Children dont want to see grandparents alone

barbarawright

This brings back the sheer boredom of visits to both my grandmothers where we had genteel teas, went for a walk (often walking past playgrounds) and came back and played card games. Nothing at all was geared around us children and there was a bit of a 'seen and not heard' atmosphere. (My grandparents were born before WW1). Result - we all avoided them as much as possible as soon as we were old enough to choose. It sounds like it will be like that with your kids as soon as they can be left home alone. Please try to talk to your MIL if you can.

securityguy

barbarawright wrote: »

My grandparents were born before WW1

As were mine. But unless the OP's family structure is very unusual, the children are 5-ish, so she's 30-ish and her mother is 55-65ish. And could, of course, be significantly younger than that. She was almost certainly born after the second war, and was a young woman, in her twenties, in the 1960s, and probably not much over thirty when Bill Grundy was called a dirty !!!!er on TV by Johnny Rotten. So the "oh, they're used to a different age" is !!!!!!!!: society hasn't changed that much.

barbarawright

securityguy wrote: »

As were mine. But unless the OP's family structure is very unusual, the children are 5-ish, so she's 30-ish and her mother is 55-65ish. And could, of course, be significantly younger than that. She was almost certainly born after the second war, and was a young woman, in her twenties, in the 1960s, and probably not much over thirty when Bill Grundy was called a dirty !!!!er on TV by Johnny Rotten. So the "oh, they're used to a different age" is !!!!!!!!: society hasn't changed that much.

Indeed. Which is why it's rather surprising that they seem to be using their own grandparents as role models. Though of course the OP could be 40ish and her MIL 70 but it's still a generation that should be used to modern kids by now

Mojisola

barbarawright wrote: »

My grandparents were born before WW1

Mine were all born in the late 1800s and they never treated us like this woman behaves towards her grandchildren!

It's personality, not age that's making her behave like this and ruining any chance of a good relationship with her grandchildren.

burnoutbabe

surely there is some benefit to learning that often, you do have to be quiet and live with someone else's rules? and yes, be a bit bored when visiting relatives.

I'd go with them but duck out and be busying doing something else in another room for an hour.

Kaz2904

When we were children, it was the other way around!
I remember once when we were on holiday at my Grandad's house, my Mum and Aunty had been shooed out to go and shop and relax (in reality, they went and bought him a microwave!).
They returned to find my sister and my cousin on the ground floor in the (massive) hallway and me suspended from the balcony stair case bit (head level with the floor of upstairs!), on a swing made from pulleys. I was about 8 then I think .
He let us play with fire, tools etc. I remember building a "stool" from drift wood from his wood store and vividly remember burning my fingers on the drill bit when I was changing it. But I never touched a hot drill bit again!
We loved it!
Our Mums were horrified!

barbarawright

Mojisola wrote: »

Mine were all born in the late 1800s and they never treated us like this woman behaves towards her grandchildren!

It's personality, not age that's making her behave like this and ruining any chance of a good relationship with her grandchildren.

I didn't say it was age.

Mojisola

barbarawright wrote: »

This brings back the sheer boredom of visits to both my grandmothers where we had genteel teas, went for a walk (often walking past playgrounds) and came back and played card games. Nothing at all was geared around us children and there was a bit of a 'seen and not heard' atmosphere. (My grandparents were born before WW1). Result - we all avoided them as much as possible as soon as we were old enough to choose. It sounds like it will be like that with your kids as soon as they can be left home alone. Please try to talk to your MIL if you can.

barbarawright wrote: »

I didn't say it was age.

Thought you did.

wortblossom

Im in my early 30's, MIL is 70. lol

pollypenny

Yea gods, she sounds boring! No wonder the children don't want to go there!

OH is 70, most of our friends are mid to late 60s, we all play with grandchildren, even if we collapse into bed at 9,30!