My children no longer have my names! does this affect Child maintenance?

LoosingWill

I currently pay CM through standing order through CSA and have done since I escaped. I was on the original system (Take original income divide by her and the CSA then pay) and was moved onto the second system when a re-assessment was triggered by her getting CSA from someone as a result of another child. She is unemployed, always has been.


I have been without contact for some time (quite some) and have found out that the two children now have a different surname and one of them has also replaced a middle name. She also carries that new family name so I suspect a marriage. Surely this means I don't have any children to pay for as the name change requires my consent as only one of them is old enough to take on new names on his own merit.

pink_princess

Are you being serious? What difference does a name make. You have children, they need fed and a roof over their head.

LoosingWill

Of course I'm serious. I left because too many people were in my home. My CSA payments were never seen there for at least the first two years after I left and my children do not benefit form my payments when they did finally get through.


I no longer want to subsidise her growing family and my question still stands.

pink_princess

What do you mean your children don't benefit? They need fed and a roof, and water etc.

Are you saying that they don't have food and shelter?

shoe*diva79

Oh dear. What difference does it make what names the children have? They are still your children and as such you have a legal and moral obligation to support them financially. The mother working or no is neither here nor there. She is entitled to get married and be a 'stay at home mum' if she wishes. The CM you pay will go towards covering costs of rent/mortgage/ council tax, water, gas, electric, food, birthday parties they attend, school uniform, shoes, clothes, activities, school trips... and the list can go on.

You can easily get a contact order in place to see your children. You dont need a solicitor, it costs around £200 and you can complete the forms yourself and represent yourself in court.

duchy

You may have "escaped" from your children- but they could have no name at all a'la Prince- and you'd still be responsible for CSA payments for them.

(Jeez what is it with absent fathers today - a poster who thinks CSA stops at retirement and another wanting to stop paying because the kids don't use his name- Gotta feel sorry for the kids)

Are you seriously saying you left your family because the kids made it too crowded ? :eek:

seven-day-weekend

Whilst agreeing that the OP should of course pay for his children, I think it is very wrong that they have had their names changed without his consent.

LoosingWill

This is marvellous and thank you all for the balanced response.


Let me place this firmly on the ground... The children have a home and food.
There are three children in that house (one is definitely mine a second is, possibly mine) the third is someone else's. There were two others taken from her before I met her.


"Stay at home mom" made to sound so warm and fluffy... ****ox, she has children so she can stay at home, not the other way round. She likes big dogs and chin-wagging. It would take me the entire weekend to get the house shipshape and would be a pig sty after one day at work. She has no ambition, no desire to improve, no patience and constantly distracted by blinging things up. Money was disappearing on pointless things without food appearing in the cupboards.


I would leave for work and her visitor would arrive and as I don't know how long it went on for, I doubt the origin of the youngest. That rots from the core.


I resent paying the money, the children have loads of role models none of which share my values, principles or morals.


So I am sour about all this, I am haunted by what my children could have been, I am regretful of opportunities I missed(None of them involved staying in that house) and I am very fed up paying money into that freak show they live in.


Now, may I direct your frowns and disapproving gasps to the address bar at the top of the page where you will find the word "moneysaving" and get back to the bleeding issue at hand.


You lot are so easily distracted.

shop-to-drop

Did you try to get custody? Sounds like you would have stood a good chance if her previous children were taken away.

GwylimT

If you believe your children are living in an unsuitable environment then why are you allowing to live there?

A different name doesn't change biology, you chose to have children, of you don't wish to have a relationship with them that's bad enough, but the very least you can do is pay a very small amount of your wages via the csa for their up keep.

Bella73

Sounds like some paternity testing might be the way to go and then go on from there. Could the children that are yours not live with you if she is so unfit to be a mother?