No children wedding 5 May 2014 at 11:53PM in Weddings & anniversaries 63 replies 7.6K views

tinkerbellkirst

Hi,

My OH and I have decided today that we will be having a no kids wedding. The day was already no children due to space but he nighttime we have discovered also has the same
Issue. Between all our friends/family there would be around 40 kids!! Our venue isn't equipped for that so it's going to have to be no kids.

Any good ideas on what to put in the invite? Politely. I'm pretty certain most people will be able to get a sitter and out wedding is a year away, do I start telling people now face to face?

Thanks

rachiibell

If my (hypothetical) children's names were not on the invite I would presume they weren't invited although might be helpful to have a few tactful friends/ family members spreading the news too.

Enjoy your day

Si_Clist

rachiibell wrote: »

If my (hypothetical) children's names were not on the invite I would presume they weren't invited although might be helpful to have a few tactful friends/ family members spreading the news too.

Enjoy your day

You would, rachiibell, but from what I remember of talking about this issue to brides I've worked with who had kidless weddings, I can assure you that you're in a very small minority of considerate people.

If I were the OP, I'd start getting people used to the idea now, and I'd be prepared for an almost-equal split between those who'll look forward to time out from their kids and those who'll think you've turned into the antichrist.

I'll always remember one bride who told her brother, who thought it was a great idea but who immediately said "of course it won't apply to me and mine, will it?".

Good luck with it. In my experience of maybe 20 or so, kidless weddings work a treat - and after all, it's your day - not your guests' or their kids

FBaby

We chose a children free wedding for the same reasons. On the invite we just did Mr and Mrs but most people invited were friends we spoke to regularly and understood it decision. Quite a few said it was a good excuse for a child free evening! My sister is the only one who had an issue with it and as she is close family and was travelling from abroad that was fair enough and I had one friend who came with her son and that was fine too. we also invited my kids two best friends for the evening. They were all very well behaved and we're no problem bur was glad it was no more.

merlin68

People I know who have done this didn't end up having many people to their wedding as you forget that if you invite nannies and aunties then the babysitting scource.

Stephb1986_2

On our invites we just put the name of the people invited, if we were inviting the kids we would of put their name too.

Everyone was happy to have a few days off from the kids

Steph x

DigForVictory

I wish you all the very best for a serene run-up, a happy day & delight all the days thereafter.

In the meantime, start expectation management Right Now, on every possible platform. Facebook, email, answerphone message, save the date, invite, & of course *every* member of family you meet in person, regardless of age or gender or family status (you might even apologise to the under 10s - they do understand about small spaces).
Where possible, give it a positive spin to the most influential family members & but then repeat ad nauseam.

It's your day, you have every right to choose to a child free wedding but even if you point out you can't run a 40 strong creche, there will still be parents who feel you should.

You may limit some of the angst with very clear timings so relatives can say "It's only a few hours" but this presumes everything will run on rails & I'm not fan of tempting Fate. Especially at a wedding.

Many parents will twig it's an excuse for a day or evening "off", but some need longer for that particular penny to drop.

Wording the invite?
"Please join us in out wonderful but tiny venue & we look forward to meeting your children at some other occasion."

If you haven't already nailed this down with your family & team, do so. They will have to repeat the "noone under 18!" message too.

Spendless

rachiibell wrote: »

If my (hypothetical) children's names were not on the invite I would presume they weren't invited although might be helpful to have a few tactful friends/ family members spreading the news too.

Enjoy your day

I presumed the same for a wedding evening reception that I attended this weekend, only mine and my husbands name were on the invite so that's the only people who went. During the evening the bride, who I work with, who gave me the invite asked me where my kids were?.:D I tactfully responded oh I didn't ask them to come, rather than I wasn't aware they'd been invited.

Maybe you could add something along the lines of 'Unfortunately due to space constraints we have had to limit guest numbers to adults only. Thank you for your understanding on this matter' on the invites.

Whilst it is your pregoative to invite you who want, I'd also suggest that you don't 'sulk' if guests say they can't make it due to babysitting issues. Not everyone can find someone to watch their kids for the duration. Mine are a lot older at 11 and 14 and I'm still declining an evening invite later on this year for this reason (the wedding is midweek, miles away from anywhere the bride or groom live or is connected to)and kids would need to sleep elsewhere overnight during a school week and that just isn't possible as suitable relations have work commitments are too ill/elderly to cope or are attending wedding themselves. Not saying you would do this. This in no way means I think you should be blackmailed into inviting kids if you don't wish to, just that understanding of peoples circs are 2- way. Not that I'm suggesting you would be a sulker in any case, but thought I'd give an experience of why I might decline such an invite, not because I'm cross about it, but because I have problems logistically.

Sazzarella

I just put the names of who was invited on the front and. "Unfortunately due to space constrains we will not be able to extend the invite to children" on the back.

74jax

I just added on invites who the invite was too. So Jack & Jill or Jack & Jill and Family if their family was invited.

We just invited the kids we actual knew and saw, so some had an invite for kids and others didn't.

Si_Clist

Sazzarella wrote: »

I just put the names of who was invited on the front and. "Unfortunately due to space constrains we will not be able to extend the invite to children" on the back.

Erm ... I hope the people who received the invites thought to turn them over ...