Regret at losing contact with kind family member.

jaylee3

Didn't want to requote the recent post, as it's a long one Peter (number 17.)

I think it's a shame, but I can understand the daughter. Do agree though that it's a shame Katie doesn't know you have tried to make amends. I think I would want to know.

Have to say this family sound vile, and I think unless you are someone who sucks up to that rich uncle you mentioned earlier in the thread, or by the sound of it, this birth mother of Katie's, then you aren't going to 'fit in' in that family.

I reckon that these people will probably eventually regret how they treated Katie, especially the brother. The birth mother and cousin's behaviour is cruel to say the least; planning stuff with her in the room listening: stuff that she was not included in. They sound like sadistic, passive aggressive sociopaths and it actually sounds like Katie is better off without these toxic people in her life.

Still cannot fathom why you just abandoned Katie. Why? What were you thinking?

jaylee3

Quizzical_Squirrel wrote: »

I fear Katie may prove to have a few marbles rolling around herself.

Yes, you didn't treat her well but I suspect there was always a drama waiting to happen.

Why? :huh: What are you basing this assumption on? And who else are you suggesting has 'marbles rolling around?'

That's a pretty horrible thing to say about someone who has clearly been treated very badly by her own family. Shame on you.

GobbledyGook

I would leave her be. You've tried and now you know how badly it was for Katie I would leave her alone.

Since my 'father' died several relatives have tried to get in touch with me and many have been like you - conned by a relative/relatives they believed, but at the end of the day no matter how sorry they are they are still the family who let me down when I needed them most and if I made them a part of my life again I'd be continually worrying when they were going to do it again, when were they going to choose an aunt/cousin etc over me and just cut me out of everything again.

I think you should take a leaf out of Katie's book. Move on with your life and leave the family, including Katie, in the past.

Lily-Rose_3

Quizzical_Squirrel wrote: »

I fear Katie may prove to have a few marbles rolling around herself.

Yes, you didn't treat her well but I suspect there was always a drama waiting to happen.

Wow. How nasty. There always has to be one on every thread doesn't there?! Making unneccesary callous remarks, thinking they're funny. This woman has been treated badly by her whole family, including her birth mother, and you imply she's a bit nuts. What the hell?

Bet if you saw a man dangling on the edge of a cliff by his fingertips, you would stamp on his hands!

IMO, I definately wouldn't have anything to do with you Peter if I were Katie. I think it's a pretty nasty thing that you did and I am shocked that you had the nerve to try and get in touch. I have to agree though that it's a shame that she doesn't know you're sorry and that you now ackowledge that she was right all along about that awful family.

jaylee3

GobbledyGook wrote: »

I would leave her be. You've tried and now you know how badly it was for Katie I would leave her alone.

Since my 'father' died several relatives have tried to get in touch with me and many have been like you - conned by a relative/relatives they believed, but at the end of the day no matter how sorry they are they are still the family who let me down when I needed them most and if I made them a part of my life again I'd be continually worrying when they were going to do it again, when were they going to choose an aunt/cousin etc over me and just cut me out of everything again.

I think you should take a leaf out of Katie's book. Move on with your life and leave the family, including Katie, in the past.

I agree with this, and I am sorry to hear you have had a bad experience too. Do you know why your relatives are wanting to get in touch with you? Do you have something they want? Or is it just that they're running out of people to cling onto, after some other family member(s) abandoned them? (Like with the OP and his cousin.)

I agree with your first sentence, that now Peter knows how Katie feels. Maybe he will think twice before he treats people like trash again.

GobbledyGook

jaylee3 wrote: »

I agree with this, and I am sorry to hear you have had a bad experience too. Do you know why your relatives are wanting to get in touch with you? Do you have something they want? Or is it just that they're running out of people to cling onto, after some other family member(s) abandoned them? (Like with the OP and his cousin.)

I agree with your first sentence, that now Peter knows how Katie feels. Maybe he will think twice before he treats people like trash again.

Cynical head says I have a bit of money in the bank and inherited my father's property (well it was his mother's, but she left it to him and he to me). In the first instance they expected a grand funeral, meal for all of the "family" and a fleet of cars (for show...) all to be paid for by me. They also expected me to turn down the inheritance as it 'should' have been theirs and used to text every now and again to remind me it should be left to someone on 'their' side in my will.

To be fair some of them were young, like I was, but the 'adults' of the family are vile and I'm not entirely sure in this case the apple has fallen far from the tree. I was brought up away from it all by my maternal grandparents so I know some of the younger ones could also be decent people, but to be honest, I'm not willing to take the chance.

ManofLeisure_2

Everyone has a right to an opinion. However, perhaps it is necessary to 'walk a mile' in both Peter's and Katie's shoes, before making such harsh judgements.
Peter knows he was in the wrong and genuinely wished to make amends.
So many people cause hurt and will not accept that they are in the wrong - they are the ones in my opinion, who she be brought to task.