How to instill a work ethic into a 10 year old boy?

Counting_Pennies_2

mountainofdebt wrote: »

Actually unless the alternatives are totally dire I think I might be tempted to let him suffer the consequences of failing.

Sadly dire and I think he recognises it. It is just homework is not swinging it for him.


We have devised a plan today that he will earn screen time (1/2 hour for each piece of homework he completes. Then an added incentive that from 60% onwards he will get an additional 10 minutes per ten percent of the marks to incentivise him further to do well and not just sit in front of the paper.


I am going to look at his diet too, I think he needs to be a bit more adventurous with food, he has got himself stuck to just a few different meals and refuses to eat anything different so I think we will need to start working on that too.


He is allowed out on his bike to cycle round to friends when he has done his homework, which he loves to do, so I can only hope it will provide enough of a carrot for him.


Thank you all for your responses

Counting_Pennies_2

Mojisola wrote: »

Does he really want to go to that school or does he think that you really want him to?

What happens in other areas of his life regarding delayed gratification? Is the problem just related to homework or is he like this about everything?

Really wants to go to it. He has visited many schools with us, and this is the only one he really wants to go to


He is very much into drama and goes to a drama class once a week, and will learn his lines with ease and project himself well. Often getting the lead role.

Person_one

Person_one wrote: »

I'm 29, doing my second degree and I still hate doing my homework sometimes! He'll probably hate it until its something he finds genuinely interesting or exciting. The idea of a good job is just too distant and unreal to be much of a motivator for a 10 year old.
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Counting_Pennies wrote: »

He is very much into drama and goes to a drama class once a week, and will learn his lines with ease and project himself well. Often getting the lead role.

Does the school have a good drama department, if that's what he loves?

Mojisola

Counting_Pennies wrote: »

Really wants to go to it. He has visited many schools with us, and this is the only one he really wants to go to

He is very much into drama and goes to a drama class once a week, and will learn his lines with ease and project himself well. Often getting the lead role.

So you know he can apply himself. Very frustrating for you!

Could he be frightened of failing the exam - if he doesn't study, he's got an excuse; if he works really hard but doesn't get in, he'll feel like a failure?

krlyr

Could the homework be made more interesting to him? I'm 26, so obviously have a bit more of an understanding about the importance of homework, yet in my evening course I still find sitting down doing a mock exam very boring!
However, the course I'm on offers online mock exams, and online 'green light' tests - mini tests/series of questions which then give you a red, amber or green light depending on how well you did.
These are much easier to do - I can settle down on the sofa on my laptop and work through them, and they're much easier and less boring!

splishsplash

I agree with Fbaby. He's ten, he's got years of homework in front of him. He needs to learn now to just get into it and get it done. It's an ideal time to get him to learn to self-motivate, which is what he needs to learn how to do.

I wouldn't link homework to rewards - if he decides he's not too bothered about the incentives or the screen time, what then? The homework still needs to be done and you've just run out of bargaining chips. It's one of those things that is not up for negotiation, and the sooner he learns that, the smoother things will go for him.

meritaten

I think that's a good plan - employ the carrot and the stick! encouragement is good.
I have to ask though - is he 'interested' in the subjects he has to study? because I know its bluddy hard to work on subjects which bore me. Does he see the relevance of them to his future 'dream job'? and if he wants to be an 'actor' then he may think academic subjects wont help him.

Spendless

Counting_Pennies wrote: »

Really wants to go to it. He has visited many schools with us, and this is the only one he really wants to go to


He is very much into drama and goes to a drama class once a week, and will learn his lines with ease and project himself well. Often getting the lead role.

My daughter does drama too, started weekly classes in September. Got the lead role in her school Xmas play (I'm still getting comments on how good she was now) and came first in a recent festival for verse speaking for her age group and the only child from the drama class asked to perform at a winners concert.

You'd think they could put those memory skills and work into other areas wouldn't you but nope! In the last few days of the Easter hols I found screwed up into a bag in our hallway several maths sats practise papers along with a letter from her school asking them to do them over the hols. My niece is a newly qualified secondary school maths teacher who visited over the hols and took daughter out for a day who would have quite happily helped her little cousin with them. Daughter hadn't even mentioned them! They weren't interesting or exciting enough for her.

pandora205

What is this homework? Is from school or from the tutor? If the latter, does it comprise of sitting practice tests? Is your son having to work through verbal reasoning papers (or whatever) on a daily basis?

The best way for children to do well in selection tests is to have experiences at home or school that enrich their learning more generally. So, for example, developing the habit of reading exciting but challenging books, watching documentaries with their parents and discussing them, trips to museums, etc., following diagrams and instructions to make models, etc. Practice to pass a test does little for a child's broader education: in fact it can lead to an unsuitable school place.

If the issue is completing any homework, including routine school assignments, then it is a question of developing the habit of doing this and not making it optional. This means having a quiet space at a table with no other distractions, on a regular basis (same time of day), ensuring he has the correct equipment (pens, dictionary, etc.) spending time with him ensuring he has read and understood what is required, discussing the work, giving assistance when necessary and helping him check it at the end. This is a very good pattern to get into before secondary education.

FBaby

I also think it is better to set a specific time as I think what kids really dread is the prospect of sitting at a table for hours that seem to go and on for them.

If they know that it is 1/2 hour, ie. same than one TV programme, they can cope better. Also, teaching them to plan their work so it is broken down in chunks. My DS used to dread writing assignments, getting anxious from the start about what to write about, so we arranged to discuss the subjet as I drove him to school in the mornings, then he would write his ideas down so that by the time he sat to actually do the writing over the weekend, the task seemed less demanding. He sometimes even get excited at putting all his ideas together, but that still very much depends on his mood that week!