Feeling a bit 'disconnected' tonight...

Kayalana99

Hiya guys,

Just feeling a bit on the low (and yes perhaps a bit bored to as OH is working the night shift)

I just feel like me and OH aren't really talking much atm ~ don't get me wrong I love him we are happy in general he does so much for me ~ but I just feel a bit disconnected should we say, their is also the added bonus that tonight his family are having a 'girls night' and I can't help but think that in another life I would of been invited.

I love OH's family but I don't fit in well with most people, I can have a 'nice' conversation with them but they would not choose to spend time with me (more they do because I am OH's partner ofc and the grand kiddies)

Life has become a bit to routineish... obv having two kids under two it would! Little one is demanding to be fed 24/7 (seriously the first two hours of my day is bottle...breakfast...bottle lol)

I am not getting out much but I am not sleeping much either that even getting out for a walk is so much effort...and I have started having a bit of anxiety as well (probably stupid but I don't feel 'safe' on my own like I am going to get attacked or something not sure where this has come from)

I am feeling very much in a rut and not sure how to break out of it....and I'm having one of those 'what's wrong with me' days.

MrsAtobe

Bit of tough love here, but what would make you feel safer when you are on your own?

Would doing something about that help you sleep better?

I remember seeing a documentary about the Manic Street Preachers I their early days (stay with me) and Richey Edwards said something that has stayed with me to this day, I can't remember the exact words, (and I can't find the quote online either) but the gist was this:

Part of the human condition is to take things that are amazing and make them seem humdrum and ordinary.

That said I do feel the same as you, life has become a routine and I long to break out of it, if you find a way, please let me know how?

Kayalana99

I don't suppose it's really me I just don't feel like I'd be in a position to protect the kids if I was 'attacked'

The sleeping is mainly due to having the kids eldest gets up at 7am but little one doesn't sleep till late and wakes me up in the night and I have trouble dropping off once I'm up, not much to do with that really but wait it out.

That does kind of make sense (the saying)

Will do but not hoping! Lottery win perhaps?

meritaten

I am not sure I understand your post, but are you feeling 'excluded'? from the 'girly night'?
and the not sleeping well - yeah that's new mum syndrome or it may be something else. you do need to make the effort to get out though. I don't mean clubbing etc, but, out into the fresh air. a half hour out in the sun, or rain! and some fresh air helps. staying indoors 24/7 is bad for you.

meritaten

Kayalana99 wrote: »

I don't suppose it's really me I just don't feel like I'd be in a position to protect the kids if I was 'attacked'

The sleeping is mainly due to having the kids eldest gets up at 7am but little one doesn't sleep till late and wakes me up in the night and I have trouble dropping off once I'm up, not much to do with that really but wait it out.

That does kind of make sense (the saying)

Will do but not hoping! Lottery win perhaps?

Why do you think you may be attacked Kayalana?

flutterby_lil

Sending hugs from another mum stuck in a routine with 2 children and feeling bored!

ska_lover

Kayalana -

I have to totally agree with Post number 2 - and the sentiment of this:-Part of the human condition is to take things that are amazing and make them seem humdrum and ordinary.

You have an amazing life - yet you are LOOKING for things to whittle about. You have two young children, who no doubt adore you, and a husband who is willing to work all hours to provide for you.

Start thinking more 'glass half full' than the other way round.

Why have his family not invited you to the girls night? You say that they would not choose to spend time with you, but (sorry if this is harsh) do you honestly not think that this is something to do with your seemingly negative demeanor? (Maybe you are just having a rough night, but just the feel I get from your post that everything is wrong)

There is nothing more draining and boring than being around negatove folks who constantly whinge and moan where there are no ACTUAL issues - IYSWIM. In real life, I honestly do tend avoid someone with that kind of attitude like the plague, as it sucks the life out of other people. I have broken off friendships with women who court drama

With reference to you being attacked - you really are looking for problems that are not there. Lock your doors, secure your house and keep your mobile nearby incase of emergencys. You cannot spend your life fretting.


Enjoy life - You have it far better than many

So sorry if this comes across as uncaring, and it really isn't but mate, you come across as really needing a kick up the arris. There are people out there with real problems, there is another post on this board this very minute reference a poster who's daughter was killed recently - its heartbreaking stuff, but makes us all realise how lucky we are

Kayalana99

We don't live in the best area - maybe not so much that bad I would need to be worried but it doesn't help...it could happen...and during the day the park is pretty empty and I guess just not used to being by myself outside..it's really bad I do need to get out more.

Thank you Flutterby x

Kayalana99

ska_lover wrote: »

Kayalana -

I have to totally agree with Post number 2 - and the sentiment of this:-Part of the human condition is to take things that are amazing and make them seem humdrum and ordinary.

You have an amazing life - yet you are LOOKING for things to whittle about. You have two young children, who no doubt adore you, and a husband who is willing to work all hours to provide for you.

Start thinking more 'glass half full' than the other way round.

Why have his family not invited you to the girls night? You say that they would not choose to spend time with you, but (sorry if this is harsh) do you honestly not think that this is something to do with your seemingly negative demeanor? There is nothing more draining than being around folks who constantly whinge and moan where there are no ACTUAL issues - IYSWIM, in real life, I honestly do tend avoid someone with that kind of attitude like the plague, as it sucks the life out of other people.

With reference to you being attacked - you really are looking for problems that are not there. Lock your doors, secure your house and keep your mobile nearby incase of emergencys. You cannot spend your life fretting.


Enjoy life - You have it far better than many

Yes I do! I know this I am grateful for my OH and two kids but same time can't shake the feeling of not being good enough, simple things are seeming a struggle atm I think mainly it's just the energy I lack...as stupid as it sounds. I don't really think I moan that much - esp not to other halfs side the only time I say a negative thing is when asked a direct question that would be a lie if I didn't....but I think (maybe I just don't know) I just don't know what to say to people so I come across boring? *shurgs*

I know I am not exactly having problems as such but I think the routine just gets to you + just in a slightly down mood tonight because of being excluded from something...again.

yes...a kick up the *** would be the right way to go!

ska_lover

Kayalana99 wrote: »

Yes I do! I know this I am grateful for my OH and two kids but same time can't shake the feeling of not being good enough, simple things are seeming a struggle atm I think mainly it's just the energy I lack...as stupid as it sounds. I don't really think I moan that much - esp not to other halfs side the only time I say a negative thing is when asked a direct question that would be a lie if I didn't....but I think (maybe I just don't know) I just don't know what to say to people so I come across boring? *shurgs*

I know I am not exactly having problems as such but I think the routine just gets to you + just in a slightly down mood tonight because of being excluded from something...again.

It is a real drain looking after two small kids, and you mentioning a lack of energy could be a sign of depression?

I always think I come across as boring in group situations, as if there are too many people all talking at once, I become very disjointed and struggle to keep up with the conversation and just end up laughing at an inappropriate moment or something daft

Dont be hard on yourself though, you cant help how you feel. Do you do anything away from the home and kids?

Kayalana99

No not really, my Mum and OH mum have them for a morning a week but I spend this time catching up on housework or orders(small business), me and OH usually spend the weekend shopping + visiting family. We did start going out on Sat mornings with kids but now he has been working a few night shifts last few weeks so thats not happened lately.

I have heard people saying that before lack of energy being a sign of depression but I don't think I am ~ I just don't have the get up and go to do much atm.

We have a holiday a month from today it just so happens, I'm really hoping having a decent break/change will lighten my mood...