Why do people take advantage of family members?

thorsoak

And the perspective of most people is that you should keep your nose out of other people's business.

marisco_2

thorsoak wrote: »

And the perspective of most people is that you should keep your nose out of other people's business.

I rarely disagree with you thorsoak but my perspective is that the OP isn't sticking his nose into other peoples business. Rather that he has sat back, observed things going on, questioned them and wished to gain other peoples views. Don't we all do that on any number of issues and subjects every day?

Dodgy-TYT

Agreed - do not let them walk over you...

It can be hard to say sometimes but you need to be stronger.

Person_one

thorsoak wrote: »

And the perspective of most people is that you should keep your nose out of other people's business.

These don't exactly sound like unbiased accounts, do they? :rotfl:

Ronaldo_Mconaldo

The OP has really gone into a lot of detail on this, even describing the temperature on the thermostat that one of the daughters uses. Something's not right here.

somyagilberts

World is full of bad and good faces.Do you never positive sides if world?Ya i know they all are bad. But,good and helpful person also exist. And, if any one taking advantage of your kindness, you should understand and try to escape from this trap.I know, its hard. But, its only solution.

LandyAndy

Ronaldo_Mconaldo wrote: »

The OP has really gone into a lot of detail on this, even describing the temperature on the thermostat that one of the daughters uses. Something's not right here.

The Op's head I suspect.

hazyjo

Sounds to me like the parents are to blame in both those scenarios.

First one refused to pay rent, fine. Kick her out. She owes them money? Why did they lend it if they couldn't afford to? You said 'debts' rather than just one loan. Once, fine. Twice or more? More fool them.

Second person... why wasn't the mother getting money off the ex? Should have involved CSA. The daughter wants to be driven half a mile to work? Are you saying the mother did that?! I really don't need to spell that one out, surely. So she dumped her washing on the floor... and the mother did it? Sorry, but I have zero sympathy. She should have said no and let it sit there for days. I really am holding back what I want to say lol.

Left over alcohol (don't understand that one lol ) - if wine, it won't keep once open anyway. If they were that bothered, they should either bin it, lock it away, or tell their guests to take it. As for taking full bottles, what did the parents do about that? Nothing I guess? I'm sure it's easy enough to hide, even if it means putting it in the boot of the car or asking guests to bring it and give them the money (if they explained their daughter appeared to have a drink problem, I'm sure they wouldn't mind!).

Sounds like these people you know have allowed themselves to be walked over.

Jx

Viberduo

Ronaldo_Mconaldo wrote: »

The OP has really gone into a lot of detail on this, even describing the temperature on the thermostat that one of the daughters uses. Something's not right here.

If it affects how people make assumptions, I have aspergers so am quite ocd on certain things and after you hear the same story from someone time and time again details like that stick in your mind.

To the poster after that, its quite insulting to write that as I have mental health problems so you are basically attacking people with mental health issues, I did somewhat hope that despite this being the internet instead of people reading into my own personality they would actually talk about what I wrote about, but I forget how easy it is to judge to make yourselves feel better.

Viberduo

hazyjo wrote: »

Sounds to me like the parents are to blame in both those scenarios.

First one refused to pay rent, fine. Kick her out. She owes them money? Why did they lend it if they couldn't afford to? You said 'debts' rather than just one loan. Once, fine. Twice or more? More fool them.

Second person... why wasn't the mother getting money off the ex? Should have involved CSA. The daughter wants to be driven half a mile to work? Are you saying the mother did that?! I really don't need to spell that one out, surely. So she dumped her washing on the floor... and the mother did it? Sorry, but I have zero sympathy. She should have said no and let it sit there for days. I really am holding back what I want to say lol.

Left over alcohol (don't understand that one lol ) - if wine, it won't keep once open anyway. If they were that bothered, they should either bin it, lock it away, or tell their guests to take it. As for taking full bottles, what did the parents do about that? Nothing I guess? I'm sure it's easy enough to hide, even if it means putting it in the boot of the car or asking guests to bring it and give them the money (if they explained their daughter appeared to have a drink problem, I'm sure they wouldn't mind!).

Sounds like these people you know have allowed themselves to be walked over.

Jx

Interesting point of view, but you have to think that things are easy on paper and people may think they will act a certain way in a certain situation but end up doing something different, I am not sure about the parents neighbours as they have been getting worse for years, but for the mums friend she is just soft on her kids as she is afraid of being seen as a bad mum, I dont know her that well personally but I know the girl storms off calling her a bad mum etc, as for why CSA are not involved I think its one of those situations that he lives abroad and outside the EU, is a millionaire but its his new wife that actually makes the money so he has "none" despite spending huge amounts of money treating his kids and knowing his ex struggles to put food on the table, as for the alcohol its not always wine but again I dont know everything its even like vodka going missing, I remember my mum telling me that the girl hated living away from home in her first year since she had to fend for herself(despite coming home at weekends with as much as 2 bin bags of clothes) and expecting picked up from station and driven everywhere etc. So she has decided she wants to commute every morning and pay her mum nothing etc, its not her mum that is pampering her its her father buying her love.

As for my friend he has social and mental health issues that was how me met on a Princes Trust course, he actually crashed his car a month ago due to stress and wrote it off and his brother just whinged how that meant he had to walk like 5 miles to town now, also I think emotional blackmail goes on i.e if he refuses him he says "oh come on bruv", or that he exaggerates, or that family should share, or anything that comes to mind.