OH sister got engaged - we gave them a card and gift - too much???

sterl1ng

I don't know many who get engaged and we (well I) went ott and figured it be nice we get them a little something with their card, but noone else in their social circle has(!) and has only given card - so was that too much? Perhaps we should have just left a pressie for wedding itself. BTW there is no engagement party either - did anyone have one of these?

19lottie82

Well, firstly, it's too late to worry about it now, unless you are planning on asking for the gift back?

Also, don't worry about what anyone else has given, or will give. If you wanted to give a gift, that was up to you, other people shouldn't come in to it.

whitewing

It's your family - you can do what you want! I think it is a lovely gesture.

monty-doggy

When I got engaged my friend bought me a bottle of champers, I didn't even get a card from my family!

I wasn't bothered but did think it was a lovely gesture from my friend.

Dractonis

19lottie82 wrote: »

Well, firstly, it's too late to worry about it now, unless you are planning on asking for the gift back?

Also, don't worry about what anyone else has given, or will give. If you wanted to give a gift, that was up to you, other people shouldn't come in to it.

This.

Presumably you bought them a gift because you;

a. Wanted to
b. Like them
c. Are a nice person

So whether anybody else did is irrelevant. Gift giving should be about the above, not a social pressure.

sterl1ng

I did it cause I wanted to as very special occasion but I realised after may be I was too OTT (I am more a giver of pressies than receiving) and whilst it wasn't expensive wouldn't want them to feel they would have to do same if ever we got engaged.

PasturesNew

Only give a gift for a party ... but as it's close family then a gift is also fine/acceptable without a party.

savingmummy

We didn't get anything for our engagement not even a card :rotfl:


I normally send only a card.


I think its lovely you did a gard and a gift, AND why not you obviously wanted too! I`m sure they are very grateful!

Georgiegirl256

I think people totally over think the whole gift buying thing. It's personal preference whether you buy someone a gift or not. I can understand someone maybe worrying because everyone else had bought the person a gift and they hadn't, but not the other way round. I don't understand why you'd worry about that!

When we got engaged, some people just sent cards, some sent cards and a present and some people didn't send anything.

jamesml

I seem to remember we got some gifts from a few people but not all, and certainly didn't expect/request (I actually encouraged a few people to wait until the wedding - not that it always made much difference).

We did have an engagement party but mainly because we had a slightly longer engagement (2 and a half years or so) and family and friends were encouraging it (think they wanted an excuse to celebrate). If it hadn't been for the family/friends pressure we wouldn't have bothered - but it was a nice pressure in the sense that they all wanted to do it, rather than feeling like we had to do it, or that they would come because they had to. It was a really nice evening actually.

burnoutbabe

i got a card from my parents and family.

And a card from his family.

And a cheese board from his familys old neighbour! who I had never met

So each to their own.