DMP & Mutual Support Thread - Part 10

Time_to_face_the_music

Hopelessly_Hopeful wrote: »

Sorry to hear about the car twin.

What's going on?

HHx

Hi Twin

Car needs brake pads and discs, shock absorbers - front and back, new steering rack and other various bits and bobs. Major work is supposed to come under warranty but surprise, surprise they want to send out their own engineer to assess the car. The brakes and bits and bobs are our responsibility and I have managed to negotiate price down from £340 to £210 but the remainder is quoted as being over £1000 and this is suppsosed to be under the warranty part. Then there is also the price of the service and the MOT. Stressed? Me? Hell yes! :eek:

TTFTM x

Monkeyballs

Hi all!

I'm still here too but there's not much to report on really and as HH mentions it's good to get some new blood in on the action

The only news from me is that I've received conflicting opinions on my ability to work and it's stressing me out I've posted on my diary though as it's not really relevant here, I just feel sorry for myself LOL.

MB of G x

ForMySister

Hi All

I've spent hours reading through this today and I have to say that I am so impressed with all of you, how you've dealt with or are dealing with your issues and your knowledge. I was worried about posting but the situation has got desperate and I am hoping that you can help me help my baby sister.

I recently discovered that through a combination of depression and addiction my sister has managed to get herself into roughly £7,500 of debt with various payday loan companies due to Internet gambling.

Anyway, turns out that my sister had already registered for a DMP with StepChange, which is due to start on the 1st of December. However, she didn't declare two debt, Mr Lender and My Money Partne, because she was petrified of them calling her at work. She has been trying her hardest to keep on top of things but as she also owes money to friends that she HAS to repay she's been under a huge amount of pressure.

This all came out in the wash after my sister came clean to her husband who promptly left her. She then did something silly that resulted in a trip to the hospital (not too much detail but I'm sure you can imagine what I mean - it's really hard to talk about).

I have spoken with StepChange today who advised me to get my sister to call them to rejig her budget and add the other companies. I also got my sister to email through authority so that I could speak with them in detail because I need to take some of the weight off her fragile shoulders.

My queries are really related to the likelihood of those two companies calling her at work and if I can do anything to prevent that.

Sorry for the long post, but any help/advice or support would be appreciated.

Puzzcat

ForMySister wrote: »

Hi All

I've spent hours reading through this today and I have to say that I am so impressed with all of you, how you've dealt with or are dealing with your issues and your knowledge. I was worried about posting but the situation has got desperate and I am hoping that you can help me help my baby sister.

I recently discovered that through a combination of depression and addiction my sister has managed to get herself into roughly £7,500 of debt with various payday loan companies due to Internet gambling.

Anyway, turns out that my sister had already registered for a DMP with StepChange, which is due to start on the 1st of December. However, she didn't declare two debt, Mr Lender and My Money Partne, because she was petrified of them calling her at work. She has been trying her hardest to keep on top of things but as she also owes money to friends that she HAS to repay she's been under a huge amount of pressure.

This all came out in the wash after my sister came clean to her husband who promptly left her. She then did something silly that resulted in a trip to the hospital (not too much detail but I'm sure you can imagine what I mean - it's really hard to talk about).

I have spoken with StepChange today who advised me to get my sister to call them to rejig her budget and add the other companies. I also got my sister to email through authority so that I could speak with them in detail because I need to take some of the weight off her fragile shoulders.

My queries are really related to the likelihood of those two companies calling her at work and if I can do anything to prevent that.

Sorry for the long post, but any help/advice or support would be appreciated.

Hi,


Sorry I don't have the answer for you with regards to work calls but believe even if they do they are not allowed to give any detail away about why they are calling. Maybe writing to them expressing they only make contact via letter may help.


I hope your sister gets it all sorted soon, what a wonderful sibling you are.


Puzz.x

Aloofdragon

Wow aren't S,C just fab 3 weeks I was still a wreck debating IVA, DRO, gawd knows what else today I have received 2 letters one from argws and a catalogue wishing us well and and hope our circumstances change soon and will take reduced payments n make no further charges and the first payment hasn't even left my account yet amazing !!! X

Puzzcat

Aloofdragon wrote: »

Wow aren't S,C just fab 3 weeks I was still a wreck debating IVA, DRO, gawd knows what else today I have received 2 letters one from argws and a catalogue wishing us well and and hope our circumstances change soon and will take reduced payments n make no further charges and the first payment hasn't even left my account yet amazing !!! X

I agree completely Aloof, SC, dmp's and this thread are amazing. Glad it is all going well for you.
Puzz.x

spot3

Completely with you Aloof, Stepchange have had such a positive impact on my life. I don't know what I would have done without them. Having spent more time around this board and this thread I have a much better idea of how I could deal with these things myself without the fear but at the time I was so scared.

Glad things are more positive for you!

Aloofdragon

Thank you, I also think I had to post a positive moving forward post as all my despairing woes and questions although very necessary over last few weeks have been at our worst point for a long long time certainly money wise, so anyone reading desperate for a way out of dreading the postman knocking doors dreading the phone ringing, hiding mail from their partners there is help out there and it is free if you need it to be. I would say though also go with your gut instinct I was advised a DRO on just over £3000 and hubby an IVA on £10,000 for us it didn't sit right and to be honest the accounting for every penny with P/P for 6 years keeping bus tickets etc. proving my son goes to after school clubs wasn't for us, I personally need to pay back the cash I have squandered and it will still be gone within 6 years so win win.

SOOO ask these wonderful people for advice on this forum , and get help life is way to short to worry away, and the main thing is we can actually live again and enjoy our family life x

ForMySister

Puzzcat wrote: »

Hi,


Sorry I don't have the answer for you with regards to work calls but believe even if they do they are not allowed to give any detail away about why they are calling. Maybe writing to them expressing they only make contact via letter may help.


I hope your sister gets it all sorted soon, what a wonderful sibling you are.


Puzz.x

Thank you Puzz, I don't think I'm wonderful at all - I just love my sister

I have a question for you all. Following 'the incident' my sister is obviously very, very unwell. I am going to call StepChange tomorrow to see what they can tell me, but I'm wondering if I should call the two debtors in question to explain, and if so, would they even speak to me? I don't think It would be right to get my sister to call them. Anyone any thoughts??

Kate_fixing_it

ForMySister wrote: »

Thank you Puzz, I don't think I'm wonderful at all - I just love my sister

I have a question for you all. Following 'the incident' my sister is obviously very, very unwell. I am going to call StepChange tomorrow to see what they can tell me, but I'm wondering if I should call the two debtors in question to explain, and if so, would they even speak to me? I don't think It would be right to get my sister to call them. Anyone any thoughts??

Get the "I'm not wonderful" idea out of your head right now! Go and read your post again and pretend it's one of us writing it. You'll see how wonderful it is! Having been in a similar situation a good few years ago with my own sibling I can tell you that they aren't going to tell you very much without her speaking to them and agreeing to it I'm afraid. Depending on how unwell your sister is this may not be possible (my sibling was in an induced coma but his creditors still wouldn't speak to me). If she's able to get on the phone with you and give her consent you can probably get a lot of things in motion. If not they'll just have to wait. Sorry if I sound a bit blunt but you seem like a practical poster who will appreciate my comments in the way they are meant.

Now, more importantly, make sure she (and you) fully understand what they can and can't do. If debts are in her sole name they CAN'T make you pay, make her husband pay. If the debt is all unsecured they can't take her home, they can't put her in prison or send bailiffs round.

And most importantly of all, and I know you want to help but look after YOU. You'll be no use to her at all if the stress of this makes you ill. It takes years to come to terms with a situation like this (it's been over a decade for me and it still haunts me) give yourself some time to process the situation away from your sister.

If you need to talk please feel free to PM me and post here.

Kate x