Tenants in Common

Tesstickle

Thanks everyone for taking the time to reply. I think that I will ask this question on the House Buying and Renting forum, to see if anyone has any idea how I might be able to sort out this mess. It's entirely my fault for being so naive in the first place

Person_one

Nice username.

victory

Bean83 wrote: »

You say he loves you, but he and his mother have effectively stolen your £70,000. He needs to do more than change his will - what if you die before he does? Your children would never see any of that money.


And what if you split up before marriage - he can simply turf you out and you wouldn't get a penny. He's completely shafted you. Either he's a lying thief, or so weak willed that he allowed his mummy to walk all over him and you. Frankly, I'm not sure which is worse.


Unless you can get both him and his mother to change the agreement and add your name, you are stuffed (sorry to be so blunt, but I am very angry on your behalf!)

Absolutely this ^^^^ :eek::eek:

What proof do you have you handed over £70,000 ?

Tesstickle

I have Bank Transfer Records and Cheque stubs in favour of the builders for most of it, and Bank Transfer Records to the Landscapers.

Georgiegirl256

Person_one wrote: »

Nice username.

:rotfl: You beat me to it!

OP, I'm glad you're looking into protecting you and your family before you get married to this man.

Bean83

Tesstickle wrote: »

I have Bank Transfer Records and Cheque stubs in favour of the builders for most of it, and Bank Transfer Records to the Landscapers.

Unfortunately he could just say this was a gift...


Hopefully someone on the house buying forum will have some good advice for you, I have a feeling you might need a good solicitor (and a new fianc!)

vodkashot

Contact a solicitor and ask them to make an application to enter a restriction on the title of the property. This would be on the basis that you have a beneficial interest in the property ie you spent £70K to purchase it.


The land registry will notify the legal owner and they can dispute this which obviously might cause you more problems with your partner.


If you do marry and live in the property, then you can register your matrimonial homes rights against the title to protect your interest.


Even if your partner changed his mind and made a will, he can obviously make a fresh will whenever he wanted at a later date and you wouldn't necessarily know anything about it.


Please go and get some legal advice before marrying him.

Crabapple

Even if he has written a Will that won't be revoked by your marriage (which can be done as long as the Will specifically says so) there is no reason he can't change it.

Unless of course his mother won't let him which is a much bigger issue... If she is an alcoholic and controlling her son you really need to take a step back and think of yourself in all this.

Take the advice above about registering a restriction and get whatever protection for your money you can set in stone.

maman

Tesstickle wrote: »

I know and believe me I have questioned myself many times. But I love him and I know he loves me. Unfortunately, whenever this subject arises, we always end up rowing. I have threatened to leave on a number of occasions, but he always manages to talk me round and I feel I don't really want to go anyway. He keeps promising to make an appointment with his solicitor to change his will so that he will make sure that he leaves me a percentage of his estate, but so far he hasn't done that and whenever I ask him about it, he ends up being cross with me. To be honest, I feel as if he has me over a barrel - if I did consider leaving him, he would not be able to afford to pay me back, so I most probably wouldn't get my money back. When we first got engaged, we both agreed that as we both have grown up children, that we would keep our finances separate, so that our children would inherit from their natural parent. Sounds a bit like a business arrangement, I know, but we felt that was the fairest thing to do, rather than risking the children all falling out over who has what. But now all I need to know is what can be done to ensure my money is returned whenever that may be.

On the second highlight, no I don't think it sounds like a business arrangement. It sounds highly sensible to me and it's exactly what DH and I have done. In our case it's 50:50 but neither of us can cut out the other's child IYSWIM.


What I'd suggest is that you go together to see a solicitor and get advice. So then you don't need to wait for him to make an appointment. I can see that potentially your OH's children will get loads more from the arrangement than yours but it seems he brought more in the first place so that's fair enough. What his mum seems to want to do is exactly what you're trying to do for your own grown up children (make sure her money goes to her son) but you'll need solicitors advice on whether she can do that if you marry.


It can be resolved but it needs to be done properly. If your OH keeps dragging his feet then I'd see a solicitor on your own or otherwise you stand to be cheated out of £70 000. At least get proper advice and tell your OH what the options are. I suspect that if you do go down that road then your relationship will be over unless it's what he needs to shake him up and cut the apron strings.

macman

You need to take professional legal advice, not opinions, however well meaning, gathered on a web forum.