Cheapest way to get married

Idiophreak

Kayalana99 wrote: »

I've been brought up not to be wasteful of money shall we say...and I know we all have different ideas but 30k ...for one day...it makes me cringe ... ><

Meh, waste is great!

When you think about it, the best things in life are wasteful...the best presents I've ever got, have they been sensible, frugal, stuff I needed? Nah, they've been things that I clearly don't need, but just really wanted anyway...stuff that I'd never normally buy myself because I "don't need it" - those are the best presents.

Have the best meals I've eaten been cheap and easy to make? Nah, they've been a ridiculous waste of time and energy, ridiculously complex processes combining to make food that is completely pointless...and delicious.

Was my wedding on a "what do we need" basis? Nah, we did *everything* that we wanted to do...and it was fantastic as a result. Greedy: probably. Indulgent: certainly. Financially prudent: Probably not. Fun: Hells yeah!

If, at the end of my life, I look back and I think the cost of my wedding was *really significant* to my overall quality of life, I'll be quite disappointed, to be honest....in reality, it constituted a couple of years' worth of money. So we could still buy that BTL house if we wanted...just a couple of years later...we could still afford to overpay the mortgage...just a couple of years later...anything we want we can have...a couple of years later. That may mean that we're 60 instead of 58 when we clear our mortgage, it may mean that my pension pays £1000/month instead of £1050...who knows what perils await in my financial future.

I guess the long and the short of it is there was something we wanted, we had the money, so we bought it

lostinrates

74jax wrote: »

I fall into the category of wanting the best price deal on nice things and luxury things.

I'm, luckily I know, no longer on the breadline, but that doesn't mean I don't want a good deal for a luxury holiday, or look around for the best price for a nice item.

This is true, and it have no problem with people spending within affordability, but I don't believe the financial breakdown of the country's financial health suggests that the 'average' wedding is within reasonable affordability of many.

When the subject has arisen before I have pointed out that what is easily affordable for individuals is not necessarily reflective of average. As a nation we are struggling, and many posts here DO include people who are struggling, and sometimes are not financially self sufficient talking about wedding plans whilst they have inadequate saving plans in place for their future in other ways. There is more than one type of 'money saver' on Mse. I'm a Scrooge in very many ways but we are 'lucky' as a result.

Do I resent others weddings? No, not at all, I think some of them are truly lovely, I am always pleased to get invitations even though I rarely go now. Do I think they'd are always wise? Nope. ( however I also Do things that aren't wise:D,)

I doubt many plan or want to be irresponsible with money, yet those who have been forced into situations where they need help from debt free or bankruptcy boards and are married almost certainly felt they could afford their weddings too.



Anyway, OP, hope it goes well.

Kayalana99

In some ways I totally agree with you.... I've just spent about £20 making my own sweet tree when I could of brought one for the same price if not cheaper...and better made!! (and if you could see it you could not help but laugh it's that bad...)

But hey I made it...I love it!!! I may of wasted money and time (did not anticipate how long it actually takes to stick 100 sweets in cocktail sticks...)

...but this isn't £20.

Sometimes its nice to let loose and buy the things you don't need but 'want', life is to be enjoyed.

I don't know if its just me but 2 years is a lot to me!! I'd rather not be working when I am 58 and have a small lovely wedding with my family then carrying on when I am 60 and having a big (lovely) wedding.

Idiophreak

Kayalana99 wrote: »

I don't know if its just me but 2 years is a lot to me!! I'd rather not be working when I am 58 and have a small lovely wedding with my family then carrying on when I am 60 and having a big (lovely) wedding.

No, of course it's a lot...but everything costs time, right?

And that's what I meant in saying that I doubt it will be significant.

I mean, if I were to never go out to dinner, eat value beans every day, single bulb light fittings...cycle to work (probably shower there too! pennies add up!), wear my pants twice and all the rest of it...I bet I could retire at 45...having never actually lived at all...

So you say to yourself..."OK, I'll spend £50/month extra on my groceries, so I can have some stuff I enjoy" - I bet that puts my retirement age back a year or two. Instead of staying at home with the lights off in my holidays, I'm going to travel a bit and see the world...oh, there goes another 5 years. I used to climb 3 times a week for a few years - that's another 2 years of working right there, say £70 week by the time petrol and food's considered. I'll drive to work...woops, another 6 years...

If all I were focussed on life was my retirement age, or my debt free date, or my mortgage free date, or a £250k savings target, sure...I'd probably regret spending so much on my wedding...

But over the course of a lifetime, the amount a wedding costs is really insignificant...I left a company a month early once...and missed out on a £10k bonus. I'll probably mis-step on the property ladder at least once and cost myself 50k...I know already that one of my pensions is performing extremely badly (I chose an ethical portfolio) and I haven't bothered to sort it out in a couple of years - I bet that will cost thousands when I come to tally everything up. All of those things will add up and I'll look back on with something resembling regret and think "yeah, that was stupid...."....but with my wedding, I'll always add "...but what a time we had!"

There's more to life than just money, you can't live with guilt every time you spend some.

lostinrates

Kayalana99 wrote: »

In some ways I totally agree with you.... I've just spent about £20 making my own sweet tree when I could of brought one for the same price if not cheaper...and better made!! (and if you could see it you could not help but laugh it's that bad...)

But hey I made it...I love it!!! I may of wasted money and time (did not anticipate how long it actually takes to stick 100 sweets in cocktail sticks...)

...but this isn't £20.

Sometimes its nice to let loose and buy the things you don't need but 'want', life is to be enjoyed.

I don't know if its just me but 2 years is a lot to me!! I'd rather not be working when I am 58 and have a small lovely wedding with my family then carrying on when I am 60 and having a big (lovely) wedding.

I think of the two years as 730 odd days DH and I could spend together , rather than the one. ( though doubt he'll retire then anyway.)

What we might be considering is a change in work schedule where he sacrifices career progression for more time off in the future, this kind of freedom, of a more meaning ful life change is potentially more worthwhile to us, depending on different circumstances.

Eta: its all finacial'spend' but its the delayed gratification balanced with worth. No one day would balance the option of DH having choices like working a four day week.

In our case my parents were paying for our wedding. Our deciding not to have a big wedding meant my father was able to retire a year earlier. ( with other factors). Our wedding was unfortunately a bit all or nothing, with family across the globe in demanding roles with conflicting schedules. Never once was the fact my father was recouping costs of wedding told to is or decision would have come sooner!

Kayalana99

lostinrates wrote: »

I think of the two years as 730 odd days DH and I could spend together , rather than the one. ( though doubt he'll retire then anyway.)

What we might be considering is a change in work schedule where he sacrifices career progression for more time off in the future, this kind of freedom, of a more meaning ful life change is potentially more worthwhile to us, depending on different circumstances.

Yes exactly. I'd rather spend an extra 730 days with my partner in compassion to one.

I think what I am missing with what I am saying ~ is I don't feel the need for the 10k + wedding, I am having 50 day guests and 100 evening guests for a sit down / buffet ...all within a reason (ish) budget and without all the expensive extras that are pushed on us but not needed.

To me ~ to spend 30k on a wedding say...is wasteful, because you could have such a lovely day for 2k or 5k...etc end day all that matters is you have your health and your partner and to celebrate with your family ...all the other stuff is simply extras that you can do without....and the cost can be however much you make it to be.

tara747

Each to their own, absolutely. We are all entitled to our own spending priorities - and our own opinions.

And when I hear of someone spending £30K on their wedding and spending the next 2-3 years justifying it all over MSE, I think ROTFL. :rotfl:

74jax

tara747 wrote: »

Each to their own, absolutely. We are all entitled to our own spending priorities - and our own opinions.

And when I hear of someone spending £30K on their wedding and spending the next 2-3 years justifying it all over MSE, I think ROTFL. :rotfl:

A lot of the time it's justifying it as people ask. I don't think many deliberately come on to explain why they spent that, but it's explaining their reasons just like people justify why they spent less ,.

seven-day-weekend

It is not about the bling, it wasn't the fancy dress or the cars that cost the money - it was the guests mainly, with a large family (Minimum guest list with just parent, siblings, aunts & uncles would be well over 50).

It was about making the day special and sharing it with the people that our important to us and about showing our appreciation to the people that have loved and supported us for years.

To me it was not about making it legal, we are both religious, weren't living together beforehand etc, it was about declaring our love for each other and making a committement to each other before God and before our family and friends. It was the start of our lives together.

I personally consider any car costing over about £8k a complete waste of money - and would not spend anywhere near that, but a lot of people would think a new car costing about £15k could be a bargain! A cheaper car does the same job gets you from A - B, the same as a cheaper wedding has the same outcome as an expensive one (ie: you are legally married at the end of it). I wouldn't however say to someone wo had bought an expensive new car that they were bonkers, that they could have paid the deposit on a house with that money etc. It is fully up to them how they spend their money.

A wedding, the start of a marriage, is much more important to me than some consumer goods, a car, gadgets, a holiday or whatever, it was money well spent. (And my husbands car is 12 years old, mine is 8, so we save money on other things)


We were not religious when we got married, but came to faith later and then we retook our vows in church, we did not spend a fortune then either.

Look, it's your wedding, you must do what you want, the same as we did. You don't need to justify yourself. And neither do I for thinking spending £20k on a wedding a huge waste of money.

And I DID apologise for calling people bonkers.

Can we just leave it now please.

((and our last car was 20 years old and was replaced two years ago by one costing £6k).

Alloneword

AnnieO1234 wrote: »

OP are you just wanting the bare minimum as in just turn up in your street clothes for half an hour? If yes then £125 is the cheapest.

Yes this is the deal for us then.
Thanks for everyone's feedback as for spending what i would call silly money on the big day, it's your money so you spend it the way you like, it's what makes you and your other half happy, as for me well i'd rather spend the other money on myself or the Mrs no point in lining someone else's pocket when i can buy a new plasma

All1

And before anyone asks no you can't bloody come !!!!!! off and get your own beer.