Neighbour says I'm encroaching on their land

ognum

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

After their diatribe at me (not the first time they've tried to tell me how to run my life/home) I am due for quite a few apologies from them by now, hence I ignored the first comment (was focusing and busy and apparently didn't hear them) and waited to see if there would be a second one.

I've had a bit of a barrage from them about "do your home like this, do your garden like that, etc, etc" and telling me what to do generally and trying to tell me they owned a bit of my garden and wanted some more was a bit "last straw".

Fingers crossed that they have now realised I'm not a little wimp and won't try it on anymore and I've put my foot down enough that that will be that.:cool:

Let's hope that things will be nicer and calmer, but, don't try to make it into a power struggle. You don't need to try to be one over them that is not necessary.

Just smile and be pleasant, how does it hurt?

shegar

ognum wrote: »

Let's hope that things will be nicer and calmer, but, don't try to make it into a power struggle. You don't need to try to be one over them that is not necessary.

Just smile and be pleasant, how does it hurt?

I agree with what you say, speak to them and be polite, let it drop, they obviously know they are in the wrong , its no good carrying this argument on , its getting a bit stale now , tit for tat springs to mind, get on with your life , because its getting " school play ground stuff".......Dont aggravate them by not speaking and being unfriendly ..........Move on .....

mumps

G_M wrote: »

Big mistake. If they are making overtures or being conciliatory you need to reciprocate, otherwise they will get annoyed again and go back to being adverserial.

They say 'hello' to you while you're cleaning the car, you do NOT ignore them. Yor smile broadly and say " Oh hi! I was just going to put the kettle on. Would you like to come in for a cup?"

Before you know it the whole issue can be resolved. Even if they decline, at least you've further lowered the temperature so to speak.

Ignoring them will escalate it.

My experience is that trying to "out nice" them is good. We moved from a big city to a more rural area and weren't made very welcome. Colour of husbands skin might not have helped. After a bit of an upset about us changing a fence to keep the dog in we invited them round and had a chat. Things relaxed a bit but it was years before we were accepted.

One of the irritating things was neither neighbour would take a parcel in for us and it was a trek to collect them. We never failed to take parcels in for them, watched out for them and then took parcel straight round with a big smile. We shamed them into taking our parcels in but it took a while.

Strapped

I love the idea that boundaries go in straight lines - I wish lol. We replaced a fence between us and the neighbours, and by god, they made sure that it was replaced EXACTLY in the same spot - even though said fence was a rickety zig-zag. Now we have a new zig-zag :-)

Davesnave

Strapped wrote: »

I love the idea that boundaries go in straight lines - I wish lol. We replaced a fence between us and the neighbours, and by god, they made sure that it was replaced EXACTLY in the same spot - even though said fence was a rickety zig-zag. Now we have a new zig-zag :-)

Yes, that concept was new to me too! :rotfl:

At our last house, we inherited a hedge 6' - 8' thick, which I removed over a period of several years, as it was so substantial. I therefore couldn't put a string line down the entire length, nor take out the full width everywhere, because the neighbour decided obtusely to retain the their 'half' in one place.

I thought I'd done well until I re-roofed the shed, from which vantage point I saw the truth! I don't think that boundary was particularly straight to start with.

But that was nothing compared with the bottom boundary, where we backed onto four properties and owned the whole hedge. There, two of them had, at some time, pinched about 3' of our garden to make rear accesses. Poetic justice really, as I'd done similarly behind another house to achieve the same thing! :cool:

There was nothing that could be done...... until we left. Then, we sold the bottom part of the garden separately to those 4 properties, and I made certain their new boundary was very straight.

moneyistooshorttomention

There's a lot to be said for housing estates in this sense isn't there? Must make life a lot easier on the "where is the boundary front?"

Though I guess even there people shift fences surreptitiously when they get replaced or have workmen who aren't aware of the importance of these things replacing them (but not in exactly the same spot).

Will try to stay calm/polite/take in parcels etc ...and send off to Land Registry for the deeds of all bordering properties to keep for reference:)

This particular neighbour does seem to have created rather a lot of border problems over the years (by their own admission), but I've decided one way to deal with this is to reach a consensus of opinion with other nearby neighbours about whats what and, as far as possible, agree our own take on "who owns what". Things are so imprecise in some other directions that it almost looks like I own the land another neighbours house is on! I won't be seeking to go any further on that. I accept that their bit of land must have been sold onto them at some point by my predecessor, even though there is no paperwork to say it was.

Davesnave

Like boundaries, times can change too. 'Ordinary people' have become more litigious, though often, the only real winners are the lawyers.

A close relative recently found himself defending a totally spurious boundary claim, launched solely in an attempt to prevent him building a home. Thanks to poor conveyancing in the past, it cost something in the region of £6.5k to defend. The house was still built, and much more cheaply than if he'd just gone out and bought one, but the solicitors, on both sides, did extremely well.

There are other sorts of boundaries that may also change, quietly, and without many people noticing. Here, a distant neighbour's septic tank drains onto my property. When those people come to sell, there will be problems, because the legal boundaries for effluent discharge near watercourses altered completely in 2010. It's now illegal, and it would be shut down immediately if the Environment Agency knew of it. They may even find it if they test the stream.

A little boundary time bomb, waiting to go off on a couple of unsuspecting older folk.

harrys_dad

I think I am quite glad OP that I don't live next door to either you or your neighbour. You are going to live there for quite a while I guess so why all this talk about "power struggle", "liking to run other people" etc etc.

Now you are even involving all the other neighbours to "reach a consensus of opinion". What next, involve the UN?

How to make a huge issue out of a "teeny tiny one" in one easy step.

carefullycautious

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

Dafty,

:rotfl::rotfl:. I am now wondering whether said neighbour might just possibly have got an inkling that they have underestimated me?

Actually got greeted by them today whilst busy. I duly ignored them. They repeated the greeting and made a "neutral" comment.

Hmm....:cool:. Wondering if they have realised I am no pushover and decided they had better be a little more conciliatory?

Time will tell.....



I've never seen owt like it in England to date. It was always 100% clear that X owns this bit legally and Y owns the bit beside it ditto. Hereabouts...its sometimes anyones guess and I've noticed all sorts of odd little bits of land scattered around that someone or other has purloined and sometimes it's quite obvious its not theirs, other times its not at all clear whether its theirs or "public territory". I've never spotted such a cavalier attitude to land ownership in my life. Then there's the thing that goes "If owning such and such a bit of land looks like it will cause expense, then say you don't own it...even if you do" (but that seems to be a local Council tactic).....

It is proving more than a little frustrating to my "neat and tidy English mind" that has always taken it for granted that its obvious exactly who owns what and that it will be written down on paper legally and that's that...end of.

Here it often seems to be the case that its down to whoever shouts loudest that they own it (if it suits them) and shouts quietest (if it doesn't suit them) and blow logic and what is legally whose.

Am attempting to stick to logic and legal ownership...and blow the shouting (or whispering).

English versus Welsh and you an interloper I can see where this is going

moneyistooshorttomention

Where this is going is that I shall be perfectly civil and polite and taking in parcels now and I have a Land Registry entry that indicates what I own and am not going to bother myself about a petty amount of mine they are using until the circumstances are right to put things straight. I can manage to smile sweetly from here on in until then about how things are at present and just carry on using exactly the same land as my predecessor did (not including my extra smidgen), but including the smidgen they are after now.

I've made my feelings clear just enough so that they can see I'm not a walkover and will now resume the politeness/overall helpfulness/etc attitude I have maintained as usual and just ring friends to let off steam if there are any further rants at me in an attempt to "have a bit more of mine".

They've had their little bit of a try-on. It hasn't worked. Status quo ante. I guess its not uncommon for people to "try for more" and make out that that's how things were before to a new neighbour and hope to get away with it by convincing new neighbour that things really were the way they weren't at all.

End of...:)