How to instill a work ethic into a 10 year old boy?

Brenny

Does the new school do homework club? If he gets in this may be the answer.

I've had experience of child who wouldn't/couldn't do homework (on autistic spectrum) but who would do the work if it was in the school environment.

jetplane

Is it school homework or is it extra work set by the tutor in preparation for the entry exam. Is he having to do twice as much paperwork in addition to extra classes, is it interesting or just exam papers?

I also think his career is too far away for him to realise the consequences and for what its worth I don't think I would start pushing him with eating varied food while struggling with this. Just maybe ensure he has a snack before his homework so he is not hungry but don't introduce a new battle.

You cant live your life through your child expecting or wanting them to take every chance that you did not have. You do come across as anxious about this and maybe your son feels this and is scared of failing. He is 10, are you telling him the consequences of failing are dire, is his tutor instilling confidence in him because this is as important as any work ethic.

Maybe try explaining to your son that it is only going to be like this for the next couple of months until he sits the exam. He may think this is indicative of what lies ahead for the next 14 years or life and doesn't like the thought of it. It may well be true but give it to him bite size. Ask him what he would like to do to celebrate the end of the entry exam and remind him that you are proud of him for trying.

Don't worry about a years time, he may love the school and have good teachers who inspire him and homework may not be such an issue. When I studied I did most of my best work near the end when the adrenaline kicked in, I often still do. I would also be asking his tutor how to bring out the best in him and wouldn't be happy with a work hard play hard answer.

pinkteapot

As an aside, if he doesn't pass and he's upset, tell him he can achieve whatever he wants at any school.

I live in an area that still has grammar schools. I failed the 11+ and was devastated at the time. I went to the local comprehensive instead, got 5 A-levels and went to Oxford. I was the first person in my family to go to uni and the first from my school to go to Oxford. Selection tests at 10/11 aren't always a perfect measure of future performance.

Re drama, the daughter of a friend of mine goes to a drama school every Saturday and loves it. Something like that might be an option for him? Again, just on the off-chance he doesn't pass the exam.

Best of luck to him, and I really do hope he passes. Just still remember the feeling when I got my 11+ result after working so hard at it!

If he wants to pursue acting, he'll want to do an acting degree. You still need A-levels to get into these, so he's still going to have to do reasonably well in some academic subjects to get there. Others are right that 'good job' is too far off for a 10 year old, but you could maybe have a chat about a couple of careers he might be interested in, then look up the sort of uni course he could do and what he'd have to do to get in:
http://www.whatuni.com/degrees/courses/degree-courses/acting-degree-courses-united-kingdom/m/united+kingdom/crh/8514/page.html

But explain that he might change his mind about what he wants to do, so trying hard at all subjects will keep his options open. I say this because I don't know many people who are now doing what they wanted to at age 10. I wanted to be a pilot and I'm a web designer with a fear of flying.

trailingspouse

He's 10 - that's too young for him to understand the full consequences if he doesn't apply himself. That's why kids need parents.

When my son was this age I found tying him to the desk worked a treat...

But seriously - some things that worked were getting in a routine (it was easier when there wasn't wall-to-wall kids TV - when the 6 o'clock news came on, that was the signal to start doing homework), discussing the reasons why it was important and telling him I would nag him if I had to. What would he be wanting to do if he wasn't doing the homework? Is there a way to timetable things so that he can do both?

It also worked well to ban mu son from doing homework at certain times - for example, no homework on a Friday evening - they've been working hard all week, they have all weekend to get the work done, and they deserve a bit of 'down' time when they can chill without feeling guilty.

But then - I was a fairly odd parent. I used to insist on them having sweets once a week too.