Feeling a bit 'disconnected' tonight...

meritaten

kayalana - have you spoken to your HV or GP about how you feel? I think you should. I don't want to 'diagnose' on here, but think you are rather down and would benefit from talking to them.

wapow

Get some headphones on, put on some gangster rap like NWA.
You'll be bouncing in no time

FatVonD

Is it possible you were excluded because your OH was working and they knew you would be at home with the kids or are you maybe not as closely related as the others that are invited (are they all blood relatives?) and would you actually want to go along anyway??

You're not alone with being socially awkward, I hate large gatherings of people and 'mingling' with people I have little or no interest in, I'd far rather be holed up in a corner somewhere with just a few people that I can actually relate to.

Disclaimer: Not offering medical advice but a trip to your GP may be in order as this doesn't sound like your usual posts.

PS The little one waking in the night, is he/she getting to sleep on their own when they first go down or are you getting them to sleep (rocking/feeding etc.)

Kayalana99

Thank you for all your advice before, (FV I only just say your post)

It made sense I wasn't invited really I mean end day they aren't my family (I mean I guess they are a 2nd family but you know what I mean) but I couldn't help but think in another life I would of been invited if I had clicked with them a bit more ...I get why...I just was feeling a bit down about myself I guess.

I feel a lot better in general ~ I was seriously considering going to my GP but I've been to the park twice this week and been topping myself up with Pepsi (caffeine ) and I've had so much more energy, plus getting out a bit has forced me to be a bit more organised and breaks the day up a bit.

I think what really was a turning point today is my eldest had a screaming fit whilst I was trying to get him into the pram (worse one ever might I add) and I wasn't getting stressed about it but finding it a bit amusing..which just feels like I have got 'me' back.

I just need to find a way to stay positive I think and get out more.

I think perhaps part of my problem is I get upset when I am excluded from things but I never make the effort to arrange anything myself in which I invite people...so I have basically planned my own birthday this year got my friends together + invited one of the girls on my OH side who is about my age and who organised the girls night in first place.

P.s It's more me on the sleep front tbf, the eldest can be a bit of a pain as he wants to sleep in our bed but the youngest actually goes to sleep by himself in his cot! ...it still surprises me as DS1 never did that (always wanted cuddles etc) but like last night, he wakes up at 3am for feeding and by the time I have made his bottle and fed him he is asleep again and I am wide awake ...so I have been up since 3am.. I just am not great with sleep never have been.

23 tomorrow...this is going to be my year.

Desecrated_Landscape

Kayalana99 wrote: »

Hiya guys,

Just feeling a bit on the low (and yes perhaps a bit bored to as OH is working the night shift)

I just feel like me and OH aren't really talking much atm ~ don't get me wrong I love him we are happy in general he does so much for me ~ but I just feel a bit disconnected should we say, their is also the added bonus that tonight his family are having a 'girls night' and I can't help but think that in another life I would of been invited.

I love OH's family but I don't fit in well with most people, I can have a 'nice' conversation with them but they would not choose to spend time with me (more they do because I am OH's partner ofc and the grand kiddies)

Life has become a bit to routineish... obv having two kids under two it would! Little one is demanding to be fed 24/7 (seriously the first two hours of my day is bottle...breakfast...bottle lol)

I am not getting out much but I am not sleeping much either that even getting out for a walk is so much effort...and I have started having a bit of anxiety as well (probably stupid but I don't feel 'safe' on my own like I am going to get attacked or something not sure where this has come from)

I am feeling very much in a rut and not sure how to break out of it....and I'm having one of those 'what's wrong with me' days.

If you are not feeling safe on your own, why not take up a martial art? Not only will it increase your stamina, but will also tire you out so you sleep well, make you feel safe and get you in to a new social circle. I'm a 1st kyu in aikido, dont have enough time to go on to 1st dan but there are so many middle aged women who do it and you would really enjoy it.

venetianlagoon

Desecrated_Landscape wrote: »

If you are not feeling safe on your own, why not take up a martial art? Not only will it increase your stamina, but will also tire you out so you sleep well, make you feel safe and get you in to a new social circle. I'm a 1st kyu in aikido, dont have enough time to go on to 1st dan but there are so many middle aged women who do it and you would really enjoy it.

OMG is 23 middle aged now? haha I do hope not.

quidsy

I'm going to give you some valuable advice from someone who has been together with my oh for 15 years.

If you are feeling a bit disconnected with you oh then get off the bladdy internet & have a conversation with him about it or go for a walk with him & the kids or even just a heart to heart over a cup of tea & biscuits once the kids are in bed.

There is an relatively new saying but it is valid none the less;

The first sign of a good relationship is no sign of it on the internet.

maman

Just read your thread and called by to wish you a happy birthday for tomorrow.


I'm glad you're feeling a bit brighter than you did a few days ago.


What I'd suggest is that you spend some time pampering yourself when the grandmas have the children not cleaning the house! So do your hair, nails, eyebrows, soak in the bath with smellies, go to the gym etc. It may sound a bit superficial but if you feel good about yourself then you'll give out confidence.

Desecrated_Landscape

venetianlagoon wrote: »

OMG is 23 middle aged now? haha I do hope not.

Words can not describe how much of a plonker i feel right now i never knew she was 23! Loads of young people do it too like myself for example so i hope she considers trying it. Most martial arts give a free trial period as well.

Sorry OP for saying you are middle aged but the way you wrote it made me feel you were

venetianlagoon

Hole and digging deeper come to mind here.