Grandparents rights to see grandchildren

mookiandco

Technically grandparents dont have any rights. However, the courts are becoming more open to grandparents having contact with their grandchildren. The grandparents will need to seek permission (leave) of the court to make an application for contact . The form is here:

http://www.hmcourts-service.gov.uk/HMCSCourtFinder/GetForm.do?court_forms_id=78

If the court gives you permission to make a contact application, you will need a C1 form, found here:

http://www.hmcourts-service.gov.uk/HMCSCourtFinder/GetForm.do?court_forms_id=50

In order to convince the court that you should have contact, you will need to show committment, a good relationship with grandkids, that it is in their best interest for contact to take place, a history of frequent contact, that you are making the application for the right reasons (ie not as a way of getting back at one of the parents) etc. A contact order can be made in the same way as it can for non-resident parents.

The first step would be to write a letter (or get a solicitor to) to ask the parents if they will agree to contact proposals. If no direct contact can be agreed, in the interim continue to have indirect contact by way of letters and phone calls.

Deac

Hi, sorry to dig this thread up from the grave, but it's the closest thing I could find to any kind of answer through google.

If one of the grandparents has made a racial slur about one of the parents of the grandchild and there are witnesses to vouch for that, is that going to effect their application for contact?

nealallen

snowmaid wrote: »

This really sickens me to my gut, that people purposely withhold kids from seeing their grandparents. :mad:

Unless there has been abuse of some sort which is genuine, then why shouldn't grandparents see the kids??

Its unfair on both the kids and the grandparents. It's astounding how when parents divorce, the kids and extended family are forced to suffer because of spite.

ARRRRRRRRRRHGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry.....drive me insane! :rotfl:

I couldn't have said that better myself. I've seen first hand where children have been used as bargening chips, it's just aint right :mad:

ailuro2

Deac wrote: »

If one of the grandparents has made a racial slur about one of the parents of the grandchild and there are witnesses to vouch for that, is that going to effect their application for contact?

Well, if it comes up in court then I doubt it would do much for their reputation...but at the end of the day the courts these days do try to do what's beneficial or the children.
If it bothered you so much then you could report the person to the police. However, I think kids deserve to see both sets of grandparents, with all their flaws, as it helps them, albeit how NOT to act sometimes.As long as there is no risk of harm (see below)

Sadly, my DD has no grandparents that bring anything to her life.My parents were cruel to me when I was growing up, and when they took a slipper to my neices backside then denied doing it, I knew then my own daughter would never be left alone with them. The relationship deteriorated rapidly after that, and I don't have contact with them anymore.

Sola

When DH split from his first wife, there was a huge question-mark over how grandparent visits were going to happen, as the ex is admittedly a rather strange and unhappy woman at times (although she does seem settled now which is good). In particular, she didn't want DH to see her parents (they were angry at her for leaving him for someone else); they stood up to her and said he'd always be part of their life, always have a key to their place, and that I was also welcome (I came along later); having said that, they did also accept no. 2 partner who was the reason for the split, after some initial awkwardness, and until recently he worked in the family business. He has recently remarried and added a wife and two stepchildren into the mix.

So DH's kids see their mother's parents several times a week, their father's mother/father/stepmother (and her parents - all my inlaws/step-inlaws), my mother/sister/niece (their stepgrandmother, stepaunt, stepcousin), their first stepfather's parents and family, and their current stepfather's parents and family. It all seems to work somehow even if it is a somewhat convoluted tree, and I get on particularly well with the ex's parents as well as with the ex's two sisters. The ex's mother cried with happiness when we went to the ex's most recent marriage; she thought it was lovely.

The ex's third child by no. 2 partner regards us as kind of surrogate step-parents and will probably be joining DH's kids for weekend visits to us; I expect her new baby by the current husband due in December will fit into the somewhat confusing extended family too.

I do feel incredibly sorry for grandparents and children who are cut out of each other's life by a parent; the grandparents of my sister's daughter didn't know she existed until she was 5 as their son wouldn't tell them, and they haven't wanted to pursue a relationship although the father's sister sends cards and presents to her niece. So my DH is also a kind of surrogate stepfather as well as uncle, as the father is nowhere on the scene.

duchy

The key appears to be if the Grandparents can remain impartial. I know my own Mum put her own feelings on the backburner and encouraged me to keep all family relations intact at a time I'd have been happy not to have done-and everyone benefited. Sadly my MIL wasn't as wise and caused trouble and consequently I don't make the effort I could and her son sees less of her as his spare time is spent visiting his son

rosiepen

nealallen wrote: »

I couldn't have said that better myself. I've seen first hand where children have been used as bargening chips, it's just aint right :mad:

i too agree i have been having this problem seeing my grandchild, i have had regular contact with my grandchild and like history repeating it self my daughter goes in a mood and i get ignored and kept away from seeing my grandchild. my ex-husband calls all the shots he makes the rules and my daughter follows like a lamb to the slaughter. it is so hurtful on top of this she is due my secound grandchild within days. and i have no right to ring or visit the hospital to check on their welfare.as my ex-husbands wife as got every thing under control i keep my mouth shut on all acounts because i fear loosing my grandchild. but it seems i have not really got her. i would not consider court it seems a low desision to make but i can appreciate any one taking them steps it feels like the only soulotion. they should be automatic rights to avoid selfish kids making selfish desicions.

RadoJo

Automatic rights my !!!!! - why should grandparents have entitlement to see their grandchildren if they can't maintain a relationship with their own child? If the parent with custody has issues with their own parents then they need to resolve those before dragging another child into the mess. And if a parent who has access time with their children doesn't choose to spend that access time with their own parents, then again, the issue is between the two sets of parents, and a child should only be added to the situation when the ADULTS in the family can behave as such.

I am sure there are circumstances where grandparents have a genuine concern about their grandchildren's welfare and want to fight to ensure that they have a role in their life, but if people like the last poster want access to an impressionable child when they can pour forth such vitriol about that child's parents then I for one am glad that it is not an automatic entitlement. No child needs to hear that their parent is 'selfish', 'like a lamb to the slaughter', or to be talked about in terms of whether you have 'really got her' or not.

A grandchild is not a commodity, Rosiepen, but this is how you posting comes across. You mention no benefits to your grandchildren to seeing you, just what your rights are and how they compare with the childen's other grandparents - what kind of way is that to talk about a child? It's not about what you want, it's about what's best for the children, and on the basis purely of your post, I would say that your daughter may well have had the right idea. Instead of focussing on what you want, why not think about what you can offer?

Chuckleberry_2

duchy wrote: »

The key appears to be if the Grandparents can remain impartial. I know my own Mum put her own feelings on the backburner and encouraged me to keep all family relations intact at a time I'd have been happy not to have done-and everyone benefited. Sadly my MIL wasn't as wise and caused trouble and consequently I don't make the effort I could and her son sees less of her as his spare time is spent visiting his son

In my case, I think its very important for the grandparents to respect how their children wish to bring up their grandchildren. and not dictate or interfere especially in front of the child. My mother & stepfather were particarly cruel to me as a child, especially my mother who would use any abuse she could think off, physical & emotional. She ended up being charged many times for assault on others and was threatened with prison if she did it again. So as you can imagine she won't be having contact with my child at all. I'm also unlucky enough to have a mil who is from hell, and constantly nitpicked and was rude and would humilate me in front of others on how I should be dealing with my child. As soon as my hubby and I left her house, we would be screaming at each other about her behaviour as he didn't see anything wrong with it, it became so bad that we have separated many times. We are together at the moment and things are better, because we havent' visited MIL as a family because of the trouble it causes, so she doesn't see our child either. She constantly picks at things, ie my child's trousers are too tight, is that nappy water proof ? Critises me for not praising him enough, yet I didn't get the chance because MIL spoke over me etc... To make matters worse SILs refuses to visit us and has turned her back on our child because we haven't visited her Mother ..... and yet everyone comments on how good our child is, we haven't indulged him, he doesn't have much tantrums (yet)!! WHAT IS THERE TO DO? Ps the MIL never admits in wrongdoing or turns the situation to something else, so she is impossible to talk to!

loobylou2

I wonder if someone could help me with this question. I don"t have much of a relationship with my parents and grandmother for various reasons which I won"t go into here and after our latest argument do not believe that I will be hearing from them again. My fathers last words to me were that he would ring me when my mother was dead, she suffers from kidney disease but has never been hospitalised in the 5 years since her diagnosis!!! But, I do have 3 children and believe that it is important for them to have contact with their grandparents because I don"t want them to grow up as I did without having any contact with their relatives. ( My mother didn"t get on with her mother and refused to go to her funeral so sadly history appears to be repeating itself in my own relationship with her!!!) but the problem now is how to keep them in contact with their grandparents without having to become involved with them myself or being badmouthed by my parents when they have contact with my children. Relations have deteriorated with my parents to such an extent that I don"t trust them not to bad mouth me to my own children but yet I don"t want to deprive my children of the opportunity to have a relationship with their grandparents as I believe that when they are older they will be able to form their own views about things and make their own judgments on the situation. My parents live 70+++ miles away from us and so only saw the children perhaps 3 or 4 times a year but they did telephone on a regular basis and speak to them almost weekly so the kids are very fond of them. I know that they won"t contact or speak to me because they made that pretty clear the last time I rang them and this is the punishment I get for being honest and saying something which may be unpleasant to hear but nonetheless truthful but how on earth do I explain to the children what has happened. I don"t want my kids to miss out on their relationship with their grandparents just because they won"t speak to me for being truthful. Any suggestions would be gratefully received because as I said earlier despite my problems with my parents they are the only grandparents my children have and I would like to think that however difficult the situation is they could at least have some sort of relationship with them