Do I Have To Have A Service/Funerla?

Mojisola

Snapelover wrote: »

Isn't this supposed to be about my wishes though, not theirs?

You won't be there, will you?:)

Of course, you can leave instructions on how you want your body to be dealt with. In most cases, your executors/next of kin will respect what you want but they may also have some kind of ceremony/memorial separately. A funeral or memorial service can be very cathartic for those left behind.

whodathunkit

Snapelover wrote: »

Isn't this supposed to be about my wishes though, not theirs?

A massive cross on the wall, stained glass arch shaped windows and dark wooden wall panels and pews. Need I go on?

It's not the paperwork that bothers me but I suppose I could get all that sorted and it's just one thing less for my family to deal with. So are you saying that the family can over ride my wishes? If so, what is the point in me sorting anything out then?
That's what I want.

I do have a cousin who is a funeral director so I suppose I could have a word with her as she lives local and will know all the possibilities available to me.

No, funerals are for those left behind - you won't be there.

Snapelover

whodathunkit wrote: »

No, funerals are for those left behind - you won't be there.

Well, If that's the case I won't bother doing anything then. :rotfl:

dzug1

irishjohn wrote: »

why not just donate your body to the local medical school for research

I believe they are picky about which ones they accept - and they do prefer instructions on what to do when they have finished with you

BobQ

Unless you see your family regularly, you could just ask a friend or funeral directot to arrange the funeral as per your instructions and not tell your relatives until it is over by sending letters you have prepared in life.

madbadrob

A cross and stained glass window do not make a religious building. A crematorium building is non denominational to cover all religions and those with no religion. Stained glass is seen as more appealing that plain glass even if the picture contained within does have religious connotations. As for donating your organs as with death at the end of the day that will be the decision of your next of kin and the hospital.

Whilst a fear of death is normal amongst the young I always tell my kids it is nothing different to going to sleep other than its a sleep you will not awaken from.

Rob

Crabapple

Snapelover wrote: »

Isn't this supposed to be about my wishes though, not theirs?

It is, but perhaps a balance needs to be struck between what you want (no religion) and what would be helpful for your loved ones to say goodbye to you. That's why I suggested discussing your wishes with them.

In fact we should all discuss these things as far as possible. Having an idea of what someone wants (even if it's very basic) makes a huge difference to a grieving family who have to sort things out.

Bear in mind that these decisions have to be made quickly - even to register the death it is necessary to state whether it will be a burial or cremation.

Crabapple

Just read your sig Snapelover - you can't recover the occasion after it's missed - personally I would miss an opportunity to be with my family and say goodbye to a loved one, no matter how informal.

SailorSam

whodathunkit wrote: »

No, funerals are for those left behind - you won't be there.

The Op will be there, and she said in her first opening sentence that she didn't like being the centre of attention.

whodathunkit

Snapelover wrote: »

Well, If that's the case I won't bother doing anything then. :rotfl:

Probably for the best.