Benefits for a single teenage mother student?

BillJones

dktreesea wrote: »

When I went to uni there were plenty of mums and couples who had their children whilst at uni. The uni had a great creche.

I'm really surprised by this. At Oxford, I never even heard of someone giving birth as an undergraduate.

BillJones

dktreesea wrote: »

Yes, I can imagine learning to be a parent to a new born would be quite a daunting and time consuming task if you didn't have good support.

But on the other hand, deferring a place is like deferring one's own life. I don't recommend anyone with children put their own lives on hold.

Well yes, deciding to have a child requires some changes and sacrifices compared to not having one. The idea that you don't have to defer anything after the choice makes no sense at all.

BillJones

FBaby wrote: »

How does getting pregnant on the pill (or even by accident if OP is lying) got anything to do with academic skills?

Well it implies that they didn't think to use both the pill and a condom, which isn't the smartest move for a teenager sleeping with someone with whom they are not planning children.

System

Bantex wrote: »

Or £1000 pw.

Based on the average UK wage and the probable age of the father then my figure has the greater probability of being nearer the mark. And if he decides to go to uni then it will be nil rate

fabforty

FBaby wrote: »

I find it sad that without knowing anything about the OP, most are assuming that she won't cope -maybe on the basis that they wouldn't themselves?

As it is an anonymous forum and nobody knows anyone, posters will reply based on their own experiences. No different to you suggesting that she will cope because you had a friend at university who had a baby and coped. I had friends at university who had babies and coped (I was also on a law degree), but none in OP's positon.


OP may well manage, but other posters are pointing out that it will probably be difficult and that she is young enough to defer for a year without ruining her plans. Advising her on issues that she might not have thought of herself, simply because there are some things that you only learn once you have experienced them yourself, is not sad - I think it's helpful. OP is free to ignore all of the advice given if she wants to.

whodathunkit

FBaby wrote: »

How does getting pregnant on the pill (or even by accident if OP is lying) got anything to do with academic skills?

Getting pregnant at 18 indicates carelessness. Wanting to have a baby with someone who doesn't want to know you is just plain stupid.

Ettenna

BillJones wrote: »

I'm really surprised by this. At Oxford, I never even heard of someone giving birth as an undergraduate.

Do you know every single student at Oxford?!! How can you make such a sweeping statement?

I am at a Russell Group university and we certainly don't have a crèche that you can just drop off your child for a couple of hours.

I second everyone who says to defer for a year. Still apply for this year then get the wheels in motion for next year. When baby is born you can start finding housing because you will get LHA for the two bedroom rate. Until then you will only get room rate.

Think realistically about where you go to university as well. Think about general living costs, the cost of childcare, the availability of childcare, public transport (if you don't drive) and a support network. Many people have said that it doesn't matter which university you graduate from, but I'm not sure whether it makes a difference in Law or not.

Good luck.

clearingout

whodathunkit wrote: »

Given the situation, not that bright!

how insulting. I am afraid this says way more about you than it ever could about the OP. Why insult a vulnerable young girl who's life has clearly been turned upside down and who is also very clearly trying to work out the best way forwards in an intelligent and focused way? why?

OP - please don't let this kind of rubbish upset you. It is, unfortunately, something you will have to get used to. I did everything 'right' in my youth - university, travel, marriage at 30 after being together a few years, no babies until we'd been together 6 years, long work experience, property owner, cars on the driveway, no debt etc. etc. But that didn't stop my now ex husband walking out at 38 and leaving me with 3 children whose upbringing he hasn't bothered to contribute towards since. If I had a penny for every 'single mother on benefits' jibe I've had in the last few years I'd be rich! These things happen but they don't have to define us forever and certainly in my case, have served to put my life into a place that I wouldn't have expected to be but which is far more satisfying than my marriage ever was.

I hope all goes well for you and you manage to work things out. Take care of yourself over the coming months and don't be hard on yourself xxxx

FBaby

If there are two options and one gives a greater chance of success, I think it makes sense to choose that one.

But again, we don't know if OP has a greater chance to succeed if she doesn't try. I think the likelihood of not returning to her studies could be as high.

Well it implies that they didn't think to use both the pill and a condom, which isn't the smartest move for a teenager sleeping with someone with whom they are not planning children.

That must apply the vast majority of the population then. I suppose all the women in this country that go to have an abortion must be academically thick

No different to you suggesting that she will cope because you had a friend at university who had a baby and coped.

Oh I am not suggesting for a second that she will definitely cope, I am suggesting that she 'might' cope and that on this basis, it might be worth giving it a go IF she thinks THEN that she is capable of it. Personally, I know I wouldn't have coped but that doesn't mean that others can't depending on the situation.

NYM

There's little doubt that you are a determined person. You'll need to be to study Law and become a Mum at the same time.

It's difficult to explain the vast amount of reading involved in studying case law. You will need to learn what the law actually is and of course, academics’ opinions of it from scratch. There is definitely an art to managing the reading lists. You'll need to spend hour upon hour reading, digesting and picking up key points. You will need to be very focused on study.

Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn't know you had, and dealing with fears you didn't know existed. Your child will need to be the centre of your 'universe' S/he will not understand that you need to study.

You are embarking on a life changing and exciting period and I wish you all the best in the world whatever you choose to do.