Wondering if my toddler may have mild autism or similar?

easterbunny79

Hi people :-)
I just joined to seek advice so please be gentle!
Firstly I will say that I have made a GP appointment which is at the end of April but looking for advice or similar experiences.
My LO is 17 months old, he's a lovely cuddly, happy little boy whom I love to bits :-) but recently I have been reading up on things as I feel he is not hitting some milestones.
He doesn't talk, never has and doesn't even babble, he just makes noise likes blowing raspberries mostly,if I say his name he pretty much ignores me (or anyone else) like he can't hear, but I know he can because he loves music & his favourite tv programmes plus he passed his baby hearing tests. he doesn't point to things, nor does he wave, he doesn't indicate that he wants things, it's nearly like a telepathic bond between us, he makes different noises for things he wants-usually a different kind of cry/squeal, it's hard to explain. He seems to hate other people & children. He lives being home, in the car , the play park (loves the swing-hates coming off it!) & going for walks. If we go into any shop or toddler group or baby class or even if I try to visit a friend with a LO the same age he cries and gets himself so worked up he's nearly sick so we have to go within 10 mins. The people that run the baby classes & toddler groups have suggested going early before others get there to see if that helps him, but so far it's made no difference, he looks for the doors and is desperate to get out. I did speak to my HV who i didn't feel really listened and said I was comparing him to my older two children (they are now teens) as they were very advanced when they were babies/toddlers. Sometimes I think I'm reading to much google and working myself up when really he's just a normal 17 month old, but then other times I'm convinced there's a problem. Either way I will continue to love him to bits!

easterbunny79

I forgot to say that he is cuddly with me only and pushes most other people away.

Brenny

From what you describe there does appear to be something that needs further investigation but it isn't something that anyone should attempt to "diagnose" here. My dgd has ASD and can't be in a room with a lot of other children due to sensory issues. But that may or may not be what is causing your ds to cry. Hugs and best wishes to you and good luck in moving forwards.

sassyblue

Welcome to the boards. :beer:

The lack of speech would worry me, but you mention your almost telepathic bond. Is it possible you're anticipating his needs so that your DS doesn't need to ask?

My DS was never confident at play group, he was and still is a gentle soul and not boisterous so the play group stuff wouldn't bother me. Neither would the leaving home my LO was like it and still is happiest when we don't do anything but stay in.

I would go to that appointment with your concerns just to let someone else see your son, you are mum and you do know best.

easterbunny79

Hi & thanks for your replies :-) when I spoke to my HV it was about 4 weeks ago, she also suggested that I was maybe anticipating his needs. I have been making a conscious effort to try not to but it's not really working. For example I'm still breast feeding, when he wants a feed he makes a certain noise if I pretend I don't know what he wants and encourage him to ask or if I ask if that's what he wants he climbs up and lies himself down, if he's hungry for food he will never say, I have a day routine for when he has his meals, but if he's hungry in between that then the only way I know is because he continuously wants a breast feed but its not satisfying him, after he's been up a coye of times then il realise he's needing a snack.

meritaten

I can understand your concern especially about the speech and not asking for things.
my cousin is a lot younger than me and I used to babysit him and his older sister. and the 'telepathic' bond was there too. he didn't speak until he was nearly three as his sister just 'knew' what he wanted! and his first word was 'football'! which he used for everything.
on his first parents evening at school the teacher was saying how bright he was and how good he was in class, and my aunt asked her if she was talking about HER son? he is grown up now and has a first class degree a wife and sons of his own and a darn good job! I am not trying to make light of your worry - you may be right to be worried. But, children do develop differently and he may not be at the speaking or socialising stage yet. it never hurts to see the GP though and it may be that early intervention could be called for.

Fredula

My little boy didn't start speaking until just after his second birthday. I wasn't worried about it though (although the health visitor was a little concerned at his 2 year check).

What is your homelife like? Does LO spend the majority of his time with you or do you have other care givers? Could it perhaps be a case that he's so used to you that when he's at the toddler groups or with your friends he just feels shy and wants your attention soley on him? My LO hates it when I interact with other children - he gets upset and will cry.

Also, similarly to your LO, my LO looks for the doors and one mention of the word 'home' and he's practically dragging me out of the door (although I think this has more to do with the fact that I had PND and didn't take him out much so we were indoors lots). Could this be similar to you in any way?

I think talking it over with a doctor may put your mind at rest. I don't think you should worry too much or you might make LO anxious. Good luck

easterbunny79

He is with me basically 100% of the time, so he is also very clingy to me. I have tried taking him out to things so that he's seeing plenty other people too & kids his age but at the moment he's not interested! When we go to these groups I've never even gotten the chance to put him down before he's in a panic. The last day we tried was Friday, I carried him all the way and tried to be bubbly & playful with him incase he was picking up on my anxieties about his...but as soon as we turned the corner to where the group of rooms were I could feel him suddenly tense and start to grip onto me. He's only just learned to walk so isn't quite confident enough to walk himself so if I do manage to put him down I'm holding his hand. I don't want to push him into things he's not comfortable with but want to be able to show drs & HV's that I'm trying to socialise him. I think I will still keep the GP appointment but I just a bit worried that they laugh me back out the door for suggesting there's a possible problem. It's maybe just his nature?!

meritaten

easterbunny - my 1st son was clingy - we had to give up on 'playgroup' as he literally wouldn't let me put him down! he just wasn't ready and he was three years old then! he was fine by the time he entered school reception class (tho we skipped nursery too).
Daughter was completely different - she was always happy to go off and do her own thing and play with others.
2nd son was mostly in hospital - but he wasn't as clingy as No1 son.
I don't believe in 'forcing' matters - I think its better to withdraw and try again in a few weeks.

easterbunny79

I agree, I'm not taking him to anymore for a while as its just upsetting him & I will explain that to the HV, a few people had said that he won't settle in nursery if he's not going to things now, but that's nearly 2 years away...but I do need to go to shops and would like to be able to visit friends tho so not sure how to get around that. I got him sunglasses thinking that if he would wear them he might feel like he's hiding, but he won't wear them...just wants to eat them lol!

dizzyblonde82

I would take him to the GP and see what they say, they should be able to offer some advice.

My son was delayed with some areas of development and I talked to my HV but they put it down to him being poorly at 6 weeks old and losing half his body weight.

He didn't like shops and busy areas and never played with other children at play groups. When he started nursery at 18 months his behavior was a concern with him throwing things and hitting other children.

My son is now 8 and was diagnosed at aged 5 with ASD - he hit other children as to him it seemed easier than asking them to move out of the way. I rarely take him food shopping as it distresses him - if we do go he normally causes a huge scene in the shop. He doesn't communicate well with children as he has such an advanced vocabulary the other children don't understand what he is saying most of the time.

We had his hearing checked which came back fine on the tests but we often have to repeat ourselves over and over as he is in his own little world most of the time.