Fear of doctors!

hazyjo

Okay, I admit it. I'm scared of going to the doctor. I have no idea why. I go if I'm at death's door, and I ALWAYS cry. I have put off a smear test for some time (please - don't! I know, I really do!), I didn't rejoin a new doctors when I moved house in 2011 and I have just tried to make an appointment at my old surgery for a smear test (moved back into area a year ago) and apparently I've been struck off for not going/replying to post.

ARGHHHH.

I now have to sign up with a new one (gonna go to one BF recently joined). The BF is soooo good. Such wonderful support. But sometimes that makes me less strong. I just turn into a five year old and cry.

I'm worried they'll think I'm depressed. I don't think I am, but have had a horrendous few years. I could put it down to that, but then I remember crying YEARS before that and feeling this way about doctors.

It's just this overwhelming fear of what, I'm not sure.

I am SO logical when it comes to other people. I took charge of sorting the BF's doc out. Did the research, filled out most the form, printed him off a map, made him register and basically nagged (and supported!), told him not to be such a big girl about going to a new doctors (he hates change), but then there's me, a nervous wreck.

I need to lose weight - maybe that's part of my fear. Size 18. But then I also think they're going to tell me something or find something. Dad died of cancer (and battled for 6 years), but I was like this before that prognosis (and I'm not blood related as was adopted).

I was very nearly like this at the opticians last week. Used to be alright, but got called back the last time (was fine the 2nd time) but that put the fear of god up me. Kept thinking they were going to tell me I had a brain tumour/diabetes/cancer or something this time when I went. Thankfully they said my eyes were in excellent health.

Yes, I do think I've always been like this.

Suppose I just wondered if anyone else has this unnatural fear or if it's just me. Any tips (apart from valium!)?

(Never used to mind the dentist, but have avoided them for years too since they said I needed a root canal filling which I don't think I did (no pain since, no infection that I know of, and my teeth haven't fallen out).)

I am such a wuss. Help!

Jx

lostinrates

Iatrophobia.

Yes, I have it. , I find it quite weird as in most other ways I'm reasonably pragmatic. I don't mind procedures at all, but consultations are very difficult and I can get quite upset. . Mine has developed during treatment for chronic illness.

Tell the doctor, definitely, and remind them at the beginning of each appointment. you can tell the practice in advance too, you might get the most sympathetic GP to be registered with.

It might also be worth trying to work through it. When you need their helpits useful to Be able to get in and know that basic checks, like blood pressure, won't be too distorted by anxiety.

fivetide

I am with you on the dentist - I was told by one (NHS) i needed several fillings but i declined to have them done.

I went private and the dentist declared I had amazing teeth and I've not needed anything done to them, ever and this has been 8 years since I apparently needed lots of expensive work doing. Call me a cynic but I think the first guy was basically having a laugh at the NHS' expense.

With doctors though, that's different. Is it doctors (all doctors) or is it male doctors? Would it be better to see a female doc for this sort of thing?

I too only go when I'm at death's door though. Apart from the hassle of getting a blooming appointment it's usually several hours sat in a room catching flu bugs while you wait to be seen.

marisco_2

Interesting thread. I don't fear doctors as such but I will only ever see one doctor at my local surgery, even if that means delaying possible treatment till a time when he is available. I had an extremely nasty incident thanks to the inability and unprofessionalism of a locum once, and now no longer trust my health in anyone else's hands.

Don't even get me started about dentists though :eek:. I hate them all with a passion, and come out in a cold sweat even at the thought of booking an appointment. I am OCD fanatical about my dental hygiene, mainly done in the hopes of never having to need their services. I have had to be very careful to not show all this in front of my children, as I don't want them to be saddled with the same fears as their mother.

lostinrates

marisco wrote: »

Interesting thread. I don't fear doctors as such but I will only ever see one doctor at my local surgery, even if that means delaying possible treatment till a time when he is available. I had an extremely nasty incident thanks to the inability and unprofessionalism of a locum once, and now no longer trust my health in anyone else's hands.
.

This is part of what goes in to mine, and also, I get a lot of bad news at doctors.

BUT, I don't think its that good a plan. Your GP cannot give you all your care. With the best will in the world, their own future plans might inhibit your coping mechanism ( relocation, or their own health issues), or yours....a GP referral can be awkward of one's coping mechanism relies on seeing a selected one or two.

I will very readily refuse to see someone again, For example, after two years I have decided my neurologist is not for me. The appointments have always been difficult and it turns out there is a very serious risk her oversight has meant that something that should have been investigated has cost me some time. It might be ruled out, rather than in, but never the less, it needed to be investigated.

I see a total of eight consultants or departments now, and by seeing alternatives have sometimes found BETTER treatment, and a junior made a breakthrough two years ago. .

What I do is I research the best I can. If the thing currently being researched now turns out to be an issue it know where I need to be referred to and under whose care, and I know the reputation of this person is the beside manner is not great. I can cope with that if I know they are 'among the best' .

I have yet to find a GP who is as great as the private GPs I've had, and there are no private GP's local to me. Because of the nature of my health if need to be near a GP, otherwise I'd go to my nearest city for a one who had the time to truly coordinate and orchestrate my situation.


I think being 'realistic' about what they can offer us in the time slot is also helpful. There are some really great doctors out there. That junior was incredible, so kind, so incredibly kind, she called me at home afterwards to follow up. The lastest referring guy has texted my husband every single day from last appoint ment till Easter when I think he went on holiday. These are EXCEPTIONAL, and one cannot expect this for routine care from normal practitioners.

My GP did remember that my blood pressure was always good when DH rang in alarm and was put straight through to him, and that's pretty impressive. While a rare case probably stands out, I still think that's an impressive feat and more than i expected. I'd be happier if he had to refer to my notes, but was making sure symptoms weren't missed by consultants they didn't apply to, so new things didn't go 'missed' like this latest possible thing might have done. I don't see how he can in a short time frame though.

We also have to take responsibility for our own care. My worst fault is putting raising things off to avoid an appointment. This no doctor can help with. Its not their fault if we don't go to them.

elsien

hazyjo wrote: »

I have put off a smear test for some time (please - don't! I know, I really do!),

Jx

Just wanted to say this particular bit isn't just you. I had a recall because of a problem with an insufficient sample (or something) and it took me 6 years of reminder letters before I plucked up the courage to go back. Luckily it all turned out ok, but even though I knew I really needed to go I just kept putting it off and putting it off . I didn't realise how long I'd put it off for until I got there. I knew how stupid I was being, but it didn't seem to make any difference until a friend practically frogmarched me in. Then they were so good I couldn't remember what I'd been scared of.
I don't have any practical suggestions other than the blindingly obvious one of finding somewhere you feel comfortable with. How many choices do you have? - some surgeries just feel that little bit more welcoming as you walk in the door.

Buick

I think these fears don't just come from nowhere. Maybe it's the feeling of things being out of your control, or of doctors having control over you/your body?

Smears are recommended, obviously, but it's entirely up to YOU whether you want to have one done, - YOUR body YOUR choice!! I mention this because sometimes fear of being pestered about a smear test can put women off going to the doctors for other reasons, which of course is detrimental to the patient's health. I think the medics need to have this fed back to them, as it's probably a lot more common that you might think.

No-one should be struck off the doctors list for not having a smear, if that's what you were saying?

hazyjo

Thanks all (lostinrates you've certainly been through it!) Will reply and add more when at computer tomorrow and not on phone.

Hugs to you all. Thanks for your stories. It helps. elsien, I feel for you. I had a recall when I was about 18. Just a letter. Turned out it was nothing - they didn't get enough cells - but I thought the worst. I remember meeting my BF on a bench in a London square shaking and sobbing. I wonder if some of this goes back to that time.

Seen close friends deal with a brain tumour, another thyroid cancer, tumour on pancreas (this year but thankfully finally told not cancer). I think it just makes me more anxious/paranoid.

Anyway, will reply to others tomorrow.

Jx

bagpussbear

You have my sympathy. Although I don't fear doctors, I do fear needles - terribly so. I'm putting off a bunion operation, and turned down a heart (ablation) procedure because of it :-(

So I know the fear of going to the doctor too. You aren't alone OP!

duloch

Can sympathise with you, I'm not too bad with doctors however very rarely go. It's hospitals I have the problem with can't even go visiting without fainting or an anxiety attack.

Gigervamp

Buick wrote: »

Smears are recommended, obviously, but it's entirely up to YOU whether you want to have one done, - YOUR body YOUR choice!!

I made the choice not to have smear tests. I'd get the letters and kept putting off making the appointment.

I now have stage 3b cervical cancer. It can't be removed as it's too close to my sciatic nerve (and removing it would have involved a hysterectomy, and parts of my bladder and bowel removed, leading to having to wear stoma bags for both of those functions). I also have one kidney not working and a stent in the other.

This cancer will kill me. Don't know when, but soon enough.

OP, please have a smear. They're often done by the practice nurse. If you want more information about having a smear, check out Jo's Trust.

Please don't end up like me. x