Children dont want to see grandparents alone

red_devil

Are tgey stricter than you perhaps.

suejb2

Do your children go anywhere else on their own? If so how do they act it could be that this is the only place they go alone and it is the situation (no mum) rather than the person they are alone with (MIL) that is the problem.
If it is the fact they don't take to MIL can you go with them and "disappear" for a while when you see them comfortable.

pollypenny

As the grandparents are ready to take the children to Macdonalds they do seem to understand children.

It would be worth trying to find our why they don't want to go.

Seanymph

I would never make my kids go somewhere they were clearly saying they did not want to be without me.

There may be a time (I'm not suggesting this is one) where they need you to keep them from an unsafe situation by trusting them to make that choice and supporting them.

They aren't likely to express that opinion if you dismiss what they are saying now.

I would talk to them, but definitely not make them go alone.

indsty

Could you have a sit down discussion with MIL and (even if it is a bit tongue in cheek) ask for her help. Explain the children are reluctant to come without you - younger one possibly picking this up from the older one is a good reason to suggest - and let her know you are working on making them more independent, but you and their dad think this shouldn't be rushed. So you really really need her help on this and you so hope she will understand you need to come with them for a while yet until they are ready to be on their own.
Maybe they will never really get on with MIL, but they are also old enough to understand she is getting old and loves seeing them so they should try and get along.
Having said all that - your children are the priority and you know best how to deal with the situation.

GobbledyGook

Do your children spend other time without you?

There's a big difference in how people would reply if your children are confident, out going children who spend time happily with other people than if they are children who still hate going into school in the morning because they struggle to cope with out you around?

What kind of thing does the youngest get told off for?

meritaten

this is difficult isn't it? your MIL obviously loves them and wants to spend time with them (quality time on her own with them). however they don't want to. can you compromise? take your kids to her house then go off shopping or for a coffee and promise to return in an hour for them? or even half hour to begin with? see how things go? would the kids agree to that?

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Depends what MIL is like behind closed doors.

It can be very, very different to the public face or the one her own children remember/think they remember.

My nephew remembers being indulged and spoiled. My children remember a vicious old cow. The difference is echoed in my brother's memories of being with her and mine.

sharnad

It's a shame you can't take them somewhere with here. Leave them alone and watch from Afar to see how see behaves with them when your not around

wortblossom

Thankyou for all your replies. MIL likes them to sit down and be quiet, they are not allowed tv programs they like, gameboys and so on. She is very keen on them giving her their sole attention - like an adult would when they sit down and chat about work. So in that respect I think they are bored when they go there. She also dislikes any kind of noise - the younger one espically is told off alot about shouting or laughing loud. She is also scared of being knocked , so tells them not to run around etc. As adults we can appreciate this is because shes getting older/has health problems but From a childs point of view I think perhaps its a little restrictive enviroment compared to home where they can run, shout and play video games.
The eldest has some problems and doesnt like to be on his own at all. The youngest however loves going for sleep overs with my dad and attends after school clubs e.g scouts and music lessons with no problem or even a second thought to me and my husband. He is quiet the social butterfly at school.
I have also suggested we all go along to her house, then she and grandad take the boys out or me and my husband leave after a while. The answer to this has always been No.