I Appreciate the thought, but...

BrassicWoman

my mother thinks my house has the biggest cupboards ever because lots of things she's given me are stored away Clothes I keep for best, etc etc!

if there's no room, there's no room! She may not even notice. An absent minded "no, not sure where it is..." works wonders.

Brighton_belle

Molly41 wrote: »

Just be grateful that she is so generous. As long as she is not getting into debt then she is doing what makes her happy. She really helps you out with childcare so it would be difficult to discuss.
Maybe she could not afford it for her own kids and is making it up to yours?

I can't entirely agree Molly; 'generosity' can be merely the imposing of your own will to meet you own needs without regard to others needs. True generosity is asking if it is ok to buy this and being clear you won't be offended if you say no.


Imposing huge amount of clutter on someone else's home can be enormously stressful. It makes a house much harder to clean too, so creates more stress that way and needs more energy to sort out.
Also children with excessive mounts of toys play less, and less creatively than those who have had limits imposed. It also sets a precedent of expectation in a child.

tiny_courageous

"as granny buys you all these lovely things why don't we leave them at her house so you can play with them with her".

and repeat.

mrcow

Absolutely leave them at hers so he can play with them there.

Perhaps she won't feel the need to buy so much then!

stimpy27

I have had the same problem, I asked my DH to speak to his mum and explain we were running out of room and that I was finding it difficult to make birthdays and christmas special as my kids saw everyday as present day. We made out that all the family members were doing it and we spoke to everyone so not to single MIL out.

I then started bagging anything that found its way to our house and when MIL visited I'd give her the bag and says "oh you left this here last week". It didn't tale long for the message to get across!

I wasn't hugely popular with the kids though!:rotfl:

Kaz2904

My MiL did this with both kids when they were little. Same with clothes. I tried bagging things up to keep at hers but it didn't work. I had to wait until my kids were old enough to understand the 1 in 1 out approach- which of course made me a biat ch!
Wish they would just listen and look around themselves once in a whiles.

emweaver

If you don't want to risk upsetting her you could sell the toys and give him the money. Giving him money won't give her the same satisfaction as a toy.

red_devil

Your children, your rules, there is no need to spil children with material things all the time. Some people have no sense.

suggest she adopts a child in a foreign country wjo dosent have anything.

beautiful_ravens

Its a toughie.

I had to accept all sorts of junk from my ex's mother in law, some really odd things too. I think MIL is always going to be someone you cant quite say what you want to, unlike your own mum, and so theres always going to be these sorts of issues, its just part of having a mother in law I guess! Id just deal with it, because if your circumstances change, she might be the one who can help you out with kids stuff.

Every so often I box toys and stuff up and see who misses what, and if nobody notices, it all goes, be it ebay, charity shop or freecycle. I try not to think about who will notice anyway. I will just say, "Oooo, I dont know where THAT has got to" to all of them. Its worked for 13 years so far and no ones got upset.

BitterAndTwisted

Kids can get overwhelmed with too much choice. You could decide to pack the majority away and bring them out later, afresh. Or, of course, you could bag up the things he's not touched in X months and take them all to a charity shop. Meanwhile mention MIL that your home is crowded out with too much kiddy-stuff and you don't think he needs any more at the moment. Anything new she'd like to buy for him goes to her house.