Grandparents rights to see grandchildren

kavadias1981

The reason we have both decided to stop our daughter from seeing her was because she refused to smoke outside whilst our daughter was in her house. She said, and I quote "It is my house and I'll do what I want". She ignored both my and my partners requests to smoke outside and has now become abusive towards us. She has even threatened to take us to court (despite her having no rights). We have told her that if she stops smoking around our daughter then she can see her again. But she refuses to do that. But she still wants the right to see her.

What do you all think?

jimsmum

I personally think you should still allow her to still see your daughter but how about in your house?
Tell her you will not step foot in her house untill she decides to not smoke whilst her grandaughter is there, I'm sure it's probably not hard to not smoke inside for a few hours!
I do exactly the same with some of my friends, I never take my DS to play with their children for that same reason, they smoke in the house, they say 'it's only in the kitchen' but smoke travels and I'd rather not have my son in that !!!

mrcow

kavadias1981 wrote: »

What do you all think?

That it's a sad day when a grandmother decides that she's not going to see her own grandchild because she can't hold off the fags for an hour's visit.

It seems very odd.

Do you think that perhaps maybe she feels she's been backed into a corner? Most arguments are repairable if both parties are willing to make up.

Maybe you could arrange to go out for a meal somewhere and invite her along? She won't be able to smoke in restuarant or shopping centre anyway.....it's the law.

shelley_crow

My son will never see his grandparents on my side (I do hate thinking that we're even related). They are vile, cruel people and if they ever got to see him i'd shudder to think of what would happen. He has two brilliant grandparents and a great grandparent as well as countless cousins, aunties, uncles etc. He's not missing anything.

If a law is passed ensuring grandparents rights then I woudn't think twice of emigrating somewhere where they couldn't gain access.

duchy

jimsmum wrote: »

I personally think you should still allow her to still see your daughter but how about in your house?
Tell her you will not step foot in her house untill she decides to not smoke whilst her grandaughter is there, I'm sure it's probably not hard to not smoke inside for a few hours!
I do exactly the same with some of my friends, I never take my DS to play with their children for that same reason, they smoke in the house, they say 'it's only in the kitchen' but smoke travels and I'd rather not have my son in that !!!

How sad and petty of you- if a member of my family dictated to me rather than asked nicely maybe I'd feel the same.
Why not just make arrangements to see her away from the house if you can't find a compromise ?

jimsmum

duchy wrote: »

How sad and petty of you- if a member of my family dictated to me rather than asked nicely maybe I'd feel the same.
Why not just make arrangements to see her away from the house if you can't find a compromise ?

My son still plays with her children, in my house, the park, school etc
I have asked for her not to smoke around my son and she still carried on so I had no choice not to take him to play at her house as I didn't fancy having my son on steroids again due to a bad chest caused by inhaling smoke.
So before you call me sad and petty again, next time think before you type as you do not know the full facts.:rolleyes:

mike.d.

as i have fallen out with my daughter (over money )she will not let me see my granddaughter 1 year old who has stayed with me just about every sat since birth and i do not want too lose that dose anyone know if i can make a contact order application under section 10 of the 1989 children'sct ?

memelalou

Though i entirely agree with the 'right' to be able to see your grandchildren {i was mostly raised by my grandma}.

The thought that occured to me is that if the arguement for pro grandrental rights is because it is for the best of the interests of the child. If granted access couldn't this be in theory more stressful for the child because of being pulled from 'pillar to post', iykwim {especially if the lost of contact is due to the child in question parents have split}, and the bad relationship between the childs parents and their grandparents.
Not my thoughts exactly, but perhaps this is a reason that legally there is no right?

mike.d.

memelalou wrote: »

Though i entirely agree with the 'right' to be able to see your grandchildren {i was mostly raised by my grandma}.

The thought that occured to me is that if the arguement for pro grandrental rights is because it is for the best of the interests of the child. If granted access couldn't this be in theory more stressful for the child because of being pulled from 'pillar to post', iykwim {especially if the lost of contact is due to the child in question parents have split}, and the bad relationship between the childs parents and their grandparents.
Not my thoughts exactly, but perhaps this is a reason that legally there is no right?

true i see your point but as we have built up a relationship (and her eyes light up when she sees me or hears my vioce )would it also be causing her stress to loose that relationship

memelalou

mike.d. wrote: »

true i see your point but as we have built up a relationship (and her eyes light up when she sees me or hears my vioce )would it also be causing her stress to loose that relationship

oooo noooo. I wasn't pointing my answer at you, sorry if it upset you, i was just musing to myself what the reasons would be why there is no rights for grand parents in general. I wasn't saying that in my view that it was right, just that i could see why the law might be as it is.

sorry really didn't mean to offend anyone.