Who Gets What ?

conventry1963 Posts: 1 Newbie
edited 17 June 2014 at 10:19AM in MoneySaving dads
Hi, difficult situation I have but not sure who is right, and morally, ethically and legally what is the right way to handle this.

I used to married from 2001 - 2005 and we split up and my ex had a new guy. During that period we divorced. I owned a house before we met, she never contributed and the house probably wasn't worth much more when we finished in 2005

Later in the year after the divorce we got back together and she fell pregnant and we had a son who is now 7. We continued to keep seperate finances and although we were together, the relationship was never at the stage where we wanted to remarry again.

Eventually the relationship finished and we had seperate rooms at the house. She, more recently met a new guy and currently spends 5/7 days with him, keeping the room in my house. The kids ( one of hers from previous marriage ) stay in the house most of the time spending time with her and her new guy some weekends.

My question is about this, she recently told me that she wants me to sell my home and give her £70,000. She never contributed anything to the house and I had always paid all bills, electric, gas, mortgage etc. She told me she saw a solicitor who told her she was entitled to 50% of the proceeds because although the marriage ended the relationship continued "like a marriage" and that we hadn't exercised a clean break agreement at time of DIY divorce.

I am not certain if she is telling me the truth or what, if any, she is entitled to, bearing in mind I support both the kids at the moment, although I suspect she wants to set up home with her bf and take the kids to live there.

Kinda hoping for honest, not judgemental advice, but hopefully based on a legal basis. Alternatively please provide a morally or ethically based answer making it clear its not legal.

Thank you for any help


  • bryanb
    bryanb Posts: 4,978
    First Post Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    Better to see a solicitor I think.
    This is an open forum, anyone can post and I just did !
  • fivetide
    fivetide Posts: 3,811
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Yep. try wikivorce too for insights.

    Sounds like she is about to string you up. Charming lass.

    Well done you looking after her kids while she's off bonking though.
    What if there was no such thing as a rhetorical question?
  • TBagpuss
    TBagpuss Posts: 11,198
    First Post First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Speak to a solicitor. If you didn''t have a financial order when you divorced then there is nothing to stop her making a claim now. However, in considering what she would be entitled to the court must look at all the circumstances and try to come up with a settlement which is fair in all the circumstances, including considering your respective ages, incomes and earning capacities, financial needs and resources, the needs of any children, any prior agreements, and anything which the court considers relevant.

    The fact that you kept your finances separate after the divorce is potentially relevant, as is the fact that she has a new partner, as this has an effect on her reasonable financial needs.

    The *starting* point for a financial split is 50/50 but it's relatively uncommon for the end result to be at that level, once all of the other factors have been taken into account.

    things such as who cared for your son, and what each of you earned will also be relevant.

    Also look into whether there are any other assets. Just as she has a claim over the house, you potentially have a claim against and pension or savings she has built up. (and she against yours)

    The fact that you reconciled and lived together after the divorce is relevant as it prevents you from (successfully) arguing that you had a reasonable expectation that she would not be seeking to make any financial claims against you
    All posts are my personal opinion, not formal advice Always get proper, professional advice (particularly about anything legal!)
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