My mothers behaviour

moomoomama27

BigAunty wrote: »

I haven't read all the specific narcissist threads and the online links provided on this topic.

However, I assume that aside from mutual support she will get from other victims of narcissistic type behaviour, a way to vent about it to those who understand, there will be advice on how to deal with this type of domineering behaviour, recommended strategies to minimise the hurt and damage they can cause.

I really am looking at a way to support her! I need to educate myself further on the subject, and find ways to deal with this. Thank you for the advice on this thread, it has given me a good starting point.

lilmissreading

Only she can change her behaviour, you can't.

It's highly unlikely, no matter how nice or nasty, it will change how or who she is as there is no insight or motivation on her part to do so.

Good luck with finding your own way to cope with her.

missindecisive

I agree with your husband x

Mojisola

moomoomama27 wrote: »

She puts me down, and has done all my life I developed an eating disorder in my late teens because I was made to feel so worthless by her!

My husband tells me to cut contact, but because of her illness I feel I can't, but I'm at a point where I'm feeling under lots of stress. She goes round telling people untruths about me, and tries to be controlling, using her illness to make me feel guilty.

elaine373 wrote: »

Whilst I realise it must be upsetting for you, how about thinking about what you can do for her instead of thinking about what she cannot do for you. If she is displaying these types of behaviour then she is almost certainly not fit to babysit anyway. And as for your hubby saying cut off contact..... Well what a lovely chap he is. She needs help, that is clear.

She needs help?

Far more likely that everyone who has come into contact with her needs help to restore their self-esteem.

moomoomama - protect yourself and your OH and, especially, your children from her. If you can't get over the guilt she had laid on you, do the minimum necessary but don't expect any thanks or approval.