My children no longer have my names! does this affect Child maintenance?

haras_nosirrah

But if the situation is that bad for your children then shouldn't you be doing something about it or at least trying to improve their lives. Sounds as though they live in squalor and you are happy to leave them to rot in it. It is not their fault that you chose to have children with an unsuitable mother and it sounds as though you have written them off

While this is a money Saving site no one here will tell you how to evade your responsibilities to these two young children.

Maybe you should google the phone number for the Jeremy Kyle show - sounds right up their street

atolaas

If you are unhappy with the way your children are being brought up then DO something about it! Apply for custody. Yes, it's expensive...but its a small price to pay knowing that you will bringing your children up to NOT be like their mother. If you are successful...you won't have to pay her any more money.

haras_nosirrah

[QUOTE I am haunted by what my children could have been.[/QUOTE]

Why right these children off to a life of depravity

Why not actively try and improve their lives so they can fulfill their potential.

It sounds as though you have walked away and want nothing more to do with them. You created them and that responsibility doesn't disappear because you are no longer with their mother.

I feel very sorry for these children

LoosingWill

Well I think I have managed to promote discussion and some of you need to get out more.


PS CSA is not proof of obligation, CSA was compulsory where the lie at home mother with 'care' is on benefit. MONEY is NOT the aspect that a child benefits from where absent parents are involved. Don't forget when I started paying CSA, she got £10 from the 70 that I payed. From what was left I could not afford my bills(As I was the bread winner, all the debt from the home was in my name some of which only came to light when I left), do you think that years of that helped me to accept my 'obligation'


Now, I need to go now and boil up some neighbours.

pink_princess

LoosingWill wrote: »

This is marvellous and thank you all for the balanced response.


Let me place this firmly on the ground... The children have a home and food.
There are three children in that house (one is definitely mine a second is, possibly mine) the third is someone else's. There were two others taken from her before I met her.


"Stay at home mom" made to sound so warm and fluffy... ****ox, she has children so she can stay at home, not the other way round. She likes big dogs and chin-wagging. It would take me the entire weekend to get the house shipshape and would be a pig sty after one day at work. She has no ambition, no desire to improve, no patience and constantly distracted by blinging things up. Money was disappearing on pointless things without food appearing in the cupboards.


I would leave for work and her visitor would arrive and as I don't know how long it went on for, I doubt the origin of the youngest. That rots from the core.


I resent paying the money, the children have loads of role models none of which share my values, principles or morals.


So I am sour about all this, I am haunted by what my children could have been, I am regretful of opportunities I missed(None of them involved staying in that house) and I am very fed up paying money into that freak show they live in.


Now, may I direct your frowns and disapproving gasps to the address bar at the top of the page where you will find the word "moneysaving" and get back to the bleeding issue at hand.


You lot are so easily distracted.

If that is all true then paying CS should be the least of your concerns!

Csa_Survivor

LoosingWill wrote: »

This is marvellous and thank you all for the balanced response.


Let me place this firmly on the ground... The children have a home and food.
There are three children in that house (one is definitely mine a second is, possibly mine) the third is someone else's. There were two others taken from her before I met her.


"Stay at home mom" made to sound so warm and fluffy... ****ox, she has children so she can stay at home, not the other way round. She likes big dogs and chin-wagging. It would take me the entire weekend to get the house shipshape and would be a pig sty after one day at work. She has no ambition, no desire to improve, no patience and constantly distracted by blinging things up. Money was disappearing on pointless things without food appearing in the cupboards.


I would leave for work and her visitor would arrive and as I don't know how long it went on for, I doubt the origin of the youngest. That rots from the core.


I resent paying the money, the children have loads of role models none of which share my values, principles or morals.


So I am sour about all this, I am haunted by what my children could have been, I am regretful of opportunities I missed(None of them involved staying in that house) and I am very fed up paying money into that freak show they live in.


Now, may I direct your frowns and disapproving gasps to the address bar at the top of the page where you will find the word "moneysaving" and get back to the bleeding issue at hand.


You lot are so easily distracted.

Ha ha , I love to read posts straight from the heart without any politically correct nonsense, well said!
Over the years reading posts and just looking around at your neighbours, you get an idea of what people are like by their actions, and on almost every occasion you can guarantee that if the PWC changes the names of the kids it goes hand in hand with them being bad news, probably making things difficult for the ex so I can only guess what you are going through.
As others have said, it is very sad for the kids of course it is, but on a personal note you should think yourself very lucky now to be out of being with someone like that and concentrate on moving forward.
It was a bit of a "clutching at straws " moment to suggest a change of name would relieve you of paying though.

Tiglath

Get paternity tests done, pay for the ones that are yours and not any others, and if you're so concerned for their wellbeing, go for custody of your children.

atolaas

LoosingWill wrote: »

Well I think I have managed to promote discussion and some of you need to get out more.


PS CSA is not proof of obligation, CSA was compulsory where the lie at home mother with 'care' is on benefit. MONEY is NOT the aspect that a child benefits from where absent parents are involved. Don't forget when I started paying CSA, she got £10 from the 70 that I payed. From what was left I could not afford my bills(As I was the bread winner, all the debt from the home was in my name some of which only came to light when I left), do you think that years of that helped me to accept my 'obligation'


Now, I need to go now and boil up some neighbours.

Not exactly endearing yourself to people, are you?

I'm having more and more sympathy with your ex!

haras_nosirrah

Not saying the op hasn't had a time of it or that his ex is making things easy. I just feel that trying to evade all emotional and financial responsibility for these children when he knows they are not living in good conditions or with a suitable parent is very very wrong. If they were living in a good home with all their needs met it would still be wrong but to leave them with someone who he achnowledges isn't caring for them properly or mixing with suitable role models and trying to take away financial support so leaving them worse off is very very sad. These poor kids are being consigned to societies scrap heap and it is wrong

jacklink

no-one is allowed to change your childrens surname without your permission, thats law. look into it.