Cheapest way to get married

Georgiegirl256

tillyenna wrote: »

I love all the people on here saying 'if you want to spend no money on your wedding, just do that'!

Totally possible. If you really wanted to do it that way then there's nothing stopping you whatsoever. If you want to keep your Mum's happy then just invite your parents and any siblings.

I feel sorry that you can't have the day you want because of your families.

Of course a marriage is just about 2 people. Yes you're marrying into another family, but it's your OH you are actually marrying.

Alloneword

Lovelyjoolz wrote: »

I'm happy to just rock up, grab two unsuspecting strangers and get it over and done with.

LOL Ditto that is what were doing.

All1

tillyenna

tayforth wrote: »

I agree. Surely each couple should be left in peace to decide what they want for their day, and not pressured to fit in with what their families want?

Yes - that would be just grand. Unfortunately it's not the case, my mum is VERY much of the 'keeping up with the jonses' style and if I were to have a wedding and just invite close family, she would be so disappointed in me. And then she'd put a lot of pressure on my brother when it came to be his turn to get married to have a huge wedding.


And frankly, I love my mum enough to pay 5K to keep her happy - so y'know what, maybe I am having the wedding I want. Because the wedding I want, is a wedding where my mam doesn't make a scene... ;-)


I think the wedding is about the families, the marriage - now that's what me and The Boss get to share, that's the special 'US' thing (crikey, I'm so excited to be His wife... ace!)

lazer

tillyenna wrote: »

Yes - that would be just grand. Unfortunately it's not the case, my mum is VERY much of the 'keeping up with the jonses' style and if I were to have a wedding and just invite close family, she would be so disappointed in me. And then she'd put a lot of pressure on my brother when it came to be his turn to get married to have a huge wedding.


And frankly, I love my mum enough to pay 5K to keep her happy - so y'know what, maybe I am having the wedding I want. Because the wedding I want, is a wedding where my mam doesn't make a scene... ;-)


I think the wedding is about the families, the marriage - now that's what me and The Boss get to share, that's the special 'US' thing (crikey, I'm so excited to be His wife... ace!)

I agree with - I think some consideration needs to be given to parents - they have spent their life looking after you and look forward to seeing you happily married.
Part of me would have loved a small wedding, however, my husband didn't want a small wedding, so we compromised, and it was reasonably sized (130 - which is small enough for an Irish wedding)
Our parents both wanted to have their friends attend too, so that was fine - it as important to us that they were happy too.

I think some people live in a very lonely world, and only do things that benefit them, other people don't seem to factor into some peoples lives.

seven-day-weekend

I think you should have the wedding you want and if that means doing what your parents want, then sobeit.

However, we would not have spent £20k on a wedding even if that is what our parents wanted, because we'd have thought it a waste of money. They'd have had to have compromised on a pretty but cheap wedding.

But each to their own.

lazer

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I think you should have the wedding you want and if that means doing what your parents want, then sobeit.

However, we would not have spent £20k on a wedding even if that is what our parents wanted, because we'd have thought it a waste of money. They'd have had to have compromised on a pretty but cheap wedding.

But each to their own.

I wouldn't have spent £20k on a wedding just because my parents wanted it either (If they wanted a wedding which cost more than we were prepared to pay, but would have actually liked, and they wanted to contribute to the cost - that would be fine)

Equally I wouldn't have got married abroad with just me and my husband because i know it was important to my mum to see us get married.

lostinrates

lazer wrote: »

I think some people live in a very lonely world, and only do things that benefit them, other people don't seem to factor into some peoples lives.

This could apply what ever wedding type was chosen surely? Selfishness?

Personally speaking I 'm confident it doesn't apply.

minerva_windsong

I do agree with those who've said that sometimes the wedding you want can be the wedding that keeps your parents/family/OH happy. I would have been quite happy with a small ceremony and then a disco and a buffet in a hall, but I know whilst my parents would have said 'do what you want' they would have been upset to miss the ceremony and for other family members who would have wanted to come to the ceremony, like my grandparents. Then my OH wanted a historic building but I didn't want a church, so we ended up with the venue we've got which used to be part of a medieval abbey and has been converted to a functions venue.


Don't get me wrong, it's still 'our' wedding with the elements that we originally wanted - nice food, plenty to drink and people whose company we enjoy - but if it means making those decisions to keep our parents happy, then that's fine by me. They have also very generously offered to pay for the wedding as well, and whilst I know that shouldn't dictate what we do I do feel like they should at least have some say in how their money is spent, as well as me trying to keep the costs down where I can.

tayforth

tillyenna wrote: »

Yes - that would be just grand. Unfortunately it's not the case, my mum is VERY much of the 'keeping up with the jonses' style and if I were to have a wedding and just invite close family, she would be so disappointed in me. And then she'd put a lot of pressure on my brother when it came to be his turn to get married to have a huge wedding.

And frankly, I love my mum enough to pay 5K to keep her happy - so y'know what, maybe I am having the wedding I want. Because the wedding I want, is a wedding where my mam doesn't make a scene... ;-)

I think the wedding is about the families, the marriage - now that's what me and The Boss get to share, that's the special 'US' thing (crikey, I'm so excited to be His wife... ace!)

Are you marrying God? :rotfl: (sorry, couldn't resist)

Jokes aside, I think that your mum is putting unfair pressure on you.

lazer wrote: »

I agree with - I think some consideration needs to be given to parents - they have spent their life looking after you and look forward to seeing you happily married.
Part of me would have loved a small wedding, however, my husband didn't want a small wedding, so we compromised, and it was reasonably sized (130 - which is small enough for an Irish wedding)
Our parents both wanted to have their friends attend too, so that was fine - it as important to us that they were happy too.

I think some people live in a very lonely world, and only do things that benefit them, other people don't seem to factor into some peoples lives.

Yes, they have spent their lives looking after me, and I certainly wouldn't get married without immediate family present - BUT I wouldn't have allowed them to dictate what kind of wedding I had. All the same, a little bit of compromise goes a long way.

lazer wrote: »

I wouldn't have spent £20k on a wedding just because my parents wanted it either (If they wanted a wedding which cost more than we were prepared to pay, but would have actually liked, and they wanted to contribute to the cost - that would be fine)

Equally I wouldn't have got married abroad with just me and my husband because i know it was important to my mum to see us get married.

Same here. I would want my family to be there.