Bl@@dy families.

fin7

Mum died earlier this year and it's as if that's what he was waiting for, we hadn't had her funeral when he started, it was hardly a great time to start going on like this. The thing is I'm not talking a few text messages asking questions, I'm talking one after the other for hours on end, that doesn't seem rational to me, the last time he was firing text messages and using whatsapp at the same time. He keeps saying that I've said various things, when I said I most certainly have not said what hes claiming I've said he calls me all the liars, then I get message after message saying I did say this that and all the other, then I get messages saying in a liar.

My brother doesn't know about all the messages, he'd go ballistic if he found out.

My cousins wife agrees with me, she feels that it's best left, the other two have never mentioned it.

justme111

Well if it is so bad communication is impossible and its not the matter of "whether to tell him or not " . Plain "sorry I am not going to talk.to you.in that manner" and then ignoring /changing number /deleting from whatsup.would be all that is needed .

ab.da54

It is a difficult situation for you, fin7. You should not be having the abusive messages. They need to stop. Now.

If you have made the decision to say nothing then keep the discussion amicable but change your mobile number so that you are not after getting all of the abuse.

fin7

It wasn't about money, without going into detail all I can say is that it was about a decision that his father made all those years ago, something he came to regret.

I don't think my cousin is rational, I feel like I'm stuck in the middle. I don't want this to keep ripping the family apart, but if I don't tell him it will, if I do tell him it will.

His father should have told him.

ab.da54

Why would it rip the family apart if you disclose this secret to your cousin, fin7?

elsien

fin7 wrote: »

I don't think my cousin is rational, I feel like I'm stuck in the middle. I don't want this to keep ripping the family apart, but if I don't tell him it will, if I do tell him it will.
.

But you're not responsible for how he chooses to react and to deal with things. And this isn't all on your shoulders unless you choose to go along with that view - you're only stuck in the middle for as long as you allow yourself to be.
To be brutally honest, if the family was out of touch for years then there's not that much of it left to rip apart anyway. I'm sure your's and his children are perfectly capable of ignoring him and keeping in touch if that's what they want. And you and he don't seem to have that much of a relationship to spoil anyway. That's not a criticism, I've not seen my cousins for about 20 years - no falling out, just the other end of the country and different lives.
Do what you think is best for you, tell, don't tell, but you're not the sole repository of the family history. If you don't want to say anything then he has the option to go bug your brother instead.