Parents Neighbours

aileth

Person_one wrote: »

That's a very uncharitable perspective.

Yep, but those were the words direct from the horse's mouth so to speak!

ska_lover

Person_one wrote: »

That's a very uncharitable perspective.

Why is it? The lad in Aileths post had nothing the matter with him, and was clearly just a violent brat.

At ten years old, children know right from wrong - whether they pick this up from parents, schools or other carers, this lad would know that punching someone is wrong, and it is likely that one day he will punch the wrong person who won't just stand there and take it. Maybe that is what is needed to stop him!

Person_one

aileth wrote: »

Yep, but those were the words direct from the horse's mouth so to speak!

Why bring it up on this thread though unless its to suggest that the same may be true of this 11 year old?

He goes to a special school, and from the description of his behaviour he certainly sounds as though he may well have ASD to some extent.

elsien's advice is very good.

aileth

Person_one wrote: »

Why bring it up on this thread though unless its to suggest that the same may be true of this 11 year old?

He goes to a special school, and from the description of his behaviour he certainly sounds as though he may well have ASD to some extent.

elsien's advice is very good.

Well, that's why I brought it up. Just because a child goes to a special school doesn't mean they have some form of disability, mental or physical. Some 'special schools' cope with behavioural issues as well, which don't have a specific diagnosis.

Person_one

aileth wrote: »

Well, that's why I brought it up. Just because a child goes to a special school doesn't mean they have some form of disability. Some 'special schools' cope with behavioural issues as well, which don't have a specific diagnosis.

How does speculating like that help though? Diagnoses are for the professionals involved, not the neighbours!

elsien

The other reason why he might be calling round a lot is if he's bored, sees your dad as a friend/one of the only people around who will engage with him, doesn't have any proper friends to play with. So the constant knocking on the door might be because he wants company. That might also explain why he's so hard to get rid of, if he's dragging the conversation out to keep it going as long as he can.
Other than as previously suggested, ie keeping conversations short and direct, that may not get your parents any further forward in how they deal with it, but you did ask for suggestions about how disability might affect the situation so I'm throwing it out there for consideration.

aileth

Person_one wrote: »

How does speculating like that help though? Diagnoses are for the professionals involved, not the neighbours!

You don't need to speculate. Regardless of whether he has some sort of disability or not, the fact he's a young boy roaming wild, being banned from various neighbours' gardens due to the nuisance, and being given a whole cucumber to eat for dinner is cause enough for alarm.

OP's parents' should try and address it with the mother, but I would expect that might be taken with some venom, or if they are concerned enough raise it with Social Services.

OP talked a lot about him possibly having a disability, so I simply put forward a scenario I encountered where a boy acted in a similar fashion, disabilities were mentioned by the mother, but it turned out he just hadn't been brought up with boundaries.

atrixblue.-MFR-.

aileth wrote: »

You don't need to speculate. Regardless of whether he has some sort of disability or not, the fact he's a young boy roaming wild, being banned from various neighbours' gardens due to the nuisance, and being given a whole cucumber to eat for dinner is cause enough for alarm.

OP's parents' should try and address it with the mother, but I would expect that might be taken with some venom, or if they are concerned enough raise it with Social Services.

OP talked a lot about him possibly having a disability, so I simply put forward a scenario I encountered where a boy acted in a similar fashion, disabilities were mentioned by the mother, but it turned out he just hadn't been brought up with boundaries.

Hmm could the thought be that his mum is right in when she says he has ADHD, and who ever said he didn't doesn't believe in ADHD etc? and pit it to naughty behavior with no boundaries?


Who ever said social services would not be interested are you having a laugh? this not your typical child roaming about causing a ruckess, this is a highly vulnerable child that needs supervision more so than a child of the same age.


It sounds like sister is supposed to be watching him when mum is not at home (working?), I suspect she also finds him difficult and awkward and hard to manage so for easy life lets him get on with what he wants to get on with for peace and quiet.


With the rubbish in the garden being thrown anything that is rubbish just pick up and BIN don't throw back as he will see it a game, anything of value he could keep In a box and give it back to his mum at the end of the week so dad is not back and forth everyday round theirs.
You yourself OP could call social services, explain that this is not your average child but a highly vulnerable child that your concerned about. Sneaky suspicion that this child maybe known to them already.


I'm not one to say call social services on somebody the less social services are involved in someones life the better, but some people like to use them as if their like police officers with the authority to enforce the little niggles that real police are not interested in, not realizing that social services when they pick and choose, can become like a run away train reeking havoc as they go in someones life even if theres no wrong doing by the parents. (just look at the stories in the news about the parents who had their child put into care because one social worker decided that the parent was holding their childs hand incorrectly to cross the road).


But in this case I think their use should be applied here.

dandelionclock30

No are you having a laugh about how social services work? They cant even get round and address really desperate at risk abuse cases never mind this.
I can bet my bottom dollar that they will do nothing or push it off on to another agency.

esmerelda98

atrixblue.-MFR-. wrote: »

With the rubbish in the garden being thrown anything that is rubbish just pick up and BIN don't throw back as he will see it a game, anything of value he could keep In a box and give it back to his mum at the end of the week so dad is not back and forth everyday round theirs.

Just bung it all in a plastic container that can be kept out of sight, like behind a shed, unless they're just chucking rubbish over in which case just bin it. If they want their items they can come and ask nicely, I wouldn't be taking anything round to theirs. In fact I'd probably insist the mum came to ask, as has been suggested on another thread. Every so often I'd empty the container into the bin. If you like you could warn them that you are planning to do this 'since they clearly aren't interested in the items', but I wouldn't bother. I can't be doing with the usual handling of feral children with kid gloves.

Special needs or not this boy is poorly parented and this is clearly exacerbating the issues.