I think he would yes, but don't want to rely on him totally.

Are there any after school clubs?

There is one for the youngest's school, the older one is at senior school, so no after school club there, as far as I know.
If you used them could you claim back some of the cost via CTC?

Yes I think so, we used to before, but stopped using the club when oldest DD moved schools as it wouldn't have been practical.

ema_o wrote: »

Are your parents close enough that your daughters could walk to them on occasion?

They are 3 miles away, but in the opposite direction, it's a bus ride away or about 5-10 mins in the car.

As you mention it's 3 miles to work - could you walk or bike there rather than public transport. Just wondering whether that would get you back quicker?

It's quicker on the bus to be honest, they are quite regular.

I think you should go for it - if you get offered the job you can trial to see what works. You could see whether they can be flexible letting you work less hours some days & more other days but all that could be tried once you have the job.

Thanks for your responses. I will have to mention my interview to my parents tonight when I see them, as I will need to ask my Dad to get the girls from school tomorrow, as the interview is at 3pm. So I will see what the reaction is when I tell them it's for a full time job.

MallyGirl

For junior school I used the after school club which ran till 5:45. Now she is at senior school in yr 7 they are allowed to stay in the library and do homework till 4:30 then she walks home.

Counting_Pennies_2

I think worse case scenario, you need to work out if it was 9 - 5pm how you would cope.


Then have a think about what would work for you. Would 9:30 - 3pm be better? If so wait for negotiations to start on pay and a job offer.


You could ask for term time hours to be as you would ideally have them and in the holidays for you to have x amount of weeks unpaid leave. Many companies go very quiet over the summer so they may be up for less hours.


There are plenty of good council run holiday clubs these days, and perhaps that along with organising play dates, and the odd grandparent day might help you through the holidays.


Definitely approach them with the fact that you could accept the job full time but state in an ideal world the hours that would work better for you, and see how it goes.

FBaby

My kids stayed home alone after school for a couple of hours since they were 10 and 13. It was no problem at all and they coped well. The only issues has been the snack bowl getting down much quicker and my DS putting on a few pounds, but that got better after a few talks about healthy eating and reducing the amount I bought!

What I think you need to consider is whether both of them are happy to be alone, do they get along, what would they do if they had an argument. Are they good at obeying rules or are they likely to consider being home alone as an opportunity to do things that are forbidden. How will they structure their time, do they know the neighbours well enough they could go to them if there was a problem. You say you are close by which makes a big difference as you could get home quickly in a taxi.