Do sex txts constitue an affair?

Monkeyballs

The original post has been edited so in response to the question as it stands;

No: If it's one of these paid for services which is just an extension of a chat line OR if your oh is unable to make the sender stop and he/she is openly telling you about them.

Yes: (or likely yes) if it's from a previous partner or your oh is being secretive and responding positively to them... I say likely yes because it's hard to defend but could be a joke among friends, but probably not.

Bottom line is if you don't like them then ask for them to stop.

MB

duchy

It's all words- it doesn't matter if it is technically an affair or not.
(that sounds like someone saying "But Darling it wasn't an affair so I don't need to take responsibility for it")

It's not an affair in the same way a one night stand isn't an affair either but it does show the other person is getting sexual satisfaction elsewhere - and for me- that's a deal breaker. For me sexual intimacy needs to be exclusive in a relationship- for others the line is drawn in a different place . It simply doesn't matter where the line falls -the important thing is that the partner respects that line and doesn't cross it.

okborednow

I think in the end the classification we give what he's doing is irrelevant. The only thing that matters at this point is how it makes you feel. The big issue is that it's not his first time so he can't plead ignorance and say "I thought it would be ok" or "I didn't think you'd have a problem with it". You told him very clearly the last time that to you this behaviour is unacceptable and he's done it again with (to me anyway) blatant disregard for you and your feelings. If we add that to the fact that you seem to be pretty much in your marriage alone and raising your daughter as a single parent you have to ask yourself what you're getting out of it. We're all here to listen of you want to talk some more.

Morglin

Actually, at about £1.50 per minute, I'd be pretty miffed at DH using these anonymous sex chat lines! :eek:

None if it is 'cheating' but it's a bit insulting to the partner, so best not to do any of it.

Lin

Talukdar

I totally agree wit you. it happens.