Money Moral Dilemma: Should we have paid for restaurant owner's birthday meal?

florere

I wouldn't go back there again.

Mancunian_Nick

If it were me, I'd have said simply, "Sorry, you invited us and never mentioned money. I haven't brought any with me, you should have been clearer.", turned around and left and never looked back. I certainly wouldn't have paid.

I know the question is hypothetical but regardless, it's still what I'd do. :P

happy2B

I had a friend who did something not dissimilar. Every birthday she would arrange a meal out - everyone paying their own way, which was fair enough. But then I spotted that more than once she had chosen a restaurant (and sometimes an expensive one) where she got a free meal by virtue of bringing a larger group. And when I started looking back, that had been the case every single time AND she hadn't been open about it. She was just using us to subsidise her night out. So now, every time I just make my excuses and don't go.


In contrast, I had a friend who also picked a venue with a similar deal, but was quite open about it and when we got there bought some bottles of wine to share. So she didn't pay for her meal and we didn't pay for our drinks. Win, win!

maxmiler

A similar thing happened to us just over a year ago.
An old friend has been diagnosed with liver failure and invited us (and about 40 others) to a " pre-wake party" as he was told that he had a "few weeks to live".
I was held in a function room / bar that he owns. I was shocked to be charged for drinks, even a glass of cola poured from a 2 litre bottle was £1.
What is really annoying is that he is (yes he still IS) a multi-millionaire. He must have made a few hundred pounds profit at the prices that were charged.

The friendship has been broken by his greed.

mrsk

I have been caught out in a similar, though less expensive, way.

"Are you free Saturday lunchtime?"

It sounded like a lunch invitation (we were new in the area).

It was a request for help - during an England World Cup match. The inviter was very Welsh so may not have realised but I never said yes or no to her again without making sure I knew what I was letting myself in for.

That would be my strategy with this "schoolfriend" in future.

JayD

Well, I think that if this was a 'friend' they would have given you the full details - and told you there would be costs involved - at the time of inviting you.
I also think that this 'friend' used you to help promote her new venture by publicly demonstrating a popular, happy place to eat to other potential customers.

Personally I would not eat there any more and would contact her to explain that you were not only taken aback by the unexpected charge made for your acceptance of her invitation but that you were hurt by it too.

This will probably end - or at the very least considerably cool - what is not really much of a friendship anyway. Real friends don't take advantage of friendships to further their business careers.

alwayswrite

First of all did you get anything 'special' with your meal or was it the same as other customers' meals in the restaurant?? If not then was it really a birthday party meal? Your 'friend' must have assumed you could afford to pay as you had eaten there before but in saying that she was certainly out of order charging service charge. I wonder how she would feel should you give her a bill for the champers you bought her. If you wish to continue the friendship you will never feel the same about her and you can always say you'll give her a 'rain check' next time you are invited to eat out with her. I do sympathise with the position you have been put in and if I was you I'd not do anything at the moment just wait until you have calmed down so don't phone her for a while. Good luck.

Clive_Woody

Invite her round for dinner at your house then at the end of the meal present her with a bill for £150 + service charge.

Also charge for parking if they park on your drive.

Winter_Phoenix

If you want to mention this issue to her, why not do so in a "thank you" note?

"Dear X,
It was great to celebrate your birthday with you on Friday, and the food was, as always, delicious. Unfortunately, a mix-up occurred at the end of the evening - although we were your invited guests, we were mistakenly charged £150. We obviously didn't want to make a fuss about this at the time, and risk spoiling your birthday. But we would be grateful if you would refund this as soon as possible!
Many thanks,
John & Mary Smith"

Fitzmichael

I wouldn't have paid, and said so to the other guests, adding that she had some hope if she thought a Court would uphold charging for an invitation. I wouldn't use her restaurant again and she would cease to be a friend.