Name change after separation?

fivetide

Other countries do different things, that's fine but I think you are completely wrong to say the child should have her name changed.

It is who she is. If she wants to change it later herself that is her call.

Personally at that age it took long enough for my little ones friend to stop calling me <child's name>'s dad. It was only when I called him <his dad's name>'s son he realised why it might be strange.

tea_lover

Lovelyjoolz wrote: »

Why shouldn't the child's name be changed?? She's only four. It's not going to make one jot of difference to her.

Lovelyjoolz wrote: »

I would never change my name under any circumstances

You wouldn't change your name as it's your identity, it's part of you - absolutely fair point of course. So why is it fair to change the name of a child? Saying she's only four so it won't make any difference is just silly, she's old enough to know what her name is.

Adults can decide to change their names (on marriage, divorce, etc) or not. Children shouldn't have changes foisted upon them based on other people's relationship status.

Lovelyjoolz

tea_lover wrote: »

Adults can decide to change their names (on marriage, divorce, etc) or not. Children shouldn't have changes foisted upon them based on other people's relationship status.

I agree with you entirely. Which is why I said that the child's name should have been the same as the mothers and that the mother should never have changed their name in the first place. If we stopped the ridiculous practice of changing names on marriage, this problem would cease to exist. Changing this childs name now, just this once, resets things back to the sensible option. Hopefully, if mum does remarry, she'll have the good sense not to change her name again.

Lovelyjoolz

tea_lover wrote: »

... she's old enough to know what her name is.

Yes. She's also young enough to really not care. I doubt you'd find many four year olds blethering on about "personal identity"

Lovelyjoolz

tea_lover wrote: »

You wouldn't change your name as it's your identity, it's part of you

Nonsense. My name does not define who I am. I am who I am regardless of my name.

My objections to name changing has nothing to do with identity. It's purely on the basis of it being a ridiculous to do!

Pyxis

Lovelyjoolz wrote: »

I would never change my name under any circumstances and my children would have my name, no one elses. Sooooo much simpler!

That's absolutely fine. It's your choice so that's fine.

The thing is, that to some people, the name they have is really important, for whatever practical or emotional reason. So it's great that in this country it is very easy to change it, if you so wish. You then have a choice.

I once knew a French person who was very unhappy with their name, but they were unable to change it, as the system is different there. I think we are very lucky to have this choice.



Also, Mojisola is absolutely right to say that the father would have to consent to the name change.

Pricivius

Mojisola wrote: »

Her father would have to agree to the name change.

Not as far as I am aware. My name was changed from my father's surname to my step-father's surname when I was 7. My father was alive at the time and did not have to give approval at all. We didn't even have to ask him. We just started using the new surname. I appreciate this was many years ago, but I am not aware of any changes that require a parent to be consulted.

As for opening bank accounts etc, I have never had any difficulty despite my birth certificate being in a different name and having no deed poll or marriage certificate to back up the new name. I have opened 5 or 6 accounts, applied for a new passport and taken out a couple of mortgages since 9/11 without a problem.

Pyxis

Pricivius wrote: »

Not as far as I am aware. My name was changed from my father's surname to my step-father's surname when I was 7. My father was alive at the time and did not have to give approval at all. We didn't even have to ask him. We just started using the new surname. I appreciate this was many years ago, but I am not aware of any changes that require a parent to be consulted.

I was advised, again some years ago, by a solicitor, that if the father's name was on the child's birth certificate, then his permission was needed. Without his permission, the only way to change the child's name would have been by a court order. If the father's name was not on the birth certificate, then the mother could change the child's name at any time.

GobbledyGook

Pricivius wrote: »

Not as far as I am aware. My name was changed from my father's surname to my step-father's surname when I was 7. My father was alive at the time and did not have to give approval at all. We didn't even have to ask him. We just started using the new surname. I appreciate this was many years ago, but I am not aware of any changes that require a parent to be consulted.

As for opening bank accounts etc, I have never had any difficulty despite my birth certificate being in a different name and having no deed poll or marriage certificate to back up the new name. I have opened 5 or 6 accounts, applied for a new passport and taken out a couple of mortgages since 9/11 without a problem.

To change a child's name requires the consent of everyone with PR, which being married the father will have. If it's done without his consent (if the child just becomes 'known as') he can go to court to have it changed back and stop any changes being used. Schools are much more careful now with 'known as' surnames because it causes so much friction between parents. One parent doesn't have the right to change the child's surname without the consent of the other.

OP you won't have any bother dealing with different names. It's a pretty common occurrence now. This whole "parents are being accused of child trafficking/snatching" has been blown out of all proportion. A number of parents are asked how they are related to a child at the border - they show both passports, child says 'that's my Mummy' and that's it done. If you want to be super careful you take the birth certificate which will show the names of both parents.

I wouldn't change the child's name. You wouldn't dream of changing a child's first name at 4 or 5 so the surname should be the same imo. If adults want to change their name that's up to them, if the child wants to change their name to mum's maiden name or step-dad's surname when they are old enough to choose then fine, but to change it now would be wrong imo.

Pricivius

Pyxis wrote: »

I was advised, again some years ago, by a solicitor, that if the father's name was on the child's birth certificate, then his permission was needed. Without his permission, the only way to change the child's name would have been by a court order. If the father's name was not on the birth certificate, then the mother could change the child's name at any time.

That's interesting because we certainly didn't need to do so! My father's name is on my birth certificate - he's actually confirmed as the person who registered my birth. Mum simply opened bank accounts in our new names, told our school and applied for passports in the new names. No one asked for proof that my father consented.

Edit following GobbledyGook's response - I accept that my father could have applied to change it back, but it certainly doesn't mean you can't change it. It is more straightforward to get consent, but not necessary.