Failed at life

fivetide

beluga wrote: »

Thanks everyone. Doctor has referred me for conselling, but not sure how long that will take. Told me to come in or go to A&E if I think I'll hurt myself. A positive step but no help to me right now.
He really is the only good thing in my life. Depression and anxiety have meant that I haven't worked since uni (I'm now 32). I have no source of income. I don't drive, and am too scared to go outside by myself. My family are unsupportive, and all my friends are joint friends. We did everything together. I really don't know what to do without him. I don't really want to die but I don't want to live this version of my life. I just want him back and for us to be happy again. Feeling rather pathetic right now, sorry for waffling.

Sounds like a bit of a vicious circle. You don't work because you are depressed and anxious but you are depressed and anxious because you don't get out and mix with anyone.

As other have said, you can see this as a chance to change that. Baby steps, trying new things, volunteering, maybe with a mental health charity someone who can understand your issues?

Things will come to you but as said before, there are no right or wrong answers so failing isn't actually possible!

Snagggles

I'm in a similar situation, just a couple of months down the line. I don't really have any advice except to take it a day at a time. People told me that too and I didn't really know what it meant, but for me it has come to mean don't look too far ahead, try to guess what the future will hold and then worry about that future you're predicting for yourself.

I'm still at the stage where I feel like you do a lot of the time. There are starting to be some better days in amongst now though, or at least some better hours.

I'm scared of moving forward, but time is a stubborn thing, and keeps marching on regardless. I feel hopeless, incapable and pathetic, locked in a world of pain inside my head, but somehow I've managed to move house, and from the outside at least, have begun to look as though I'm coping.

You haven't failed. I haven't either. We're doing the best we can with the hands we've been dealt. It's hard, and it hurts like hell, but one day it won't so much.

We just have to keep going. Who knows where we're going *to*, but it has to be better than here. xxx

Confusedandneedhelp

Hey similar situation, wasn't married but together a long time, had a child together and and dad to her two children from prev relationships.

Feel crap most of the time too and blame myself. But am trying to look forward in life, day at a time.

Best advice I can give u is live. Live life, get thru the days and u never know what will happen.

Be confident in yourself, take up a new hobby. The gym has really helped me, an hour a day I'm not thinking of anything but myself and what I want to achieve. Cut out negatives, if u smoke, try quitting, if I drink, cut down.

Personally I've set myself a challenge to maintain amicable child related contact, to work on myself for the next 12 weeks. Made a calendar where I can tick off small successes. I've set a date by when I want to accomplish a number of things.

For me that's :
Quit smoking
Have a 6 week sober period ( cutting down already, not that I drink a lot but it doesn't help mood)
Complete therapy if possible
Get the body I want to have
And prove to my ex that she's wrong about me never seeing thru what I promise

On the 25th July, if I do all this, and I feel a change in our attitude to one another. I will ask about reconciling, this date might come and go and I don't. But it's a challenge that motivates me.

It might not work for u, but it's working for me for the most part.

Good luck