Do sex txts constitue an affair?

Tropez

I think the original post has been edited to just the question, based on responses anyway, so I'll just reply to the question.

And I think that basically it comes down to what you think is cheating. Every person has their own definition and own tolerance levels and while some are more common than others, really it depends whether you consider it to be cheating.

And if you're with someone, they should know you well enough to know what you consider to be cheating and then not do that.

sax11

As it's been edited then the answer to the question is no if it is someone on one of the late night phones lines.

However if it is someone physical that is known then it's a yes.

justme111

No. Look up definition of an affair , it is not sex texting. Next someone will say that eyeing someone is an affair. Having said that it is not appropriate behavior and can cause as much damage depending on circumstances.

DigForVictory

Probably not. Grounds for a robust exchange of views, crockery etc though, and a significant erosion of trust.

First step, and maybe only that, but the wrong step.

thorsoak

Whilst it is not an affair, it is a situation where one partner is acting incredibly selfishly and shutting the other partner out completely. One partner is doing all the work, and the other is putting little or no effort into the relationship whatsoever.

That is why I would be asking - no, telling - him to leave now as he has been aware of how she feels but is not prepared to change his ways.

System

I don't know the context of the question in the original post,

Personally if it was sexting someone he knew or met I would consider that emotionally cheating

If it was some sex line I'd view it similar to !!!!!!, but would be uncomfortable with the interaction (I mean with !!!!!! you tend to just watch it, you don't actually interact with them)

sportbeth

Sexing is cheating if it is done in secret, behind your partners back and something that you wouldn't be comfortable showing to your partner over the dinner table, casually as if to say "look honey, this is what I did at work today!"

Believe me, I've printed out the entire 3 week conversation out and put it on the table to ask my ex if he had anything to tell me. Over dinner. It didn't lead to an open and adult conversation

Poppops

It is an affair if the texting is between the same two people and there is intent, whether or not that intent can ever be carried out.

The true term is 'emotional affair'.

It is becoming more and more common with the continued growth of social media sites. In 2011, emotional affairs on Facebook alone were cited in 1 in 5 divorces in the US.

An emotional affair can be every bit as damaging to a marriage as a real live one. When your partner is sending sex messages to someone else, they have emotionally detached themself from you.

It's time to put a stop to it, or get out.

Tink2

I would class sex texts as cheating

JIL

Was this something Vernon Kaye was up to a couple of years ago and was all over the papers?
I'm not sure why someone is a relationship would have a need to write things down and send them off. Its a bit like sexual trolling. I suppose they must get something out of it or they wouldn't do it. Can't figure out what that something is though!